WEEEEEE-eEEEEEeee-EEeeeeeeeeee-eeeeelllllll! /Lulu
I've got tomorrow off cos some fly dude from the internet is coming to collect me in his pimp-mobile and we're picking up some hot honeys on the way to some kind of club and karaoke night, followed by a car-boot sale and abseiling on Saturday, Craig David in Sunday. You don't give a fuck what I'm up to this weekend. I don't give a fuck what you're up to this weekend, no one does apart from you. Shame, innit.

I'm more interested in what colour pants you're wearing today?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 May 2011, 8:46, 121 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Brown wool pants.
Very heavy.
(TheColonel, Thu 26 May 2011, 8:47, Reply)

I expect they're a touch itchy too.
Is this some kind of medieval punishment?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 May 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Lyle Crocodile is cool

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 8:59, Reply)

He really is.
I think he's Kyle now though. Damn you The Light in Chains!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Kyle is his middle name

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I subsequently found out there's already a book called Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile
so I think Kyle is better. I am finding hard to believe we're discussing the naming of a crocodile glove puppet here, but I like it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Inawhile?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:10, Reply)

He was almost "Dundee".

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Needs more SKAG for Dundee

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:13, Reply)

WINNA!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I'm sporting a fetching pair of white boxers today sir
Strikethroughs to felching not allowed

EDIT:
Morning all! Fucking knackered today but (for Gonz's benefit) Feeling Strangely Fine
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Up all night eh?

(TheColonel, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:00, Reply)

In a barking dog, Cow Jr falling out of bed way, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Must have had a loud bark to de-bed a child

(TheColonel, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:02, Reply)

Separate times = twice out of bed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Apologies for my insensitivity
I trust the fall did not damage said child?
(TheColonel, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Just mildly confused her
Once replaced into bed she went straight back off to sleep
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Were you able to Get A Grip last night?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Big and black....................like my soul.
Weather is not looking great but it should be dry for Saturday. Also there is a funfair in town in the park should anyone wish to get flung about on old brightly coloured mechanical contraptions.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:03, Reply)

"...but enough about what's in my basement!"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Yeah it's looking a bit cooler innit, might have to pack a jumper and that.
How was your holiday? Also, is it ok if I bring a friend? He's lean, he's green, he's a committed pescetarian and he's looking forward to meeting Burt.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Holiday was nice and even better to be coming home and having something to look forward to.
This friend wouldn't be stuffed would he?
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:14, Reply)

It's possible, yes.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Then I'm sure we can squeeze them in : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:17, Reply)

*excites*
I may even have to take part in the walk and try out my new walking boots.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Nice.
Not 100% sure about the leaving time yet, plus it's due to be 13deg and windy so be prepared.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Well I'm spending four days in a tent in the Lake District in three weeks.
So if I can't manage one afternoon on a slightly blustery hill I'm pretty fucked.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Aha.
I'm quite jealous, I'd hoped to get to the Lakes or the Peaks this year. Maybe next year eh.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Looking forward to it.
I'm not going with the most intrepid people ever, so should be nice and not too strenuous.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:39, Reply)

WE LEAVE WHEN I GET THERE

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Whet time would you expect me?
I'm more than willing to Be Helpful.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Red check boxers
I prefered the hot dry weather that was fucking over all of the farmers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:16, Reply)

This grey shit can gtfo.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:28, Reply)

This, on a quantum level
I could see my breath in the air this morning. It's nearly June, ffs.
(berk, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Dark green ones
I'm rather jealous of your awesome weekend, so I'm just going to have to do everything in my power to enjoy mine too! Slam Dunk should be fun, at least.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Black M&S cotton, same as every other day
I wonder if I need more pant-variety in my life..?
Weather looks shit for that walk on Saturday, mind. I might have to do my domestic goddess thing instead and perform a coup on Blousie's kitchen.
(berk, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Coup away! Plenty of room for all of us and if not, my sister's kitchen will be available.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Aha, marvellous!
I will bring everything I need and tidy up after myself, fear ye not.
(berk, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Navy Blue undercrackers for me today.
Fuck me if my windscreen didn't take a bullet on the way to work this morning. Them snipers ain't gonna stop me getting up to Blousie's bash.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:33, Reply)

House party!
Someone from the internet is going to meet my IRL friends, it can only end well.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Who would you dare bring from the nether regions of B3ta into the real world?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Fellow MK legend
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=50333
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:44, Reply)

The shitehawk,
could have been worse, monty was thinking of coming.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Me too but the other way round.
One of my IRL friends is meeting folks off the internet.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Have you warned them about, you know, the high prevalence of extra chromosomes that'll be apparant
I hope your mate is fucking tactful, I don't want to see whining post bash tales on here
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:46, Reply)

She'll only be present at the Friday mini-bash which the least troublesome B3tans will be attending.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Oh I get it, wheelchair access only on Saturday

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:53, Reply)

wheelchair mobility scooter
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:56, Reply)

*winks*
You think fast.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Woo!
I am one of the least-troublesome. This pleases me.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Cough *non-alcoholic beer* cough

(berk, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I thought you were keeping them seperate to your IRL friends

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:47, Reply)

She offered cake

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Oh man it's ON
Edit: Oh, just saw it's El Shitehawk, thought you meant someone else...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:50, Reply)

I've introduced a few internet people to my IRL friends
Well, 4 internet people, anyway.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Christ sakes it had better not be bella, whatever they think of you now could well hit rock bottom if you unveil that emophant

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:55, Reply)

emophant!
Click
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Haha!
She is one of the b3tans, yes.

Could be worse, she could be a Gothapotamus!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:13, Reply)

The two are so closely related as to be indistinguishable, albeit both sets will bore you for hours pointing out the nuances of the differentials in their gens
/David Attenborough voiceover
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:18, Reply)

PS tell her I simply love her blog
Best laugh in ages
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Tell her yourself fella, I've not spoken to her in months

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Blue and White striped
Though I think my fancypants are at the post office. It's a pain buying matching undies for under 20£, so I usually don't bother.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Get thee to M&S
they're not that expensive normally, and I've just bought two sets in the sale for £8 each.
(berk, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:42, Reply)

My normal knickers are from there
Just that when you go over a d cup things get more expensive and not so nice. These sets were cheap, though. God bless figleaves .
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:43, Reply)

No, I'm sure the limited collection stuff
goes up to an F, and that's all quite pretty. It's a real shame that bras above a certain size just seem to be horrible lacy tithammocks rather than making any effort to be aesthetically pleasing.
(berk, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:55, Reply)

I like breasts

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I like Lacy Tithammocks
I think I have some of her early work.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

I thought her early work was quite perky
But after the Lacy Tithammocks went bust, her outlook drooped somewhat
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Sizes please
/Darth
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Morning, Fwapmeister.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:48, Reply)

I'm glorious today honey
I hope your day is as dreamy as mine in delightful Norwich
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:52, Reply)

I woke up today and just thought ‘fuck that shit, fuck that shit’.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:58, Reply)

No Wai !! That's my favourite 'Aggrotech'* band COMBICHRIST
* also known as Hellektro, Harsh EBM, or Terror EBM
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Oh man they are so cool. The lead singer has lots of earrings and no-one understands his ANGER AND PAIN.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Listen man I'm old skool goin back to 'Icon of Coil'
I've even got YEAH tattooed across my fingers, Andy's so fucking cool man
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:25, Reply)

I’ve just got so much PENT UP FRUSTRATION AND ANGER inside me.
Luckily my music helps me to cope. It’s like therapy for me because I’m so fucked up and just angry yeah? Why did you have to leave, dad?????? WHY? YOU SUCK.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Monty, seeing as you love Combichrist so much
You might want to check out Zombie Girl. I know it'll appeal to your tastes.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I enjoy the abuse.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Cos you've got nothing to lose.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:19, Reply)

My father gave me some boxer shorts that are in my family tartan.
He genuinely believed this to be amusing, the deranged old coot.

I am not wearing them today, though. Today's are navy. Fascinating.

I freaked out last night and experienced what I wonder might have been a 'panic attack'. What a bender.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Where you trapped in a lift with someone bearing a striking resemblance to David Bowie?

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Sadly not. That situation would have been a great deal easier to resolve than the reality.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Ah! money worries.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:48, Reply)

I was at my desk at 8 this morning cancelling direct debits.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:50, Reply)

I applaud your decision to grip your finances by the balls and squeeze till your eyes water.
You're a braver man than me Gungadin.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:56, Reply)

If it makes you feel any better, my bonus was paid today and half, yes HALF has gone on tax, NI and student loan

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Worst of all
is that all that tax is just going to be spent on an UNJUST WAR that NOBODY WANTS and SECOND HOMES for CROOKED MPS.

*throws fire extinguisher at police*

*rolls on floor*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:06, Reply)

officepolitilolz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:07, Reply)

He found himself checking out fixie bikes with 'random' coloured wheels
Then he caught a look at his reflection in the shop window, and smoothed his hair over into an asymmetrical fringe thing, thinking it'd be a great look.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I popped on my lenseless glasses,
went to an 'awesome' gallery opening in Dalston, then fixied my way down to Shoreditch but I didn't stay there because it's no longer cool. It's sold out, man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I've heard Lewisham is where it's at now, it's like real you know, gritty.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:55, Reply)

I know you're jokin' and all
But I am so enraged right now I want to smash your face in. Fucking hipster scum!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Luckily he won't be able to run away very quickly.
Tight checked shirts, tucked into skin-tight jeans secured by a bright red belt plus a pair of retro Converse basketball shoes do not a swift getaway make.

God, now I want to hurt him, too.
( Kroney, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Relativley natural response to stress; panic attacks.
It's a feedback loop between your psychological and physical awareness. Your heart beats faster you go "omg I'm having a heart attack" so you pump shit loads of addrenaline into you body and it keeps getting worse until you feel faint and out of breath.
All perfectly common and natural.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:51, Reply)

If you're a pretty little girl.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:52, Reply)

ha ha ha ha ha
ZING
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Remember that birthday party on that boat that sank and loads of people died?
I’m going to remix that concept, but with a ‘flat in MK’ twist, this weekend.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:54, Reply)

How can you sink a flat?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:01, Reply)

To be fair, flats aren't know for their seaworthiness

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:05, Reply)

By creating an explosion so massive your entire building disappears into a fucking great crater.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Isn't TGB oop north this weekend?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:17, Reply)

This plus the after effects of 20 years of MDs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I have tomorrow off
and am going to do some cleaning. Then wooks is coming round and I am going to make him play kerplunk and motogp top trumps then we're going for delicious ribs then drinking may be involved then oop norf on Saturday, getting there just after the walk has started so fuck that we'll go to the fun fair instead. YEAH FUCK YOU NOEL we'll have fun without you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Black boxer trunks
This weekend I shall be driving 400+ miles to hang out with awesome Internet People and TGB.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 May 2011, 9:58, Reply)

You love me really

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Black

( Peej, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:02, Reply)

racist

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Sorry
I meant coloured.
( Peej, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Light grey and full of holes.
My milkshake brings ALL the girls to the yard.
( Kroney, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I hate milkshake.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:17, Reply)

FINE

( Kroney, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Well hate might be too strong a word but I can stomach it if pushed.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Like a playdough fun-factory
"star or cresent moon sir?"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:17, Reply)

More like mince in this instance.

( Kroney, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:20, Reply)

+prison

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Not worthy of a new thread
But this made me officeLOL
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:29, Reply)

A Tard in Chard

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Light grey trunks
but they started that colour, honest.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:42, Reply)

White.
With rather lovely yellow and brown highlights.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 26 May 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I never wear pants.
It makes me feel so working class.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Thu 26 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)