When I've had to ask for someone's address at work,
and they say 'Guildford (or wherever), Surrey' the temptation to say 'oh don't be, someone has to live there!! LOL' is almost unbearable.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:55, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Surrey's a really nice place, as are most of the home counties.
The trouble is, mud-jumpers like you get a couple of brass farthings to rub together, buy a BMW or an Audi and bring their horrible manners down here.
( Kroney, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

You're a card, Monty, a fucking card.
Pornographic playing cards, remember them? Gone the way of Nerds and Domino Rally since the internet came along and democratised porn.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:58, Reply)

They are selling Nerds in Fenwicks in Newcastle!
Watermelon FTW
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Blimey.
What is Fenwicks?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)

It is a department store
but they have a cracking food court bit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)

There is a Fenwicks in York.
I may well investigate.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:04, Reply)

They sell Nerds in teh shop that GOnz went to
when we went round to Chez Gonz et Badger he had loads of them.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)

That means that if Nerds are still available, then so are porno playing cards.
Where can I get a deck?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)

If I come across a deck while clearing out my old place
I'll let you know.

There's a real chance of this, I know I had one when I moved in as a callow youth and I don't think I've ever thrown it away.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Oh man, that is the funniest idea.
My friend is getting married in Surrey on Friday, I hope I can squeeze this joke in somewhere.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Likewise...
After queueing at the checkout in Asda, the till assistants often quip, "Sorry about your weight", to which I reply with either, "Thought that slim fast wasn't doing the trick," or look them up and down if they're a frequent customer at Greggs :)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)

I am so using this next time!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

"Back atcha" is good too.
They never get it :)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)

What you need to employ here is the 'Roger Moore eyebrow'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:05, Reply)

I totally do this thing Monty,
only being a thick northerner, I wasn't aware of that term ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)

*waggles*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)

*Has "brow off" with sportscow*

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I have impeccable eyebrow skills.
hugz4u bbz lol

*waggles eyebrows*
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)