I've missed this whole David Starkey thing
Could someone give me the abridged version please?

I can assure you I'm about as far from black as is conceivable, after several months of running in the sunshine wearing a sleeveless top my arms are still positively vampiric.

Anyone who replies "sparkly?" will be deemed Gay For Life.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:03, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

you're a gay vampire

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:05, Reply)

A 'campire', if you will.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:06, Reply)

you know, I believe I will.
that's an excellent term you have coined there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:07, Reply)

This is very good
I would make it my sig but I fear I would be subjected to various jokes about farting a la Blazing Saddles
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)

the thought wouldn't have crossed my mind.
partly because I strongly dislike Blazing Saddles
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Fool.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:10, Reply)

"being Jewish" is not in itself funny.
(Woody Allen also take note)

Everyone is aware that beans have been known to lead to farting, this is not particularly funny. Dragging it out interminably is especially not funny.

etc.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:21, Reply)

However an old biddy saying 'up yours nigger' and giving 'the finger' is hilarious.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)

meh
it it weren't an old American biddy possibly.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:24, Reply)

As is "where the white women at?"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)

I am spectacularly not a fan of Mel Brooks
but am aware of that scene's enduring popularity. Because I'm into film, you see.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Mel Brooks is a fucking cunt
but there are a few bits in Blazing Saddles that are pretty funny.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Agreed
There is, however, nothing to redeem High Anxiety whatsoever. And let's not get started on Life Stinks, Robin Hood: Men In Tights or *shudder* Dracula: Dead and Loving It
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Dr Starkey
said on Newsnight (vis a vis the riots) that white people were becoming like black people.

More than inferring that black people loot and rob. There were 700 complaints.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:06, Reply)

I heard that he was attempting to explain himself, but kept getting shouted down?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:07, Reply)

His point wasn't that,
his point was that the problem was with a culture of violence that has been imported from the outside world.
What he has forgotten is that we quite liked a riot before we ever saw a black person.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough
Cheers for that, I'd only really heard half of it, and wasn't certain.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:18, Reply)

it seems like a pretty
stupid thing to say
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Ooooooooooh dear
Surely a well-educated man with experience of being on camera and working in the media should be less recklessly idiotic?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Maybe AIDS has driven him insane?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Is he actually Mercury'd up?
Or is this a riff on his ferocious homosexuality?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)

The latter.
I am suggesting that all benders have AIDS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Fair play.
*picks at lesions*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:34, Reply)

inferring implying

I'm a pedantic tool over that one.
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:11, Reply)

The number of times I've been pulled up on that
you'd think I'd look up the difference
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:14, Reply)

You infer, they imply
You infer, they imply
YOU INFER, THEY IMPLY!

What does someone else infer? You don't know, unless you can read their mind.
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Riiiiiiiiiiiight
I'm off to start an argument with Bella. Thank you for clarifying, Mr Price
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I should qualify that by saying
That when you say something the rules are obviously reversed: you imply and they infer.

I think you'll be able to start an argument with Millie Tant by implying men aren't all potential rapists.
( djtrialprice, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)

She knows me too well than to be baited by such a broad statement unfortunately
Your elaboration has fried my brain. Luckily coffee has just been delivered. I have a conference call in a minute which will be interminably dull, please tell funny stories.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Tell her that her gash reeks of doner meat and pakoras.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:35, Reply)

*makes notes*
Doner meat... pakoras... Cheers Monts. Girls like that sort of thing, right?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Definitely.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Is that like a bag for life?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:26, Reply)