alt q
why is my boss such a grumpy git this morning and why do i have to re-do an entire NIGHTMARE of a report after having been here until 1am last night and why should i not burst into tears and run screaming from the office to butcher 57 primary school children in a blaze of glory style exit?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:27, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Because you get paid in gold bars, that's why.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:28, Reply)

The paperwork would be a pain in the arse.

( Kroney, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:28, Reply)

He didn't get laid at the weekend.
And like all bullies, they kick down.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:33, Reply)

No reason. Kill the children,
they deserve it and you'll feel much better.

LISTEN TO THE VOICES.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:33, Reply)

This

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I've got the smallest violin in the world, here
It's playing just for you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:34, Reply)

STRIKETHROUGH violin END STR... I really cannot be fucking bothered.
Greetings, Mighters.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Aw, man, that would actually have been a good strikethrough.
Morning, chap. Good weekend?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Not bad at all, sire.
I shall spare you the gory details (actually it was rather sedate). You?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

not too shabby, cheers. The usual stuff. Drank booze. Danced. Got married.
standard May weekend, really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

You actually got married?
Why aren't you on honeymoon?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:46, Reply)

because there are certain work things I have to deal with
for the next two weeks. We're going towards the end of may.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Congratulations sir!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

cheers.
Now get out of my wife.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

*splat*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Did you really get married?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:47, Reply)

yes, I did.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Well I for one am enormously pleased for you.
Well done that man. Good work.

Now get off the internet and have sex with your wife.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

*gets off internet and has sex with badger's wife*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

*gets off with the internet then tries to marry a badger*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

thank you kindly
and I would, but Sportscow has already beaten me to it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)

'I would, but there's an empty pasty bag in my hall and a trail of crumbs up to our room'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

haha, tidy.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Most people have
Even I have, and I've got one of those microdicks
(NakedApe My dad still touches me up, I quite enjoy it, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Does it count as cheating if she can't tell you were doing it?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 9 May 2011, 12:03, Reply)

is it actually rape if it doesn't touch the sides?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 12:04, Reply)

No
Er - I mean - I have no idea
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 9 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Congratulations.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Congratulations, Badger
You have my heartiest and most hale sentiments of good wishes and wellbeing.

Dancing is a tricky beast to master.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

basic swing is easy-ish
and fine for weddings as long as you seem confident, always lead and don't tread on their toes. But compared to the stuff you do, that's like saying knowing the chord shapes for A, E and D means you can play guitar.

And cheers mate.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Basic swing isn't the easiest thing to do, because of the aforementioned leading and toe-tread possibility
In all seriousness, congrats - I hope it was a wonderful day for all involved.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:58, Reply)

I didn't tread on the bride's toes
everyone else doesn't matter ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Damn right
Well prioritised there
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 9 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Congrats!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 May 2011, 12:27, Reply)

you're talking about your cock aren't you?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:45, Reply)

why yes*, yes I am.


*not really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:46, Reply)

oh
i was
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

nah, you weren't

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

He can beat a bear to death with it, you know

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:58, Reply)

You have my sympathy today
Work I've done on Saturday that seemed to work fine hasn't. I now have a very angry site and have wasted the morning on here fixing the stuff that should have been working anyway. This means I won't have time to do today's work and so my week is fucked already
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Come on Sportscow!
That sort of defeatist attitude is for mortals.

Not Olympian heroes like us.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

*mans up*
(not in a Darth way)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I love that my nick has become a B3ta byword for bumming
I really do
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Sorry mate

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Haha, you worry too much mate
I don't really care that much - wouldn't do me any good if I did, would it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Have a pasty.
You'll feel fine afterwards.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

My pastie forfeit is in the queue
3 ahead of me to eat. We also have had a massive muffin delivered which sorted my cups of coffee out lovely. Right, fucked site is now not fucked any more and upgrade at other one is going fine. RARGH!

I am sportscow, hear me Moo
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 May 2011, 11:44, Reply)

That's the spirit

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 9 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)