Rupert Murdoch is not an 80 year old.
He's a vampire who needs to work on his skin-care regime. The oleaginous cunt that he is.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 16:58, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

The guy who did it got smacked in the face by Murdochs wife lol

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 16:59, Reply)

haha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Rupert Murdoch.
A man so tough, he has to hide behind his wife.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:00, Reply)

His wife won't get hit back
by a guy half her age who means it.
( Kroney, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:01, Reply)

I'd hit that.
She is quite nice looking. Then again, Murdoch's sloppy seconds.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:03, Reply)

That's some stodgy porridge to be stirring, right there.

( Kroney, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Urgh.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Oh, as if he's shagged her!
I doubt he could get the job done without the help of a scaffold. Or the pool boy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:07, Reply)

I bet you'd go for a bit of the Murdcock.
Just think, Rupert Murdoch, breathing stolen voicemails heavily into your ear, as his hand slides down your bra and gently begins to caress a nipple, as you fold into him slowly breathing "Don't stop Rupert, don't ever stop..."
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:11, Reply)

actual cringing here

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Oh, so fantasising about me and Quixote dressed as characters from an excellent but tragically short-lived sci-fi western series is fine?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:14, Reply)

yes

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Alrighty then
If fanfics appear on your FB page I shall be unimpressed, however
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:18, Reply)

ooh, there's an idea...
And I'm a dab hand with photoshop, too
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Fuck
Anyone know a good lawyer?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:22, Reply)

no

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:27, Reply)

I'll take "crap but busty"

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:32, Reply)

And then you turn around to kiss him, and unzip his trousers, exposing his grey, withered member to the world.
And you take him slowly into your mouth, attempting to coax a bit of life into his winter-stricken limb...
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:12, Reply)

*boaks*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:13, Reply)

He whispers 'Oh that's good. You're one in a millie-on'

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:15, Reply)

topicalols

( Kroney, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:15, Reply)

And as you suck on his ash-grey journalist's pen, he shudders, shouting "Freedom of the Press!"
As he uses his withered hands to finger you to orgasm.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:15, Reply)

And slowly, as you both undress, he picks you up, and puts you on the bed.
As you look up, you notice for the first time, the mirrored ceiling, allowing you to see every wrinkle of his sagging, fat backside. And then he enters you, moving slowly at first, but increasing in rhythm, finishing about two minutes later, collapsing on top of you, whispering in your ear your earlier promise of not selling your story to the Daily Mirror.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:18, Reply)

You have put WAY too much thought into this.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:19, Reply)

I could go on, if you like?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:21, Reply)

I'd *really* appreciate it if you didn't.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:22, Reply)

I could throw in Rebekah Brooks if you like, for a bit of three-way fanfic action.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:22, Reply)

*grabs popcorn*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:23, Reply)

I think this needs a new thread.
Actually, I'll do that now and leave you lot to it, as I'm off home in five minutes.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:24, Reply)

I'll stretch to shagging a pensioner
but a ginger is just WRONG.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:24, Reply)

Y'see?
I was bloody right! You WOULD shag Murdoch!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Not Murdoch.
Just my husband.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:32, Reply)

It's official
You've spent too much time on here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:19, Reply)

Perhaps.
It passes the time though. I was giggling my arse off typing that out, if I'm honest.

Old people sex- it's fucking gross.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:20, Reply)

except when you're old

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:21, Reply)

True, I suppose all the added wrinkles gives you a lot more choice, come to think of it.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 17:23, Reply)