I am old beyond my years though: married, kid on the way
and my favourite part of the week? The Sunday papers and several cups of tea, lovely!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 15:52, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

29's not that young to be imminently sprogged-up nowadays
The rest of your post makes you decrepit though, yes. When is the little bundle of joy due?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 15:54, Reply)

By my circle of aquaintances it is, this is career driven Laaandan, not shit one out for the benefits basingstoke
It's due on the 2nd of August, so it's 30 weeks at the moment. i was watching videos of premature babies at 30 weeks last night, they were tiny but perfect...so weird!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Get Mrs Ape to cross her legs for a month past due date and it'll share a birthday with me
Which means I'll never forget when your bundle of joy was born, and it'll have the joy of being the oldest in its school year. The thrill of which will pale when it hits teenagerdom and everyone starts calling it a "HAHAHAHAVIRGIN" because of the starsign.

Apologies, it appears I may have bitterness issues.

Do you know the gender yet? Have any names in mind?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:03, Reply)

She might be bitter holding onto it for an additional montH!
Oldest in the year can only be an advantage for a boy i eould have thought, certainly when it came to sport.

No idea of gender, it's a surprise. We have a shortlist of names, all of which are ridiculously middle class.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:05, Reply)

If you call your child There'sAnAppForThat Ape
I will buy you a pint and never speak to you again
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:06, Reply)

* Virgoan bitterness high fives *

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 24 May 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Hahaha
Some interesting parallels being drawn between us here, Rev. Yours are manlier than mine thus far. I assume this is also true of your hair.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Yes it's a bit odd isn't it?
Similar taste in music, TV programmes, both Virgoans - not that I believe in that bollocks in the slightest of course.

And for the record - a number 2 all over.

*Awaits jobbie-based punnage*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 24 May 2011, 16:16, Reply)

And we're two of only three B3tans to my knowledge who love cricket
The other being The Mighty Badger.

Shithead. You, not him.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)

I was expecting that!
And of course we both love footie, which in these parts is quite a rarity.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 24 May 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Good point
I have no idea whereabouts "these parts" are for you, actually.

*awaits genitalia-related punnage*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)

By 'these parts' I meant on /OT
However, in your case, 'those parts' should be kept undercover at all times. You beast.

I'm actually north of the border, which as you say makes me a rampant shirt-lifter.

Not really though. When I'm taken to task for playing cricket up here I like to point out that more people play cricket in Scotland than rugby.

/trufax
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 24 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Sherioushly?!
I always thought the Scots regarded cricket as an English equivalent of sport, as little physical contact as possible. Good for you mate. Who's your footy team?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Yes it's apparently true.
I'm actually English by birth, which might explain it. Lived in Scotland all my life though.

My Scottish team is Celtic, and my English team is *ahem* Middlesbrough.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 24 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Mate
*shakes head sympathetically*

I'm heading off now, so I'll berate you for your club's inability to get Kris Boyd to score tomorrow. Have a good one.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Yes I'm off too.
Kris Boyd was bought from Rangers. I rest my case.

Cheers
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 24 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)

*ahem*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:21, Reply)

You don't even know what cricket is that far North
I believe that in Newcastle, like Scotland, it's practised as a homosexual martial art.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)

I love cricket, fact

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)

You lot are just doing this to make me look like a dick
I'm going to have to demand that each of you speak in the manner of a top-notch cricket commentator tomorrow. I call Boycott.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)

OK, I won't bother either then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Oh go on
Be Benaud. All you have to do is say "what a ripper" instead of POTD
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Are you still expressing suicidal thoughts Darth?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)

'Hi! I'm Richie Benaud, that spastic off the telly.
Darth Foxtrot is a fucking bent cunt and all of us here in the BBC cricket office hate his guts and are knobbing his missus. Until next time, that's all from us here. Goodnight'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)

You two are fucking inseperable at the moment
I think it's adorable
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Who? Me and Richie Benaud?
No we're not you weirdo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:34, Reply)

However, he does fancy the arse off Susanna Reid, so Sportscow is ok in my book.
*jizzy high fives*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 24 May 2011, 16:28, Reply)