After this long with a bit of a sniffle.
Get thee to an undertaker rather than a doctor.

Should you pull through, I predict that you will find something else to whine about, even though I am very pleased that you are gaining greater access to your daughter, who now stands a better chance of growing up in culturally rich environment.

Everyone who goes to Saturday's bash will be a winner. All others, I'm afraid to say, losers.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 23 May 2011, 9:24, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

YEAH!
*fist pumps*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 23 May 2011, 9:25, Reply)

I'll try to cope with this crushing disappointment as I see two of Britain's greatest music legends,
knowing that a mere 2,500 miles to the north a queue of internet spastics with be snaking across BGB's snow-covered garden, waiting to use her outdoor lavatory. AND I WON'T BE ONE OF THEM.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 May 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Outdoor Lavatory?
I'm going to piss over the garden wall.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 23 May 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I wonder if John Savident lives next door.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 May 2011, 9:35, Reply)

You know too much soap related trivia
I put this down to sitting opposite tabloid readers on the tube.

I'm being kind here.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 23 May 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I used to live with a woman.
That said, the emergency call transcript from when he got stabbed in the neck by a rent boy is one of the most amusing things I've ever read.

Also he based his vocal delivery on Foghorn Leghorn, which is an excellent thing to do.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 May 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Best excuse for almost anything.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 23 May 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I live with two women
and I have no idea who that is.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 23 May 2011, 10:07, Reply)

A Google image search tells me he was in A Clockwork Orange which I did not know,
ah said I did not know.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 May 2011, 10:10, Reply)

This made me laugh,
so I imagine anyone who actually knows who the fuck you're on about is in paroxysms of hysteria right now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 23 May 2011, 10:12, Reply)

That's right boy.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 23 May 2011, 10:23, Reply)

OMG!
YOU'RE GOING TO SEE PINK FLOYD AND DAVID BOWIE!!!!!!??????
(Bazongaloid, Mon 23 May 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I NO!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 May 2011, 9:39, Reply)

I love this post!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 9:42, Reply)