My mum has a fantastic attitude to sex.
Her 'first time' advice to me was "The first time you see it, don't laugh. They don't like that."

Recently she has claimed she's "rather have a bar of chocolate."

So I don't rate your chances.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 11:24, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Kroney could be in there though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

a la Marianne Faithfull?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)

A chocolate Jagger's spam dagger

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I'm guessing 'no'

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

My ma said she likes aeroplanes because take off "is like an orgasm".
Then she said "don't tell your dad".
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Your mum likes a full-sized Toblerone up her ‘Jack and Danny’?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Ribbed for her pleasure

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Ridged for her agony.
Toblerone, the masochist's dildo.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

pretty sure when you start melting it it wouldn't be so bad

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 12:15, Reply)

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1303392
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)