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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm new, do's and dont's ?

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:24, 243 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Don't mess with me.
Cause I'm well ard innit.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:25, Reply)
I'm surprised that jeff hasn't tried to shag you then.
Do you miss Robbie?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:27, Reply)
Wut!
You dissing me?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:28, Reply)
In a purely Internet friendly way. Don't act like you don't love the attention.
Sit, ...SIT! Good girl, roll over.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:30, Reply)
I hate attention.
I'm a fucking internet wallflower.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:32, Reply)
I can see that's working really well for you.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)
Fanku!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)
Hahahaha
I get this joke because I used to live with a woman.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:30, Reply)
I don't know if it's true but I heard once that Big-girl's-blouse got so angry at a b3tan that she punched her screen so hard it knocked his into his face
AND BROKE HIS NOSE
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:27, Reply)
hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:29, Reply)
Don't:
trust anyone who says they're a doctor; fuck your sister; defenestrate cats; flounce.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:28, Reply)
Defenstrate cats...? Do tell.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:32, Reply)
Please complete the following short n00b survey:
1. Do you suffer from:
a) delusions of grandeur?
b) Munchausens by proxy?
c) incestuous paedophilic desires?
d) undiagnosed Internet Aspergers?

2. Do you own:
a) a Honda Accord?
b) a fighter jet?
c) a record label?
d) the Lord of the Rings box set?

3. Do you hang out with:
a) supermodels?
b) 100 friends that you talk to everyday?
c) your three wives?
d) LARPers?

Please insert your regular username here: ________________________
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:40, Reply)

1. No
2. Lord of the rings
3. No
Soulbowl
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)
You are spot on.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:40, Reply)
You need to show everyone your bumhole
And expound headline tory politics as much as you can.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:31, Reply)
Oh Em GEE. TWO days in a row?!
Did you shit in the street this morning?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:37, Reply)
No way K Dawg
I did it in the kitchen sink and poked it through with a fork, washed it away with cherryade. Plumber fella hopped in this afternoon, poor bastard could hardly walk after falling off his van, and right, he's called Goose.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:42, Reply)
lucky he's alive then, eh
last fella named goose died i heard
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:44, Reply)
Fucker's on borrowed time I reckon
Still, he knows his way around a toilet, and for that he must be applauded.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)
did he strut in the door and say "so I heard you needed a plumber" then dropped his tool belt, then shimmied a bit?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:49, Reply)
He hopped. Literally.
His pal was carrying his stuff. I think he was a special.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)
It is customary to buy me any two LPs of my choosing.
Ask anyone.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:33, Reply)
listen to Black Mountain

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:45, Reply)
you must tell us IMMEDIATELy
If you have any embarrassing hobbies, habits or sexual fetishes
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:33, Reply)
The Bert is strong with this one.
I don't trust him.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)
damn

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)
Yes, like LARPing or something like that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)
yeah, that would be embarrassing
especially if you looked like one, too
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)
Thank the Lord that's not something I have to deal with on a daily basis.
That would be simply frightful.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:39, Reply)
I tap constantly and quite enjoy playing football. Apart from that
I am quite confident that whilst a sexual deviant I am not a danger to anyone.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)

t f
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:38, Reply)
tap? as in dancing, or as in a thing in Magic: The Gathering?
it's not so much if you are a danger as whether it's something we can rip the piss about
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:38, Reply)
With my hands, on surfaces. Apparently it's irritating.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:40, Reply)
SoulBowl, earlier:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8LufqHy_Nk&feature=related
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:38, Reply)
Wrong colour.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:42, Reply)
Racist!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:42, Reply)
That does look a tad racist, sorry, I meant I'm White.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)
'Differently coloured' we prefer round here, if you don't mind.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:44, Reply)
I would like to introduce
Persons of superior tanning
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 8:52, Reply)
Oh and you really must mention that some touchy cunt's bird is a bit ropey

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:38, Reply)
Whatever you do, what ever you do..... Thou Shalt Kill.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:40, Reply)
My dog is a king Charles spaniel by the way.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:41, Reply)
Oh, one of my faves ! Top 5, and top 3 if you're just counting small-breeds.
You must be happy all the time you're with it.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:42, Reply)
He was a handful as a pup but brilliant now. He is good fun.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:45, Reply)
Ace, I hope to have one myself, but I'm not entirely sure what is fair on a dog, espesh a pup... in terms of time left alone.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)
He was alone for no more than four hours a day for the first year.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:55, Reply)
Coolio
I reckon it might be best for to get an older one for my first one, maybe.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:56, Reply)
Tell me, how many friends have you got? I bet it's not 100.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:42, Reply)
They have to be ones you talk to on a daily basis though.
You can have several hundred on 'Facebook' but they don't count.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:43, Reply)
In that case about a dozen.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:44, Reply)
It's just me, the dog, and Jesus.
Not really. Strange question? Don't know.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:43, Reply)
It's a thing around here, comparing how many friends you've got. Well, it might be a thing, I'm running with it to see what happens.
I don't know anything about you, but as you've lurked, you probably know quite a bit about is. Tell me, what are your hopes? What are you dreams? What gives you a va-va-voom ?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:45, Reply)
I lurked over the whole site, found this bit by chance.
Hopes and dreams... Win the lottery tonight, buy an island and several tanks. Yourself?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:47, Reply)
I like tanks.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)
I like breasts.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)
You're welcome at the first battle. You can provide the sound track.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:49, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnGAgS8GzYg
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)
Well that's decided, you're captain of the baddies.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)
That was decided a long time ago.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:57, Reply)
have you been to tankfest
someone here did and I've forgotten who
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)
Wasn't it the Luggage?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:49, Reply)
FUCK, I FORGOT ABOUT IT. Damn it.
Mine is to be in a possition to have a dog, and have one. I know that sounds autisticly simplistic, but it means so much to me on so many levels, it would mean I have stable work, stable income, stable life and a sense of 'normailty'.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:49, Reply)
That's horses, Gonz.
It's kennels you want mate.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:52, Reply)
excellent work

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:56, Reply)
Give us your opinion on Monty via interpretive dance

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:43, Reply)
Steady, steady, don't want to mention dancing.
It might lead to flouncing.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:44, Reply)
CAN I TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE
It all leads to MASSIVE BULLYING

eh eh chcb I heard you had a baby, RECKON THAT MEANS YOU HAVE A ... wait for it ... VAGINA
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)
OMFG, I'm gazzing the mods!

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)
*poker face*

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)
Poke 'er face, then her DEFORMED VADGE, right?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)
I haven't a penis, so it's a bit like a dog that's had his nuts removed
a fuck load of humping, a bit of sweat, then giving up and just walking away after a few minutes
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:52, Reply)
...then chewing a newspaper.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:56, Reply)
only on the sabbath

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)
I bet she's got a vagina like a woman who has had a baby

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)
Are you trying to say that having a baby makes your vagina look deformed?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:47, Reply)
Nah, like a woman who's had a c-section.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:47, Reply)
wasn't sure.

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)
So you effectively have two now, right?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Every hole's a goal.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)
even if created surgically

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)
_and_ that she puts out big time.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:47, Reply)
Oh well, yeah, that's true.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:47, Reply)
It's one of your best aspects !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)
massive you know what, 90Nz0

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)
Would it be like lobbing a hotdog down a hall way lubbed with I Can Not Believe It's Not Butter ?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)
Haha, look at me talking like I'm bothered and wouldn't be greatfull.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:52, Reply)
Can we make it a bit classier?
Chorizo and Extra Virgin Olive Oil?
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)
I once heard it described as "sticking my foot in a bucket of warm water"

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)
Like chucking a chip up the M1, I heard.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:54, Reply)
OH, ZING-A-LING.
KAPOWWWW!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:47, Reply)
I'm not saying she's a massive you know what or anything, I just heard that's what happens to people that are massive you know whats
they have babies and stuff
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)
I think we're 'on the same page' here, old chum.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)
only if you are massively, absurdly over sensitive

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)
Don't watch this, ever.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw2hudMPkM8
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:49, Reply)
do however listen to this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUF19MJWowM
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)
Oh I very like that stuff

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)
i sure wish I'd listened

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:52, Reply)
I clicked on this related video on the side
www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wa1gV8jlo&feature=related
I have no idea what I've just witnessed but I do know it's the greatest thing I've ever seen.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:54, Reply)
AND YOU'VE SEEN 'PULP'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:55, Reply)
It amazes me you don't like them.
I always thought you were the sort of person who was at the forefront of the Britpop scene.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:57, Reply)
I like the fellow and everything he stands for, I just wouldn't buy a record off him.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)
I take it you're more of a Menswear kind of guy.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:00, Reply)
Daydreamer.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:00, Reply)
: /

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:57, Reply)
:/

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)
Pick a side.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:03, Reply)
Options?

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:10, Reply)
Inside or outside.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:10, Reply)
Out

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:12, Reply)
*has sharp intake of breath*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)
FUCKING HELL SOULBOWL IS A CUNT

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)
and probably racist too

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:14, Reply)
Typical, another fucking racist nig-nog. Great.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)
Right, someone else to add to the hounding list, it don't get any easier round here

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:22, Reply)
You must be fucking knackered at the end of a day on here.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:23, Reply)
Someone has to do it bgb, I went easy on Darth for a while there and now look what the cunts gone and done
UN FUCKING BELIEVABLE
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:25, Reply)
SOME PEOPLE, EH?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:35, Reply)
This is not a Cliff Richard reference btw'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:39, Reply)
*nods sagely*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)
Fuckin bastard 41 posts was all it took to root him out

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:24, Reply)
You're either for Kristine
or against her.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:11, Reply)
oh you're funny

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:24, Reply)
Either them or us.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:11, Reply)
front or back

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:12, Reply)
Tits or face (c) John Leslie

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:18, Reply)
smooth or with juicy bits

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:21, Reply)
Bits. JUST NO BLACK ONES.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:28, Reply)
Daddy or chips

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:21, Reply)
There's alot of shy users here, but the general consensus is that there needs to be more porn links
there's been a preference for scat in the past, but I'll leave it up to you
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:05, Reply)
Tuesday is usually random gaz your cock day

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)
that reminds me
did you enjoy it?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)
I always enjoy gazzing cock, there's been no takers so far, but as my mum says don't get disheartened

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:09, Reply)
Ironically the only day I don't do it.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)
Speaking of cock tuesday, where is freefair?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:08, Reply)
Having dinner with Wormulus mum.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:09, Reply)
RORY IS YOUR MUM??????

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)
'interesting' fact no. 148
My finger slipped when I was scrolling up the page and I almost put you on ignore.
This may not actually be interesting. But it is a fact.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)
'My finger slipped', eh?
Good luck with that, they never believe me when I try that one.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:17, Reply)
I've told you before
your finger shouldn't have been near that young boy in the first place
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)
hurr hurr

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:22, Reply)
If I get any funnier there might be a major disruption in the very fabric of time itself.
I'd best tone it down a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:27, Reply)
Wednesday is some salacious pose that you've caught your mum doing random gaz day

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)
Don't drop bits of Cornetto down your cleavage.
Trust the voice of experience.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:14, Reply)
The best thing to eat out of your cleavage is popcorn.
If you leave it down there it gets warm and tasty.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)
whereas ice cream
gets sticky and unpleasant.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)
in case you were wondering
recently consumed ice cream is as close to pleasant as vomiting gets.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:18, Reply)
Yeah
I once scarfed a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and threw up (not on purpose).
Tasted exactly the same coming up as going down.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)
My missus has tits so magnetic that food from my fork falls down there

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)
Haha!
Handy for a midnight snack.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)
I dunno
She's got a lot to go at. There are Japanese airmen and nazi war criminals down there.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:26, Reply)
Psst!
Don't let Monty know that.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:27, Reply)
34hh
Just saying
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:32, Reply)
I'm talking about the Nazi war criminals.
He has a soft spot for them.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:33, Reply)
Her tits kill jews and the disabled if that's any help?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:35, Reply)
Where do her tits stand on the 'Gyppo question'?
If the answer's 'proud' I'll be round in 15 minutes tops.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:37, Reply)
She reads the Mail
There's a key under the clematis
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:45, Reply)
I'll have no problem finding the clematis, belee dat.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:50, Reply)
Are you ever tempted to leave some unpopped kernels down there,
just in case you wake up in the night and feel a bit peckish?

*Rushes off to pitch the idea to Dragons' Den, it'll be like external Space Dust*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)
It doesn't get that warm Jeff.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:22, Reply)
It can do
*waggles eyebrows suggestively*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:23, Reply)
Why you little flirt : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:25, Reply)
little?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:38, Reply)
You must be joking.
They're 50p.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)
ASDA cornettos.
Two boxes of six for £2.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:22, Reply)
all of which could fit in your cleavage

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:28, Reply)
probably

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:38, Reply)
anyone know anything about cycling?
I don't mean proper, I mean bmx.
I just tried to look through a forum about bxm-ing and the complete lack of correct spelling, grammar, and sentences has done my head in.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:25, Reply)
What do you want to know?
Andy Ruffle from BMX Beat (Channel 4 show from when I were a lad) went on to create the MOBO awards.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:27, Reply)
I don't know
I'm not interested in tricks, just riding.
What sort of bike would be good for my tall fat self sort of thing
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:29, Reply)
Get a Raleigh Burner.
You'll be the envy of your school chums.

Or maybe something made within the last 25 years instead.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:32, Reply)
wow, thanks for all your help :) :) :)

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:33, Reply)
K, I'm nearer 40 than I am of 'BMX age' - I don't think I'm the best person to help you.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:36, Reply)
Gary Crowley is.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:38, Reply)
alright Monty
how are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:40, Reply)
Not bad, thank you.
And you?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:42, Reply)
Good thanks
still filled with shame but could be worse
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:44, Reply)
Regretting all that disgusting public sex now, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:46, Reply)
I didn't have any
I'm the only person in our group who hasn't slept with any of the others
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:48, Reply)
Then why the shame?
Don't make me make something up, here.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:52, Reply)
Just getting soddenly drunk
poor Al had to put up with me being angry at a security guard on the Saturday and then sitting down in the mud
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:53, Reply)
you were the first to step up though

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:39, Reply)
The first to step in with completely useless suggestions.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:42, Reply)
The first to step up? Are you Positive, K?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrPdye9WaUc
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:44, Reply)
THIS IS EXTREMELY FUNNY.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:44, Reply)
OH MAN IT REALLY IS.
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO LEVY A 'LOL TAX' AT THIS RATE.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:53, Reply)
IT'S LIKE CURE KEYBOARDIST 'LOL TOLHURST' IS UP IN THIS MUTHA.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:55, Reply)
THEY SHOULD CALL ME 'LOL FLANDERS'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:55, Reply)
OR 'LOL CAMPBELL', LOL

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:57, Reply)
OR 'LOLTER MATTHAU'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:58, Reply)
IT'S LIKE I'M HAUNTED BY A 'LOLTERGEIST'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:01, Reply)
*taps nose* one word mate - Grifter.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:34, Reply)
YOU WANT SOMEONE TO STEAL MY CONFIDENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:40, Reply)
Don't listen to him K.
Get a Raleigh Vektar, it is like a well pimped version of the Grifter.



Only the rich kids had 'em.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:45, Reply)
If you're going to post bike porn, shouldn't we wait 'til al is here?

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:45, Reply)
Best get it out of the way now whilst he's not here
- if he sees this Vektar he might well lose all nine of his remaining hairs.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:47, Reply)
It's okay. There is a mini Burner in the background.
I'm sure that'll act as a 'stabiliser' for him.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:48, Reply)
yeah back when you were a kid, you old fart

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:00, Reply)
Personally I favour the Penny Farthing brand.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:40, Reply)
it's good for (a) change

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:41, Reply)
SOMEONE ACKNOWLEDGE MY AWESOME PUN!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:54, Reply)
I'm too busy losing my mind up there ^, sorry

Don't make me call the coppers.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:00, Reply)
i noticed
it was like watching someone have a breakdown while we all look on sadly
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:00, Reply)
Do's: humiliate yourself early and often
Don'ts: fuck your sister
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:39, Reply)
still here?
still not bert?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:40, Reply)
Bert was great craic before the meltdown.
You got a better class of flouncing back in the day.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:42, Reply)
Having read his posts
He seems quite normal. For a given value of normal. By the way... how do you stop your friend's under age teenage daughter from hugging you all the time? It makes me deeply uncomfortable. She for some reason finds it hilarious.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:48, Reply)
make sure you have an obvious hard on next time
she does it
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:50, Reply)
Grab her boobs.
They hate that.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:50, Reply)
Grease yourself up in lube so she slides off.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:50, Reply)
roundhouse kick to the windpipe

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:51, Reply)
we should start an
advice column
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:51, Reply)
fuckin' a
we have a gift to share
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:56, Reply)
Shit in her cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:51, Reply)
Hold on just a bit too tight
and give her a wink. Or insist on hugging her first
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 21:52, Reply)
carry a clipboard
and as she approaches ask her if she'd mind answering a few questions
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:00, Reply)
Jonathan King lolz

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:02, Reply)
Reply to all above.
Chocolate fireguards have more use.

The weirdest is when I'm walking past a chair or something and she grabs me from behind, making me sit on her. I really need help with this!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:03, Reply)
what? You mean none of the above
helps?! shocking!

I think chcb's plan should sort it really
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:04, Reply)
I once got stuck in a hotel room because there was lube on the door handle.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:05, Reply)
How did this happen?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:07, Reply)
It was on my hand then my hand was on the door handle.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:07, Reply)
Do I want to ask the background on this?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:08, Reply)
her cunning plan to smuggle a vase out of the hotel had hit a frustrating snag

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:15, Reply)
A coil?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:16, Reply)
Just laugh it off and tell her it's not appropriate.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:05, Reply)
It hasn't worked.
I'm like some kind of anti-nonce.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:06, Reply)
Ask your daughter to act disgusted

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:06, Reply)
I don't have a daughter.
And Mum just wished me luck. Wonderful.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:07, Reply)
Have a word with your friend if it's that bad.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:08, Reply)
Another word, you mean.
I just hope this all goes away.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:09, Reply)
As long as he's aware you're not happy about it.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:11, Reply)
Both she.
Single parent family.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:13, Reply)
*how* underage?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:08, Reply)
14.
She tried to hold my hand once. I freaked. A lot.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:11, Reply)
sounds like you are the victim of teenage hormones

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:13, Reply)
Oh bugger.
I'm going to have to make her listen to Don't Stand So Close To Me.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:17, Reply)
it's time to get The Police involved

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:19, Reply)
And then she'll make you listen to "Every breath you take".

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:20, Reply)
Maybe some Gary Glitter instead?

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:20, Reply)
This whole thread and not one person has said it.
Fuck off bert
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 23:02, Reply)

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