My father gave me some boxer shorts that are in my family tartan.
He genuinely believed this to be amusing, the deranged old coot.

I am not wearing them today, though. Today's are navy. Fascinating.

I freaked out last night and experienced what I wonder might have been a 'panic attack'. What a bender.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:44, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Where you trapped in a lift with someone bearing a striking resemblance to David Bowie?

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Sadly not. That situation would have been a great deal easier to resolve than the reality.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Ah! money worries.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:48, Reply)

I was at my desk at 8 this morning cancelling direct debits.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:50, Reply)

I applaud your decision to grip your finances by the balls and squeeze till your eyes water.
You're a braver man than me Gungadin.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:56, Reply)

If it makes you feel any better, my bonus was paid today and half, yes HALF has gone on tax, NI and student loan

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Worst of all
is that all that tax is just going to be spent on an UNJUST WAR that NOBODY WANTS and SECOND HOMES for CROOKED MPS.

*throws fire extinguisher at police*

*rolls on floor*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:06, Reply)

officepolitilolz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:07, Reply)

He found himself checking out fixie bikes with 'random' coloured wheels
Then he caught a look at his reflection in the shop window, and smoothed his hair over into an asymmetrical fringe thing, thinking it'd be a great look.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I popped on my lenseless glasses,
went to an 'awesome' gallery opening in Dalston, then fixied my way down to Shoreditch but I didn't stay there because it's no longer cool. It's sold out, man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I've heard Lewisham is where it's at now, it's like real you know, gritty.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:55, Reply)

I know you're jokin' and all
But I am so enraged right now I want to smash your face in. Fucking hipster scum!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Luckily he won't be able to run away very quickly.
Tight checked shirts, tucked into skin-tight jeans secured by a bright red belt plus a pair of retro Converse basketball shoes do not a swift getaway make.

God, now I want to hurt him, too.
( Kroney, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Relativley natural response to stress; panic attacks.
It's a feedback loop between your psychological and physical awareness. Your heart beats faster you go "omg I'm having a heart attack" so you pump shit loads of addrenaline into you body and it keeps getting worse until you feel faint and out of breath.
All perfectly common and natural.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:51, Reply)

If you're a pretty little girl.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:52, Reply)

ha ha ha ha ha
ZING
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Remember that birthday party on that boat that sank and loads of people died?
I’m going to remix that concept, but with a ‘flat in MK’ twist, this weekend.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:54, Reply)

How can you sink a flat?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:01, Reply)

To be fair, flats aren't know for their seaworthiness

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:05, Reply)

By creating an explosion so massive your entire building disappears into a fucking great crater.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Isn't TGB oop north this weekend?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:17, Reply)

This plus the after effects of 20 years of MDs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:53, Reply)