Dear god
Please send me a nice young man to perform unspeakable sexual acts on me while telling me that Jesus loves me.

kthnxbai
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:01, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hellooooo

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:02, Reply)

You do better
not asking imaginary beardy skywizards for that kind of thing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Dear b3ta
Please send me a nice young man etc etc.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:03, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1305308
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:05, Reply)

haha, obvious mindpiss is obvious.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Okay
So, these unspeakable things...

Speak of them.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:06, Reply)

How are you on reverse Dutch steamboats?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:08, Reply)

I should probably be glad that I don't know what that is.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:10, Reply)

It's not actually anywhere near as bad as it sounds.
Essentially, it's shouting right-wing propaganda during anal sex, despite being left wing. I just think it's a brilliant name.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Fancy a Superman?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:09, Reply)

I've obviously had a very sheltered life...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:10, Reply)

try a Spiderman...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:12, Reply)

Ooh, now I know that one.
*feels a bit less square*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:12, Reply)

"go web go!"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:13, Reply)

How about a monkeyface?
I must admit, of all the oddly named sexual acts, I've only done one of them - The Eiffel Tower.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Oh come on
it's pretty difficult to go through life without at least one accidental angry dragon.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:17, Reply)

I've never done the most important part of that
Since one horrific incident scarred me for life (literally)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Nope, don't know any of these either.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:22, Reply)

The Eiffel Tower occurs when two guys who are spitroasting a girl high-five.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:25, Reply)

hmmmm.....

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:28, Reply)

The only one you need watch out for, as a woman
is the Angry Pirate.

Men actually win prizes for managing to pull off one of those.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Haha.
I've always liked the idea of 'the rodeo'. In the doggy position, reach down and hold her shoulders where they are, before moaning someone elses name, and see how long you can hold on for.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Haha
as a gender, we really are despicable.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:22, Reply)

It's great fun, isn't it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:25, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1305308
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Craigslist is probably quicker
if a little more murder-y
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:04, Reply)

"Kneel before me child and prepare to receive a faceful of absolution"
"Pop those titties out in the name of the Jesus"
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:06, Reply)

"she was left with a face like the inside wall of a priest's confessional"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Hahaha nice

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:10, Reply)

"Face like a plasterers radio"
is my favourite
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:10, Reply)

well, that was what I was adapting from.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:16, Reply)