I lost my return ticket on a day trip to Calais. Paid £16
return to Calais from Charing Cross.

Whilst having a slap up feed of frog's legs and horsemeat I left the tickets (me and a pal) sur la table dans le restaurant.

Got back to the ferry terminal and the French cunts wanted £40 each to get back to Blighty despite me still having my passport and valid booking. Whilst remonstrating with the cunt behind the counter the French filth turned up with barkingvisciousdogs and threatened to jail me. I paid the £40.

Went back 6 weeks later on the same deal and lost the tickets again whilst pissed in a bar.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:01, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Next time I suggest you let your travelling companion look after the tickets.
Because you appear to be a fucking liability.
( Kroney, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:02, Reply)

liability bender
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Yeah, my mate made me pay his £40 the second time.
Which is fare enough.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I nearly missed that dreadful pun
I'm calling Noel back so that he can leave because of you. Or summat.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:12, Reply)

I know, it's shit isn't it?
Bit more subtle than Noel though.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Tu est un imbecile, monsieur.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Etienne, le cretin

( Kroney, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:05, Reply)

But..but..I've got a booking. You can see that,
I can see my name on the screen. I have a fucking passport. WHY is it going to cost 400 Francs.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

It's a Berk Tax.

( Kroney, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Well I wished they'd asked me to pay it when I booked.
Instead of when I was full of Kronenburg.

*shame*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Kourtney & Khloe Take Umami

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Hey TTF! How's it going?
I was just thinking about you after that dreadful pun above.

Do one about bread and one about 70's sweets?

Go on!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Some Mother's Pride do have 'em

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Recycled from the other day.
I want a new one.

Go on. It's fucking brilliant!!!!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:22, Reply)

CaraMac & C.H.E.E.S.E.

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:22, Reply)

*squeals*
That's great!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

The Mintstones

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Murray Mintstones would be better.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Ah yes! you're the one who falls asleep on the train a lot too.

( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:22, Reply)

It has been known. :-)

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 12:25, Reply)