A fellow who works for me used to smoke 100 fags a day.
I mean, how is that even possible?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:13, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Chain smoking innit.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:14, Reply)

They'd have to smoke a cigarette
every forty seconds for 12 hours. Ish.

Impressive commitment.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Mein Gott.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)

My maths is well out.
Really badly out.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Less impressive maths though.
I reckon abut 8 and a third fags per hour for 12 hours.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Yeah, I've just realised.
It's tough to do maths when you mix up "hours" with "minutes"
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:21, Reply)

That still qualifies for a 'Mein Gott' in my book.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Mine too. My best rate is 1 fag every 50 years.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Impressive.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:24, Reply)

It went out after a while.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:35, Reply)

That's one more than me
but I've only made it to 37.5 years so far.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:28, Reply)

I reckon it takes five minutes to smoke a fag
Four if you're really going for it. So if you were to chain like a bastard, he could be caning 15 before work, 10 at lunch and then, after work... JESUS
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Only if you smoke like a mincing homo
You can smoke a fag in under a minute, no problem. I used to smoke about ten a day and I'd polish one off in two minutes or so.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:19, Reply)

That's mental
You must have a mouth like a hoover

*unzips*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:25, Reply)

It's not mental
they burn down in five minutes on their own, with a prevailing wind.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:27, Reply)

And you were doing so well until that point.
Poor AA is going to be so disappointed.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:28, Reply)

It is too late for me, son
I'm the Darth Vader of gay jibes.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:32, Reply)

One word: Dedication.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Bit poor taste, Bri, seeing as how Roy Castle met his end...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Well, I thought he sounded a bit out of breath doing all that tap-dancing.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Oh monty, haven't you learnt from the decapitated drug dealer thing about believing everything you hear word-for-word yet?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Hahah it seems not.
My grandparents used to do 60 each a day, according to my mother.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:19, Reply)

Bloody hell
I can't manage more than one every two hours otherwise I get a sore throat.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)

It's not to be recommended: it killed my grandfather at 65.
He switched to a pipe, which is what my mother believes did for him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Yes, that's logical.

( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:24, Reply)

I think he smoked it like he smoked fags ie fully inhaled.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:25, Reply)

I think it's more likely
that smoking 60 fags a day killed him. I believe the pipe to be incidental.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:27, Reply)

But he hadn't smoked a fag in maybe 15 years when he died.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:33, Reply)

He was smoking a pipe for fifteen years?
Your mum was probably right, then.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:39, Reply)

Smoking generally isn't recommended.
All I remember from my first try is that I wanted to try again, and again, and again, and again, _{and again...}
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:29, Reply)

I smoked really hap-hazardly, never got into a rhythm
never formed smoking habits and I still wanted to tear peoples' heads off when I gave up.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 17:31, Reply)