If the faraway person fancied your arse off
Then either get them to move to you, or go to them. I don't want to be with someone I deem 'second best'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:07, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Totally this.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I hope a certain someone is reading this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:11, Reply)

was that a sneaky ninja edit I saw there?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I read something about a 'Lost Ark'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)

*nods*
fortunately, I'm far too nice to make fun of someone for being a typing spazmo.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Thaenkzs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Oooh me too, I love Charlie Brooker!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Unfortunately some people do settle for second best.
This I have learnt to my horror.
( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:08, Reply)

You've fucked Piston as well

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:11, Reply)

This Piston sounds like a right old studmuffin.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:12, Reply)

He's ruined most b3tan fanny that's fo sho

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Ruined how?
By introducing a minge-cringe of epic proportions?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:15, Reply)

By giving them the trademark piston smashing, and then falling asleep whilst still inside

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:17, Reply)

This actually made me shudder
congratulations
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:20, Reply)

He bored himself to sleep?
Sounds like a useful skill.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:20, Reply)

www.jamescartercomedy.com/
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

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( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:48, Reply)

THE HORROR

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:50, Reply)

For a supposed comedy based website, he's by far and away the most talked about stand up comedian
By the rules of the internet that's a win win for Piston
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:51, Reply)

He's the only stand-up comedian though isn't he?
If you were a stand-up I'm confident you'd get more positive feedback than that 8 minutes of pure verbal torture. Even if you just took to the mic once in a pub and called everyone a cunt then sat down again. Which, let's be honet, is probably exactly what you'd do.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:01, Reply)

There's a number of stand up comedians on b3ta, however none have the balls to deliver :
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1116154

Thank god search is back
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:05, Reply)

This is a brilliant piece of literature

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:09, Reply)

We can but thank our scribe the latterly departed Stephen 'Friz' Frizzle

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Oh God.
Bumraped by a tramp? Seriously?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Ok. point taken!

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:52, Reply)

nope

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:12, Reply)

It's ok bgb, nobody willingly admits to the deed

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)

That's ok then.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Voice of erudition and reason, right here.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Someone's gotta be

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:13, Reply)

no one would have believed it'd be you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:31, Reply)