No idea what I'm going to eat but I am peckish
I can drive, swim, ride a bike, abseil (properly, without the safety cord that they put on for the sponsored abseil thingies). Cook, clean, grow fruit and veg, milk a goat, handle chickens, build a good fire, drive a tractor, write a poem, give a cat worming tablets, change a baby's nappy, fire a gun (shot and hand), skin a rabbit, gut a fish and make meringues.

Form an orderly queue. ;-)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:38, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Can you use an iron?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:40, Reply)

I can
but choose not to.

Life is too short.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:40, Reply)

*Leaves the queue*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Don't go changing your mind now
and try to push in.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:48, Reply)

I choose to get the dry cleaners to do all my ironing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:49, Reply)

LIES
no-one can give a cat worming tablets. Even an octopus doesn't have enough arms.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:52, Reply)

also, can you abseil forwards?
this is crucial.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Christ, no!
Lunatics and the SAS do that.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Sssshhhhh!
And try putting the cat into the arm of a jacket - head poked out the end and their legs and claws are all tucked away. Then wrench the top of their head open and chuck it down their throat. Shut mouth (theirs, not yours) and rub their throat for a long time - ideally until they swallow and lick their lips.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I've solved the problem by no longer having cats.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:55, Reply)

I've had guys try that with me.
My head doesn't fit down the sleeve though.
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:56, Reply)

hahahaha
You need to use a wizards sleeve.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Or a clown's pocket.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:01, Reply)

I knew you'd get it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:04, Reply)

We all got it Jeff.
We were just all ignoring it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:06, Reply)

*nods*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:07, Reply)

*Sad face*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Yep.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:08, Reply)

fraid so.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Marry me!

( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:53, Reply)

I would Blousie
but I'm currently still married to an oaf.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I do not remember our marraige

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:58, Reply)

You were probably drunk
Or I was.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Thats OK then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:14, Reply)

*sidles up*
I can do all of that bar milking a goat. I can fly a plane though. And, obviously, beat a bear to death with my penis. In case I haven't mentioned that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:57, Reply)

yes, but can you skin an eel?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:54, Reply)

why would you want to?
they taste rubbish.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Why?

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:56, Reply)

ANSWER THE QUESTION.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:02, Reply)

I am sorry but I do get a bit excited when you're forceful.

( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:05, Reply)

*fetches mop*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:06, Reply)

You're going to need a bigger mop.

( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:07, Reply)

hornysharklolz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:11, Reply)

*aquaplaning chevron*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:16, Reply)

He is very masterful, isn't he?

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I'VE NEVER TRIED.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Nice chevroning going on here.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Excellent chevron work MB!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:18, Reply)