Morning you glorious bastards
Let's talk about anything other than football. The only football-related topic I'm prepared to engage in is imaginative ways for Steve McLaren to die.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:39, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You just talked about football.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Gosh darn it, you got me
Monters. This possible drinks thing I proposed for the 9th. Am considering getting into London for 4 instead of 6 to allow for more beer time, but obviously will feel like a fucking plum if I do so and no-one can make it. In theory, would you be up for a few pints?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Undoubtedly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Excellent news
Apart from rather looking forward to meet you, I don't want to get into London three hours before the gig with no drinking buddies. Do you think you can cope with three hours of mine and CQ's company without "turning"?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:52, Reply)

I could go on a world tour with Marc Almond and Bronski Beat
and even that couldn't bent me up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Challenge accepted!
*rolls up sleeves*

rolls lubes
sleeves (left blank for your suggestion)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:59, Reply)

cat?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Why do you ALWAYS have to take it too far?!
Good result against the local shower on Monday night
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Indeed
I have devised a cunning plan for McClaren and Bruce. I'm going to kill both of them by having McClaren hold his brolly up then I'll drop Bruce on him from a great height. This should get rid of both of them
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I'm in
*invests in Steve Bruce-proof crane*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:13, Reply)

This may require more money than I'd originally thought

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)

If it makes McLaren die horribly I'll lift the cunt myself
Or find the means to... if only I knew several muscular, oiled-up men...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:27, Reply)

How about the fact that yet another teacher has been done for 'inappropriate actions', and it's made it it trial?
Only for the case to be very quickly closed, he (like so many others) has been found not guilty, yet I very much doubt that those who levelled charges against him will be charged.

I fucking hate kids these days.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:43, Reply)

Yeah, the little bastards - we should set the nonces on them
That'd teach them a lesson
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:44, Reply)

Well, if they're shown to be lying, can't they be done for perjury?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:45, Reply)

perjury would be lying under oath in court
they could be done for wasting police time, however.

I know that these cases are fucking annoying when they happen, but you do know it's very rare, right? and that it's just the Daily Fail stirring shit generally?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:47, Reply)

Damn those sexy, sexy kids.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:48, Reply)

I meant kids making shit up about teachers
but, yeah, that too.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Aye, I know it's rare, but I personally know one person who was put through it (although it turned out later to be half true, but it hadn't started until after she'd left school)
Then, there was a young teacher at my old school who has now decided she doesn't want to teach anymore, after having accusations that she slept with a pupil levelled against her. That one also made it all the way to court, before she was found not guilty. Again, the kid came away without punishment.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:50, Reply)

I put it to you that you simply know a higher proportion of kiddie fiddlers than normal.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)

I thought it was ok for female teachers to sleep with their pupils?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:56, Reply)

not really, no.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Still... phwoar, eh? Phwoar...
Wish she were MY teacher... etc.

No?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Most of my female teachers
could have given an instaflop to a viagra'd teenage internerd. So, I'm afraid this is a wankzone I missed out on.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Same here
All were at least the age of my parents.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:03, Reply)

It could have been worse.
My mum got to the last two for a physics teacher post at my school, but lost out because the other candidate could also teach archery, thank fuck. Trufax - she ended up teaching at my brother's school instead...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:08, Reply)

My Mum taught at my Primary School
That was shit.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:09, Reply)

My Mum taught at my SECONDARY school
Taught my class, in fact. Every time she gave a kid detention they threatened to beat me up unless I got her to revoke it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Oof, that's not good
Luckily, I was never allowed to be taught by her, but if I didn't behave, I wasn't given a chance before they told my Mum, unlike the other kids.

Lucky fuckers
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Presumably this explains why you went off the rails so spectacularly when you turned 11

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Nah, I went 'off the rails' in year 10, when I was 14
Just stopped caring about academia.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)

I bet you were all over the glue like a cheap suit

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:28, Reply)

In all seriousness
Yes, things like that are an issue, but I think there are bigger problems in general ill-discipline and violence towards teachers than isolated occurences like this.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:57, Reply)

I agree, very much so.
My problem is that all the teachers seem to be guilty until proven innocent, most will lose their jobs, regardless of the outcome, and the kids who levelled the accusations are never punished.

I am of the opinion that harsher punishments in school would be a good idea too.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:00, Reply)

So is anyone accused of any form of rape or sexual assult*.
why should teachers be treated any differently?

*not that I think this is right, either, but it's how it is.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:02, Reply)

The people in question can often move elsewhere, and start again
Due to the teaching profession, they generally can't, as you'll get fucking idiots complaining if they're hired elsewhere.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Ok, sorry, badly phrased
Assume the person is a teacher, regardless. If they are accused of a sexual offence outside school not involving a pupil they will be named and their career ended. So why should it be different if it invovles a pupil?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:05, Reply)

You make a very good point here, and if I didn't have what appears to be a gargantuan hangover sneaking up on me, I'd continue this discussion
However, thinking is hurting my head, so I'll leave this, for now.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:08, Reply)

no worries
I would point out that as far as I'm concerned, you're entirely correct, it's a fucking disgrace, but I'm just pointing out why that disgrace is at least equal across all scenarios. If that makes sense.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:11, Reply)

It does make sense, very much so.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:16, Reply)

There's not much to do in Macclesfield

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:57, Reply)

One from Nottingham, one in Crosby.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:58, Reply)

I assume the Nottingham one is dashing, handsome and charming, but with poor taste?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:59, Reply)

No
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:00, Reply)

He's not from Nottingham, he's nowhere near good-looking enough
He's just claiming it for the glamour
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:02, Reply)

I met most of them on here.
Nah, the one I know is a friend of my boss who used to work here, the other is simply because I used to go to that school.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:58, Reply)

I think the way it usually works is we still are suspicious of the poor bastard involved
Doesn't matter if they're proven innocent in a court of law, we can still suck in air between our teeth and mutter something about "no smoke without fire", then hound them out of town.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:48, Reply)

I really hate that fact, it's ridiculous how the papers report the cases, guilty until proven innocent
The one that springs to mind here is mostly Chris Jefferies.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb, I say.
If I was a primary school teacher I'd shag the fucking lot of 'em.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:47, Reply)

What's the best thing about sleeping with twenty four year olds....?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Well, unless they did anything stupid diet-wise in their teens
they're usually in possession of great bodies, still pretty lithe, little or no sagging, they've had enough experience to be comfortable and experimental sexually but haven't usually be driven to cynicsim by a succession of inept partners .... wait, I'm not doing this right, am I?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:53, Reply)

No, it's fine, keep going...
I'm nearly there.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)

.......there's twenty of them!

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:55, Reply)

The BBC live text thing broke out a 'brolly' graphic in his honour last night
I say stick a brolly full of bees up his arse, open it and hang it from a tree. Or sack him and see if 'Jossy' (of Giants fame) is available.

EDIT: How are you doing in the B3ta fantasy football league? (if indeed you joined the B3ta fantasy football league) I'm up to the dizzy heights of 18th.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:53, Reply)

God that programme was dire.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:01, Reply)

51st :-(

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:02, Reply)

Oh dear, still..
at the end of the day it's a game of two halves and it's still early doors.

/footyclichegenerator

Darth's keeping quiet, he must be emulating his team at the moment.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:11, Reply)