You have more people shit on you than I have, though.
Think on THAT.
( Kroney, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:09, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Exactly how many have you had crap on you?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:13, Reply)

26 in a single night.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:16, Reply)

That was the apex of my career
I put a video on you tube about it. It's called "Shatgun Wedding".
( Kroney, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:19, Reply)

Weren't you also the star of 'Endangered Faeces', alongside 'David Shattenborough'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Also "Two Boys, One Cement Mixer"
That one wasn't such a big hit, though.
( Kroney, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:23, Reply)

it wasn't ON me
it didn't TOUCH me

it was just TOO NEAR me for comfort
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:13, Reply)

he crouched over your amble bosom and laid a long steaming log along your clevage didn't he?
and you loved it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:16, Reply)

boob docking

( Kroney, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:18, Reply)

He coiled out a corn-studded 18 inch 'Douglas Hurd' onto the top of her head.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:19, Reply)

ha ha ha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:21, Reply)

You were in the same bed as it.
Perhaps you exaggerate the 'leopard-like' haste with which you apparently fled the scene. Perhaps you even took a little time to ...expand your boundaries?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:36, Reply)

I hear she snuck down to the kitchen with it and popped it in the freezer for half an hour
Before "expanding her boundaries" around it
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:37, Reply)