I'm pleased that my mrs seems to want kids less and less as time goes on
and she started out not really wanting them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:59, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

A few more years and she'll be hunting them down and killing them.

( girlinthehole, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:00, Reply)

Myra Hindley lols
EDIT: This is the worst thing I've ever written
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:02, Reply)

gross gross gross

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Soz Kirizza
I know you hate child crime jokes
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:10, Reply)

i know, but it's nice for other people

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:00, Reply)

meh
recently it's just been fucking up my plans. One of my best friends is up the duff and it means that she can't come to my wedding because she is due on or around the day.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:03, Reply)

I'm not doing anything on your wedding day.


When is it?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:04, Reply)

10th September

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Down Bristol way?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)

ah man, sorry her happiness is ruining your life
:(((((
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:07, Reply)

you fucking well will be sorry

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)

what did I do?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:09, Reply)

nothing
I'm actually really pleased for her. Wondering how they will manage considering her husband has only recently started his own joinery business.

is a bit disappointing though. They are great people and I really wanted them there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)

I imagine since you hate children it's like a punch in the gut.
Poor you.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:17, Reply)

I don't hate children all that much
if they are related to me or my friends or the mrs' family. I just really don't want any of my own
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:18, Reply)

her brains aren't going to leak out of her
along with the placenta, they'll be fine
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:21, Reply)

have you ever met a new mother?
they do give birth to their brains, except where the kid is involved

only a few admit it, but they do get pretty retarded
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Oi Vippers
I'm gonna be down in Bristol on the 10th September to run teh halk marathon on the 11th, it's like fate is conspiring for you to invite me. And you should invite CHCB and Catface too so they don't feel left out.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Exeter isn't Bristol you realise

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:26, Reply)

In teh grand scheme of things
it might as well be, especially since I have a car, it's, like, an hour at most from Bristol?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)

yeah, about an hour.
I'll consider it. I mean it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Woohoo!
I won't be able to drink, what with the half marathon, and neither will CHCB.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)

well that's no fun

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)

If you will get married on such an inconvieniant day.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)

it's convenient for me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)

fair few amount do get stupidly overprotective
my mate Laura, who's 21, just had her first baby, her boyfriend left her and said he didn't want anything to do with either of them
is one of the happiest, most sensible mothers I have ever met, and the baby is only a month old
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:26, Reply)

the ones that really bug me
are the ones who aren't massively intelligent to begin with, and yet when they have a baby think that they are suddenly in charge and know best about everything
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)

hahaha right, I hate the ones that cling to their babies like if someone else holds them the world will end
my friends matt and sandy are uptight anyway, their daughter was about 3 months when I went to visit them and offered to hold the baby so sandy could eat
sandy took about 4 bites and took her back
it's mental
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)

my experience is pretty limited
I only held a baby for the first time earlier this year and that's because I had my niece forced into my hands.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I hope I won't be like that
I hope it very much. And that I remain able to talk about things that are not baby related.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)

I'm sure you will
my friends and relatives who have had them and were interesting and decent people beforehand have remained so.

The people who talk about nothing else probably didn't have anything else to talk about before they had a baby.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Everyone is different, of course.
But Laura has been a prime example of an awesome mom.
She's just so happy, and wants to share that with her friends.
She's not scared that one of us will accidently claw the babys eyes out. Which seems to be the case with new moms. Being nervous is understandable. Being irrational is not.

Of course you'll talk a lot about the baby, it's a big part of your life, and people will understand that and enjoy talking with you about it.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Reading that made me feel good
I'll make sure more than half of my status updates on FB are not about the baby :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)

I've got one that talks about her kid on every status update
and now she's pregnant again so she's talking about her pregnancy as well
and I'm fairly certain she has more than 500 photos of the first one on her page.
When you're happy you talk about it, so I wouldn't worry about it :)
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:55, Reply)

I'm not putting any child photos up
Paedo's everywhere innit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

*fishes for invite*
I have my own shoes and trousers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)

That's handy
Are they fishing trousers?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:10, Reply)

No, but they are stripier than a zebra in it's pyjamas

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Perfect for Vipros' wedding, I'd think
are the shoes brown or black?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Black of course
There are in my opinion few worse crimes than wearing brown shoes witha suit...and witha morning coat! *shudders*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)

I got my suit here
www.pakeman.co.uk/category/80/Morningwear

with the second trousers and the single breasted buff waistcoat
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:23, Reply)

nice
I have a dark grey Prince Edward coat and trousers, a high necked white shirt and will have a black waistcoat when I get it made next month.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Very nice
A lot posher than Mark! But then, I didn't want him to look posh.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)

my mrs hasn't had any say in what I'm wearing
I just decided I wanted to look like a victorian gent, and so that was it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)

I should have let Mark to do it
he wanted something like that, and I said that if he was going to go posh, then I had to go posh, and no way. Poor guy, always does what I ask him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)

awww
a little while ago we were driving along in the car and my mrs goes "you know, I've been thinking, I looked really fucking good in my wedding dress"

I can't wait to see her in it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Oooooh
I'm sure she'll be gorgeous! And I bet the moment you see her walking towards you, you'll get a massive smile in your face and want stop feeling happy for at least 24h!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:53, Reply)

That happened to us too
It's not nice, but it's a better excuse than "we always go skiing those days, so sorry"
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:09, Reply)

that is a terrible excuse
we've only had one excuse so far, from my gay uncle. "sorry, can't come, I'm going on holiday with some gay mates and I can't be arsed to drive from your wedding to where we are going"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)

How far is Dunstable from Devon?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:13, Reply)

I have no idea

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:17, Reply)

That's really a bad excuse too
I got upset at the beginning, but as Mark said, "If they don't want to be on the wedding, we don't want them to be on the wedding"
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:16, Reply)

that's my view
we've not caused a fuss, but apparently my grandparents had something to say to him about it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:17, Reply)

I bet they did
We didn't say anything either, but Mark's mother (the sister of one of them) was really unhappy and had a word.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:21, Reply)

to be honest, I'm only really inviting aunts and uncles so my parents don't have to look after my very elderly grandparents
as long as one set comes I don't care.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)

That's a good point
They can help with little kids too, if they're invited.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)

only going to be 4 kids there
and they are all very well behaved which is nice.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Look, at least it makes it cheaper
We had to send invites out in batches to be safe and still nearly all of them came. Selfish bastards, turning up, being happy for us.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)

that's our view
fewer people there for dinner the better
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)

I can tell you if it's 130 it costs rather a lot.
try to have less than that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I think we've got about 67

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)

we had 220...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:34, Reply)

at the meal?
fuck
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)

We invited 300
and less than 80 came to the meal, which was good. No way we could have afforded 300
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 12 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)

we certainly couldn't
basically got all our good friends coming to the meal, and inviting a shitload of others later on.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:39, Reply)

220 for church, reception and canapes all afternoon
125 for dinner and dancing. we kicked out the old folk
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)