My mum said she'd kick me out of the house if I ever got a tattoo.
First thing I did when I turned 18? Went and got a tattoo. Did she kick me out? Did she fuck. Then went and got a half sleeve of skulls and she still didn't kick me out. So by my reconing you're parents aren't really gonna care that you have a tattoo
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:21, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Plus he's about 25 and doesn't live at home and is about to get married.
Basically he's being a big gay weedy coward.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)

30
it was mainly the first alt I could think of
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

My parents don't know I've got a tattoo either
It wouldn't do any good whatsoever to tell them and there's very little chance they'll ever see it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:27, Reply)

I think my parents noticed when I came back from a run in a sleeveless vest
the conversation went "is that a tattoo?" "yes, mum" "Oh, OK"

remarkable. I bet you're all on the edge of your seats.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:30, Reply)

*falls off seat*
Nothing to do with you, I'm just a mong
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Cool story bro

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:36, Reply)

this is the problem with telling the truth
it's dull. I should have just HONDA ACCORDED the fuck out of it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:37, Reply)

You should take a leaf out of Noel's book
and make up some ridiculous bullshit about how you always eat fried eggs with chilli flakes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:44, Reply)

PS aren't all vests by definition sleeveless?
Isn't sleevelessness one of the basic tenets of vestitude?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:37, Reply)

fair point there Monters.
Should have said sleevless T-shirt I suppose. Poor form.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I had three sleeveless tops nicked off our washing line on Sunday night
They left the really nice purple shirt I wore on TWL. Tasteless bastards.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Seized by the fashion police.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Are they a subdivision of those Comedy Police wankers you wouldn't shut up about last week?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Knock Knock

(PsychoChomp, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I'm not sure we can be friends now.
You've ruined everything, and all for a poorly-thought-out throwaway vest quip. Was it really worth it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Do you know, I'm just not sure?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:46, Reply)

top "fuck you I won't tidy my bedroom" work, right there.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T SHE HANG OUT MY CLOTHES
SHITTY MUM
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:25, Reply)

I had a late teenage rebellion
So I didn't do anything until she technically couldn't stop me. I drunk underage once. God, I was such a rebel
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

you did, basically, post that as if your prime reason for getting a tattoo
was to rebel against your mum, but waited until the act of rebellion was meaningless as you were already an adult. That does make you sound like a bit of a tool.

Try getting tattoos when drunk instead, that's a much better approach.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:28, Reply)

the fact that it was an I heart mum tattoo probably helped to smooth things over

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Nah, I love tattoos
I didn't do it to spite my mum. That would be foolish as I have to live with them on my skin for the rest of my life.

Saying that I did let an apprentice mate do one of the ones on my leg for free. So maybe I am a bit of a tool
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Was it the Trivium one?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Did you get the tattoo as an act of rebellion against your mother?
She probably anticipated that you'd do so, which is why she forbade it. I bet your Mum loves men with tattoos and wanted one around her at all times.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)

She's got a massive tattoo of a gammon on her arse.

Put me right off my stroke.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:25, Reply)

That's not where it would have most ample opportunity for wetness though
Maybe Joey Deacon could get ham tattooed on his chin
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

She's got a massive "W" tattoo'd on each cheek
so when you pull out of her arse it says "WOW"

/have definitely used this one before here
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Are you suggesting that the gateway to Azaroth begins in Wet Ham Man's mum's bum?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:28, Reply)

The dark portal.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I'm going to bully you two unless you stop nerding out.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:34, Reply)

HELP I NEED A GAME MASTER!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:36, Reply)

In my defence
I've never played WoW, I only know it takes place in Azaroth because it was mentioned on The Big Bang Theory last week...

...this isn't any better, is it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)

No.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Fine, bully me
Do let me know when you've started, or I might not be able to tell, and I wouldn't want your efforts to go unappreciated.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I'm doing it now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

*cries to Mummy*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:49, Reply)

maybe so, DF. maybe so.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:34, Reply)

That's not going to cut it, TMB.
I need you to investigate.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Haha, when you're 60, that's going to look fucking horrible.
Gutted.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)