Also............found this on links.
NSFW and funny as fuck.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF83IwhC4ZE
( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:18, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

And the man responsible for voicing it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3heF6wjyTCg
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)

that's creepy
wouldn't that be off putting?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Yeah - thanks
I found that rather disturbing in a fat inadequate man way.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)

Yes on a vibrator but no if said by a significant other.

( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Bollocks
Do you want a significant other to recite a cheapo porn film script to you, sounding like they've had a tracheaoctomy?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Well Ok not all of it but some feedback is nice mid coitus.

( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)

Yes it is
And it's a two way street.

But it should fit the moment.

That's what I think - if you disagree I'll just type out a script and staple it to the headboard to read it next time round.

EDIT - That sounds wrong. Not, when I say next time round, with BGB. Or at any time. I'm far too short. What a mess.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:32, Reply)

Hahahaha!
Hello, nice to have you in bed with me. Please read from the script above the bed while we fornicate if you'd be so kind.
( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:48, Reply)

it'd be like shagging
in a call centre
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)

*Adopts Indian accent*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:52, Reply)

Is this good?
Please answer:-

A - Yes

B - Average

C - Poor
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:54, Reply)

You'd have to adopt some sort of bookmarking systems.
Just in case your partner finishes before he gets to the end.

Talking of 'the end' rather than finishing you missive with 'The End.' You could sign off with, 'Fag, Fart and Sleep'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)

seriously
that's a lot of talking
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)

See above.

( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)

I'm not so sure
talking just makes it all seem ridiculous
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)

You're referring to the talking toy here, yes?

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)

This is the best thing I've ever seen.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Even better than a prostitute doing squat thrusts?

( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)

We could have used this and combined the two.
It would have been the ultimate comedy sex experience.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)

*Thinks of pitching to Dragons' Den one that does regional accents.*
'Yer love, when you've done with putting this gurt toy up your vadge, make I some chips' - Would be my suggested Bristolian one.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)