I haven't had any chocolate
the thought of it makes me feel quite, quite ill. Last night was a giggle but I haven't had nearly enough sleep, food or fluids and when I checked my sent texts this morning I immediately wished I hadn't.
(berk, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:40, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

hello you
have been wondering how you are. has he come crawling back like the dog that he is???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Sort of.
we agreed to disagree and say see each other to say goodbye on nicer terms, but it's all still a bit strained. Me being an affectionate, overly truthful drunk may have complicated matters. I'm not sure how, but it probably has.
(berk, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:51, Reply)

it won't be over
if you've agreed to meet up. breaking up after an argument almost never means "the end".

it's only when people are cold about it and say "i don't want to see you again" that it's over, over.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:53, Reply)

true
he has probably just gone from being angry about perceived criticism to freaked out about my excessive honesty. I haven't heard from him this morning, but since we only stopped talking went to bed at 3am and he doesn't have a nephew to bounce on him at 8am, it's possible he's still asleep. Lucky bastard.
(berk, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:59, Reply)

He should have had you to bounce on him at 8am

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:01, Reply)

i think the only thing that you have done wrong
is to date a man who is emotional like woman!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:02, Reply)

oh god, a thousand times this
I'm the one that's meant to be high maintenance and irrational, not him.
(berk, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:07, Reply)

flouncing and sulking and pouting
is deeply unsexy. remember this when you feel that you fucked up - he may grow out of it, in which case great. but if he doesn't, sooner or later, you're going to shove your tennis racket up his arse to practice your backhand...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Morning lovelies,
I have a mate who is like that, proper emo and it drives people insane. We deal with him by hitting him and excessive bullying. I reckon that might work for you berk.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:19, Reply)

I'd like to think a guy who's fit as hell, charismatic and averagely-hung would be a little more comfortable in his skin.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:10, Reply)

a thousand times this as bloody well
I don't get how someone can be so outwardly confident but seem so insecure. Maybe i'm reading him wrong, and he's not insecure at all, but it surely as hell seems that way.
(berk, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Everything okay mate?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I've fortunately got out of the habit of drunken texting/calling/emailing although I do post here occasionally when I've had a few.
No major disasters?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:42, Reply)

this is exactly me!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:45, Reply)

me too
My 2nd most popular QOTW answer: www.b3ta.com/questions/celebrities/post536527/
( djtrialprice, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:56, Reply)

JMG's response to that is excellent!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:03, Reply)

i do like a bit of jmg

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I do too, but don't tell him ffs.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:06, Reply)

i once pretended i fancied him, ONLINE
he had no idea who i was. sad times.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:08, Reply)

time will tell
I can't usually work my phone when i've been drinking, let alone have a text conversation til 3am in which I completely fail in every single way possible to play it cool..
(berk, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:52, Reply)

see
if he wasn't still keen, no way would he have been texting that long or at that time. men are callous little bastards. he would just have said "bye berk".

this is why i never ever text or call guys (well, apart from the one ex who can always be relied on for sympathy sex).
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:55, Reply)

SweepingStatement(Women are all snakes with tits)
We're not *all* callous little bastards you know?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:58, Reply)

yeah
some are completely whipped.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 11:59, Reply)

yes
you

are

i could link to a million examples just on here of just you being a callous little bastard!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:02, Reply)

For mine and other's amusement, at targets who give just as good as they get, if not better.
Banter, swipe, rarely malicious.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:05, Reply)

CALLOUS LITTLE BASTARD!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:06, Reply)

JUMPED-UP FORGETFUL CUNT

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:07, Reply)

just because you are accurate
does not negate the callousness, the littleness, or the bastardness.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:08, Reply)

I think it probably enhances it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:08, Reply)

i think it possibly does
shit. agreeing with noel. ONLINE.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Wuv woo.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:11, Reply)

feck orf!
with yer soppy shite
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:12, Reply)

I call 'em like I see 'em
if I'm keen, I'll be keen. I'll try not to be obviously, embarrassingly so, but I'll usually fail. Also, I have absolutely no patience with waiting for replies, which is generally very bad when trying to play it cool.
(berk, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:02, Reply)

i learned the hard way
at 21, the more horrid my then bf was to me, the more i went out and treated him to stuff or cooked him dinner.

eventually he turned to me one night and said "why do you feel you have to buy people things to make them like you?"

it took years before i could enjoy buying presents for people again after that!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:04, Reply)

ouch, what a cunt!
I don't think I'm quite that bad, but the 'treat em mean, keep em keen' thing does work on me to a degree and I utterly resent it. Why can't everyone be as straightforward as I am??
(berk, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:09, Reply)

if there's a cunt
a weirdo or a retarded child-mong within a 20000000 mile radius, i'll pull him. it's like a gift. or a curse.

but unfortunately, much as everyone says they want to be straightforward, dating is all about games and boundaries. the male is a fragile and an elusive beast, and one that is easily startled or scared away...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:12, Reply)

did you ever back from the actuary?
I felt bad for laughing but that little tale really brightened my evening. We sure do know how to pick the brain-wrongs..
(berk, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:21, Reply)

yeah
it gets worse! i couldn't resist poking it a little bit further, and got back such romantic gems as "have a nice night, hope you get raped looking like that" and "i want to pull your hair out and come in your eyes".

you couldn't make this shit up!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Eeeeww!!

(berk, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:30, Reply)

i know.
i blame this place, because i keep thinking he is joking.

but on re-reading them... no, i think he is actually that dark!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Who the... what the... eh?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 12:48, Reply)