In all seriousness I believe The Sweeney to be one of the best television programmes ever.
It was unremittingly grim and watching it really transports me back to the 70s.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:35, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It hasn't aged well though.
The Professionals on the other hand.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:36, Reply)

I disagree.
I was watching it the other day and thought it was great. As is the Professionals.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:37, Reply)

How many times has a copper said to you "Get yer trahsers on, you're nicked!"?
3 times for me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Twice today already.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Good skills!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:47, Reply)

PS I was told that your mum is a 'Professional'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:41, Reply)

I'd heard she doesn't mess about.
Reasonable rates too.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I heard she could suck a golf ball through a hose
and that she has a gash like a pink rugby sock.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Good film quote there Monty
*awestruck by your degree of being into film*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:52, Reply)

She can suck the chrome off a bumper
and her gash is more like a freshly dug sod.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:52, Reply)

I heard she has a flange like a bag of giblets
and that it smells like Portsmouth at low tide.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:00, Reply)

*sobs*
Smells like a Hampshire town? How very DARE you?

I have it on good authority that only the worst sort of cunts come from Hampshire towns.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:03, Reply)

We Hampshire types actually regard Portsmouth as part of France.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Bien sur.
Ce n'est pas le ballon du chien!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Errr, La Rochelle. Cahier. Vichy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:10, Reply)

This isn't a dog balloon?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Erm. Yeah?
This is a derivative Portsmouth French.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Je ne comprend pas

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Moi aussi.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:26, Reply)

You're Australian?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:27, Reply)

You're Australian!?!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Just beat you to it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Judging by the Spinnaker Tower, they are trying to sail it back there

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:10, Reply)

GOOD NEWS MONTY
They're making a film of The Sweeney. I know you'll like this because you're into film. And you will LOVE who they've cast in it. See if you can guess. Hint: they were looking to cast a grumpy, hard-case Cockernay.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Is it Ray "The Daddy" Winston?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Nah, it's 'Jedward'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:54, Reply)

My first choice.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:55, Reply)

Spot on, sir
His partner will be played by Plan B. Very brave move, making one half of the Sweeney a bender.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Plan B?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:05, Reply)

The rapper-turned-crooner
or whatever he calls himself. He's a pop star, basically. He was in Harry Brown. He looks like a complete thug which is a start. Unless he shaves, in which case he looks about 5
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:11, Reply)

I found him to be entirely believable in Harry Brown.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I must admit I've not seen it
Seemed a bit too "Geriatric Carter" at first glance. As such my initial disdain at the idea of Plan B being cast in The Sweeney is purely of the "fucking pop stars thinking they can act" variety.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I think he's better at acting than he is at music.
Mind you, Helen Keller is better than him at music.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Helen Keller references should be brought back.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:26, Reply)

I heartily endorse this statement
I don't see why Hawking should have dominion on the mong jokes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)

I know, right?
I am going to call his wife and get her to slap him about for a bit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Deacon's been hogging the limelight for too long.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Deacon was in something of a lull until his recent internet renaissance
as endorsed by one M. Boyce of this parish. Dashed decent of you to encourage equality amongst other notable mongs
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Oh wicked!
'Nic' Cage is going to be simply brilliant as 'guv'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:54, Reply)