Right, bollocks to NakedApe and his fucking BBC Micro issues.
It's 4:35ish - I challenge you to post something that is neither pathetic nor dull.

Can you?

EDIT: Alt for NakedApe only, can you spell 'received'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:37, 105 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It's not looking good here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)

A new low for /OT here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:43, Reply)

I reckon that if OT was Big Brother
I'd be amongst the first people voted off.

FACT.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:43, Reply)

I wouldn't even make it on.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:44, Reply)

You would.
You'd be the 'token gesture' foreigner.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:44, Reply)

SWEET
*fistpump*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)

The 'Robert van Winkle', if you will.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)

That's an interesting thought.
The question here is whether that would necessarily be

a) a bad thing for you or
b) something to actually be immensely proud of
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)

I think it would be a bit of both.
Winning Big Brother is a lot like being named 'employee of the month' you might make a financial gain from the situation, but everyone thinks you're a cunt.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Come on Nakers, there's a clue in the question!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:43, Reply)

I'll use it in a sentence for you
"I wonder when you received the violent and prolonged anal rape that turned you into such a bitter and twisted old bastard"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:52, Reply)

No, I cannot
But I can post that you are a burnt out has been whose list of venereal diseases is bettered only by Marc Almond's oesophagus.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)

'Who is list of venereal diseases'?
Who indeed, young Nakesby. Who, as you so rightly ask, indeed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:50, Reply)

what sort of person wears something like
This?

/dull
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)

A cunt.
/obvious
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:47, Reply)

An up and coming socialite, who thinks nothing of spending 175 bucks on a frippery

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Do you read Regretsy?
It's amazing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Someone who has just been shot in the temple?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

She's got a bantam cockerel holding onto her ear

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:06, Reply)

You did see the royal wedding, right?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:19, Reply)

Is this a good idea:
To make more room in my flat for my party I'm considering moving my bed into my housemates room and putting it on it's side.
Pro's:
A whole other room for partying
Makes cleaning my room a piece of piss.

Cons:
It's a bit of work
People may bang into it and end up trapped beneath it
I have to sleep on a fouton.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Cons pt 2: your guests will be able to see some of the most disturbing jazz-mags ever printed when your bed is lifted up

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Some of us have moved on from physical porn.
Streaming all the way.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:49, Reply)

You want to get that seen to.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Isn't 'physical porn' otherwise known as 'having a girlfriend'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:53, Reply)

I've moved on from that as well.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:54, Reply)

In the same way that I've 'moved on' from having any money?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:55, Reply)

In almost the exact same way.
Although I don't have people ringing me up demanding I get a girlfriend.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:00, Reply)

touche turtle!
Yay!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:01, Reply)

He'll also have to 'tidy away' the years worth of crusty spunk tissues that have been accumulating there

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:50, Reply)

He had to move to the top bunk in 2007, due to the volume of 'spunkerchieves' below.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I bet walking across your bedroom feels the same as walking across a cinema theatre

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Across a what?
Have you been at the cooking sherry again?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

I've just got back from Birmingham on visit to a tottally crap event at the NEC.
I didn't even have time for a kipper tie.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:50, Reply)

I don't care, I've finished exams. For a bit. At least.
Oh dear god my head hurts.

I had the horrible feeling walking out of the exam tht Cicero wasn't a republican...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Didn't he support the second triumvirate ?
Not very republican that ...
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I suppose de facto he supported the first by being Pompeys bum chum

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I have no idea about Roman history pre-4th Century AD.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:53, Reply)

WHAAAATTTTTT

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:56, Reply)

I no rite

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Hahahah oh dear.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Hello hotstuff.
There's a road called Deacon Way near the top of the Walworth Road. The best thing is is that Charms found it, not me. I love her.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:59, Reply)

As do I.
Not just a road - a philosphical system.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:03, Reply)

You'd better go to bed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:53, Reply)

I don't know why you have the opinion I sleep so much.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Because you only really post three things
I'm tired
I'm in bed
I hate/love exams and ancient history
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:55, Reply)

Well you obviously failed there, because I don't do ancient history.
In any way shape or form.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Yeah, Crow's not that old.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

That's the nicest thing anyone's said about me all day

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:01, Reply)

That's the nicest thing monty has said all day
I think he is on his period
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Fuck off.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Point proven

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Quick! Go to bed whilst you're on a high.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:03, Reply)

*throws down pen*
*runs home*
*rushes to bedroom*
*rushes to put pyjamas on*
*puts both spasticated feet into one leg*
*falls over and cracks head on corner of bed*
*dies happy*
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:04, Reply)

-plays violin-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Stop humiliating the poor boy.
His inability to hold a violin bow due to 'wrist inadequacies' is well documented enough without you rubbing it in any further.

Poor lad.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:05, Reply)

I bought him a wrist support from the pound shop
That's enough sympathy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:07, Reply)

More than enough, I'd say.
Let the bullying recommence!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Ancient translation/history/philosophy something ancient anyway

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Your mum?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:58, Reply)

I would say what I do but omg that's boring

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:58, Reply)

+ I WAS SO DRUNK LAST NIGHT

(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

I hope you choke on a roundabout, birthday boy.
Have a nice one.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Thanks doll.
It's a boring one tonight, celebrating at the weekend.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:01, Reply)

OMG. Is it your birthday today?
Why didn't you mention it before.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:03, Reply)

I was playing it cool.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:04, Reply)

happy birthday chompy
...woh... I think I did it again.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:32, Reply)

Oh dearie me Andrews gone all pissy again about his drink driving antics being mocked

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:32, Reply)

are you just cranky about the derby game tonight?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:33, Reply)

There's a very important game on Saturday Andrew, it could go either way, however I hope you'll be watching it as I'm sure United will make a better fist of it than Arsenal ever could

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:35, Reply)

of course I will be watching it and supporting united 100%. Arsenal beat Barcelona this season
I think if Utd can score first and stop Barca badgering the ref they have a very good chance. The best game is tonight though.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:38, Reply)

How about something that is both pathetic and dull?
Apparently, it's Rabbit Awareness Week.

Are you aware of rabbits?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:59, Reply)

I am aware of the double thud noise they make when I run them over
I am aware that they taste nice
I am aware that they are disease ridden little bastards
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:00, Reply)

When the little buggers run under my car wheels, yes.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:01, Reply)

I'm aware they stink when they're being skinned and gutted.
I'm aware that my friend ran over a baby one the other day, and exploded into tears.
I'm aware I nearly fucking died holding in my laughter at her hysterics.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:15, Reply)

I RAN OVER ONE LOLOLOL

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:24, Reply)

My youngest daughter laughed properly for the first time yesterday
This in neither pathetic or dull and if you think it is then you are an utter cunt.
( Peej, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:05, Reply)

That's charming.
Mine leaned over and gave me a kiss for the first time last Sunday, during 'Mister Maker'. That was a first. Traditionally I have to request one and half the time she says no, the little shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Try spreading chocolate spread on it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:11, Reply)

hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:33, Reply)

The problem is, she doesn't like cheese.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Additional learning teaching is hardwork but rewarding.
Not to be considered as a long term career though I think.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Apparently
If you knock a station master over while he is opening up the barriers at an old fashioned manual rail crossing, you are legally obliged to take over his job and life FOREVER.

FACT.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:10, Reply)

I can see the advantage if his wife is hot, his house large and grand and his children well-behaved and talented.
Otherwise I cannot.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:11, Reply)

All of that matters not a jot
The law is the law. Knock down a station master - the Fat Controller, if you will - and your life is OVER.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Well, it would matter to me
If I knew of a station master with such assets, I might well knock the blighter down with my traction engine. Otherwise I should be careful not to, the risk of his humdrum life becoming mine being quite a firm deterrent.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Humdrum?
Not with manual barriers. Every day is a dance with death.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Yes, but what would I go home to?
After a hard day gambling my very life upon the timely raising or lowering of the barrier, would I be welcomed into my comfortable suburban detached by a doting Christina Hendricks-lookalike and two angelic children, or would I push open the creaking wooden door of a stone hovel, to have my safe return acknowledged in indifferent grunt by a fearsome australopithecine harridan by the name of Bertha?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:21, Reply)

There's the gamble
If you intend to knock a station master down with your traction engine you had better ensure a thorough knowledge of his circumstances.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Well, with no guarantee of a job after I escape this place,
I may as well spend a bit of my spare time snooping round the nearest level crossing.

May need to acquire a traction engine as well...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Never let it be said that b3ta is useless
A whole new career awaits you.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:32, Reply)

Bonjour madame.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:33, Reply)

^ that's French.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:33, Reply)

Bonsoir monsieur.
Comment?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:37, Reply)

What indeed.


I'm fuckin' A1 tip-top at the mo. Are you? And your charming chap?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:39, Reply)

We are all fine here.
He's currently very happy as he serviced his forks last night - much grease and oil for lubing up. I had to help by ramming the spongy rings back into place. That was a joyous five minutes I can tell you.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:41, Reply)

Sorry - I have to go.
My euphemism-ometer has gone into meltdown. I'm heading for a Fukushima-style innuendo leak if I don't secure the perimeter immediately.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:42, Reply)