Having read his posts
He seems quite normal. For a given value of normal. By the way... how do you stop your friend's under age teenage daughter from hugging you all the time? It makes me deeply uncomfortable. She for some reason finds it hilarious.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:48, 7 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

make sure you have an obvious hard on next time
she does it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:50, Reply)

Grab her boobs.
They hate that.
( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:50, Reply)

Grease yourself up in lube so she slides off.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:50, Reply)

roundhouse kick to the windpipe

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:51, Reply)

we should start an
advice column
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:51, Reply)

fuckin' a
we have a gift to share
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Shit in her cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:51, Reply)

Hold on just a bit too tight
and give her a wink. Or insist on hugging her first
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:52, Reply)

carry a clipboard
and as she approaches ask her if she'd mind answering a few questions
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:00, Reply)

Jonathan King lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:02, Reply)

Reply to all above.
Chocolate fireguards have more use.

The weirdest is when I'm walking past a chair or something and she grabs me from behind, making me sit on her. I really need help with this!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:03, Reply)

what? You mean none of the above
helps?! shocking!

I think chcb's plan should sort it really
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:04, Reply)

I once got stuck in a hotel room because there was lube on the door handle.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:05, Reply)

How did this happen?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:07, Reply)

It was on my hand then my hand was on the door handle.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:07, Reply)

Do I want to ask the background on this?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:08, Reply)

her cunning plan to smuggle a vase out of the hotel had hit a frustrating snag

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:15, Reply)

A coil?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Just laugh it off and tell her it's not appropriate.

( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:05, Reply)

It hasn't worked.
I'm like some kind of anti-nonce.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:06, Reply)

Ask your daughter to act disgusted

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:06, Reply)

I don't have a daughter.
And Mum just wished me luck. Wonderful.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:07, Reply)

Have a word with your friend if it's that bad.

( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:08, Reply)

Another word, you mean.
I just hope this all goes away.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:09, Reply)

As long as he's aware you're not happy about it.

( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:11, Reply)

Both she.
Single parent family.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:13, Reply)

*how* underage?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:08, Reply)

14.
She tried to hold my hand once. I freaked. A lot.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:11, Reply)

sounds like you are the victim of teenage hormones

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:13, Reply)

Oh bugger.
I'm going to have to make her listen to Don't Stand So Close To Me.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:17, Reply)

it's time to get The Police involved

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:19, Reply)

And then she'll make you listen to "Every breath you take".

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Maybe some Gary Glitter instead?

( RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:20, Reply)