I once had a tramp follow me home
but I had earphones in, and as such didn't realise he'd wandered in to the house behind me. As I turned to put my bike away and take my helmet off, I caught sight of this wizened black Fagin-a-like, reeking to high heaven, just stood with his hand out, waiting for me to give him some money so he'd go away. I screamed in shock and he pissed himself. This is not a figure of speech: he actually pissed himself in the hallway.

The guy who lived in the downstairs flat came to see what all the commotion was about and found us both having absolute hysterics; me because there was tramp piss on the carpet, and him because I was screaming at him to get out and because I wouldn't give him any money. Thankfully said chap is about 6'3 and built like a brick shithouse, so he kindly dealt with the scary tramp and I went and had a very large drink.
(berk, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:52, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

+ of tramp piss that I mopped from the hallway carpet

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Thankfully there wasn't actually that much on the carpet
most of it had soaked in to his already crusty trousers.
(berk, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:01, Reply)

QOTW is over there ->
That is a top story actually. Did you enjoy yourself in SW19 yesterday?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I had a lovely day thankyou
shame it clashed with your gig though; it would have been nice to meet you. I believe you had a top time also?
(berk, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Damn right, the gig was amazing
Labs and I had a brilliant night. It would have been lovely to meet you too but you had a bloody good excuse. Due to traffic we were only in the pub pre-gig for about half an hour anyway :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:01, Reply)

FTS, FTS.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Are you trying to be a cat?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:59, Reply)

did you get pictures?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:00, Reply)

No, I was too busy going mental.

(berk, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:01, Reply)