I've always wanted to have sex with a prostitute.
How did you know?
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:02, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I might have let it slip.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)

Well at least it's now in the open.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:10, Reply)

Open.
Like a fresh gash.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:11, Reply)

Ew!
Why did I marry you again?
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:11, Reply)

At the time, I was the best/cheapest/most convenient/furthest away option.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:12, Reply)

I thought it was for the lols.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:13, Reply)

I was running out of room in the message title bar to add 'shit n giggles'
*Takes pride in the fact that I was funny enough for two*

*Appreciates that this might not be exactly what you mean*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)

You'd be surprised what you could fit in the message bar, like if you thought about it you really could fit in the time your mum went on that cruise and found that guy who was really into juggling and playing the ukulele and who knew something about finge

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:28, Reply)

Cavy isn't Jeff's mum

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:36, Reply)

She did gaz me out of concern for my bad back.
And that's quite a mumsy thing to do. It made me feel a bit better.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:38, Reply)

Tell me what it's like if you do
I'm curious, but will never do it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:10, Reply)

Well I imagine it's like sex with a normal woman but this time you know that she's definetly pretending to enjoy it.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:12, Reply)

The idea of paying for sex makes me feel ill.
We did hire one in at a Travel Lodge in Kings Cross once, but we just made her do squat thrusts for half hour.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:14, Reply)

WTF!
She could at least have made you a cup of tea and tidied up.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

I think it was eighty quid.
There was ten of us in the hotel room so it was less than a tenner each, and we were all absolutely fucked at the time. I remember thinking I was going to burst from laughing so much.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:20, Reply)

This is quite possibly the funniest thing you've EVER posted on here Barry.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:25, Reply)

Everything I do, I do it for you.
I've had a number of altercations with brasses now I think about it. None sexual, mostly all farcical.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)

This makes me all the more determined to meet the Nigerian Whites.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:32, Reply)

By the way I found out tonight if we get through this last European qualifier and into the group stage.
Our game against QPR on Oct 1st is 99% going to be moved to the Sunday.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:39, Reply)

Once it's confirmed, I might see if I can change my train ticket.
At the moment, a 3pm Saturday (or a Sunday) won't be possible. Well, it would be. But I bought povvo-tickets cos it was only twenty-sheets for a return, but I might be able to punt those out and get a new ticket for one of the legs of the journey.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:41, Reply)

What the fuck?
You rented the bastard son of Brian Jacks*!!!

Brilliant.

*Expects Barry to be too young to realise what a brilliantly funny comment that is.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:18, Reply)

mad Lizzie from TVam has fallen on hard times

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Oh, I always know that

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:14, Reply)