I never knew she made eggs.


I suppose that after getting the chop from the X-Factor she needed the money.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:12, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I know you generally inhabit the bottom of the barrel
but this appears to be chipping away at the rust and dirt on the underside.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

*steals*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Hello my drunken chum.
How's your head?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:24, Reply)

dreadful!
think i got in about 3 and went to bed about 5.

even a toasted bagel with cheese and fresh orange has not made me feel ANY BETTER! doom.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:27, Reply)

:D
Sounds like a good night anyway.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:28, Reply)

oh you bastard!
why do i feel the need to come home and "sober up" by pissing around online? why??

they were lethal though. £150 for massive cocktails and i seem to have bought two, from the card receipts in my pocket. however, i also have a massive fistful of £10notes, so i am guessing my friends contributed. either that or i noshed someone off on the way home......
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Must have been your friends.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:36, Reply)

are you suggesting she noshed off her friends?
no wonder so many b3tan men are fond of her.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I'm suggesting there is no way she'd earn a massive fist full of tenners on the game.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:37, Reply)

That's just mean.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:38, Reply)

nah
he's just judging me by his own wurzel standards innit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:42, Reply)

What are you doing today?
Racing your pigeons or taking the whippet for a walk.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:46, Reply)

tidying my kensington flat
valeting my mercedes car

shopping in the designer village at westfield

meeting my friend for champagne bar, cinema and late dinner on the terrace ACTUALLY.

/fur coat, no knickers
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Westfield is bent.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:53, Reply)

ssssssssh
there's a scarecrow in that field needs a new hat my loverrrrrrrrrr.

if you can manage to put it on his head with your 6-fingered hands, that is.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:56, Reply)

cataloguing her £100 notes

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:51, Reply)

won't take long
:(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:56, Reply)

not all of us
have to pay out for it, jeffrey.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I approve of this type of monetary figure mentioning
It aids the narrative. I do know just how much my approval means to you.
( djtrialprice, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:38, Reply)

just because that would buy a house in scotland

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

In a weegie suburb probably
But they're so bad I'd rather live in the grim north west *shudder*
( djtrialprice, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:43, Reply)

speaking as a lawyer
i take issue with your incorrect useage of the word "living".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Agreed
You don't live in the north west, you endure the north west.
( djtrialprice, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:49, Reply)

you should just be grateful they let you in
cheshire RAWKS.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Cheshire's hardly 'the north' is it?
You southern poof.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:51, Reply)

now i can take being called most things
but NOT a poxy southerner. i am yorkshire born and bred, thank you very much!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:57, Reply)

where I come from
that *is* southern.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Fuck me, £150?!
*faints*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:38, Reply)

towards the end of the month when the cash runs out
I'd definitely fuck you for £150.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

It's usually £200, but I'm sure we can come to some arrangement.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:42, Reply)

it sounds awful
but actually it feeds about 10 drunken eejits, and £15 a cocktail in a nightclub in central london is pretty average.

but then i get horrified at all the sharing of straws and washback and go off and get my own private vodka stash anyway. i'm stupid when i'm drunk!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:44, Reply)

When drunk eh?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:45, Reply)

i didn't say exclusively when drunk
often it's also when shopping, choosing a boyfriend or parking my car by a steep pavement too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Parking on a hill is easy
if you're pointing uphill, angle the front wheels to the right. If you're pointing downhill, angle them to the left. That way, if the handbrake gives up, the pavement will stop the car.

I parked at the supermarket the other day by reversing into a bay! This is almost unheard of for me, and I was quite proud.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:49, Reply)

i didn't parallel park for about 12 years after passing my test
then i got my car down to london. if you can't parallel park in a space that wouldn't fit a hamster, you can't park. so i am awesome at it eventually. BUT i do have a horrible habit of scraping the kerb. my poor beautiful alloys are so buggered they make grown men weep!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I rock at parallel parking
but I wouldn't like to have to drive in that london.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:57, Reply)

i first did it as a student
so kind of got used to it. basically so long as you know the rules: nobody will let you in, and you will let nobody in, and black cabs do what the fuck they want, and smug bastard cyclists ignore every street sign, traffic light and pedestrian crossing... you'll be fine.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:58, Reply)

That's just mean.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:28, Reply)

"we said meh.
M-E-H. meh."

/lisa simpson
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:34, Reply)

one annoying woman among many that inhabit the TV.
Luckily, most ofd them seem to be on ITV, so I can avoid them en masse.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:17, Reply)

You watch Jezza Kyle though right?
I hope to catch up on the goings on of the proles once I'm unemployed again like you.
( djtrialprice, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)

oooh you little tinker
I have never watched that chav-baiting tosser, and I am not unemployed. How very dare you.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I watch it when I'm off work ill
so I can feel good about having a job. And an emotionally stable personality.
( djtrialprice, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Emotionally stable?
*blinks*

You?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Shut your hole!
I'LL CUT YOU!
( djtrialprice, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I thought that was all a bit polite for siblings.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I'll be staying in the same house as her for a few days this week
Can't remember the last time we did that. It's not going to be pretty.
( djtrialprice, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Oh yeah, that sounds... fun.
I don't know if my brothers and I would be able to spend more than a day in the same place together without tearing each other apart.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I'm an absolute fucking delight to live with
thank you very much.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I can see hanging out with a Scouser
has had a good effect on you...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:34, Reply)

i nearly put something very crude/funny here
then remembered he is your brother. and it would just have made your eyes bleed. so i deleted it. and typed this shit instead.

i never know when to stop with a hangover. it's like a tumbling bumbling streak of consciousness...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Yes, because I am such a delicate little flower
and of course I believe that dj and Roota are saving themselves ofr the holy state of matrimony.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:39, Reply)

When in reality she's at him with the strap-on the moment he gets off the train.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

That's Al, surely?
Roota only gets the sloppy seconds.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Sounds like my kind of seconds.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:42, Reply)