Within a year of moving in here, I'd burnt down the kitchen. That was fun.
The first thing I'd rescue, assuming my boys had made it it out safe themselves, would be my big box of photographs. Or my laptop. But probably the photographs.
Of course, in doing that, I'd most likely fall down the stairs and die a horrible burny death, but there you go.

Alt: that stupid Spanish song, now. A couple of years ago I was at a primary school that was rehearsing for Oliver, so I had those songs in my head for about a million years
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:27, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

How did you burn down the kitchen b3th?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Would you belive
by making an omelette?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

No
Was it a petrol omelette?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

It was mr b3th's fault
He told me that the best way to make an omelette is to make the oil smoking hot first. So I was waiting for the oil to get hot enough when he phoned the house. I dashed off to the study to get the phone, then got sidetracked and forgot the cooker was on.

That was the day we found out you can't get eye level grills on electric cookers anymore. I was severely in the dog house.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Oil?
Use melted butter!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Yes you can
I googled Eye Level Electric Grill and loads came up
( Peej, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:41, Reply)

You can get them fitted, but not freestanding.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Really what were all those freestanding ones doing on the internet?
Damn them! like THIS one! It's an internet lie!
( Peej, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Do they make them again now?
Bastards. Bit late now, it's not like we can afford to replace the one we've got.

Also, don't be sarcastic. It doesn't become you.
/mother
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)

You aren't my real mum!
You can't tell me what to do!
( Peej, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

YES I AM!
/Kat Slater blog
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Saw mr b3th's legs off and get a lower one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I barely need to. He's already a shortarse, and seems to be shrinking too.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Did you get a replacement cooker from the fisher price range?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:41, Reply)

You can't make an omelette...
without starting fires. Or something.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:40, Reply)

My primary school did Oliver Twist
it's weird that I can remember so many of the songs
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:49, Reply)

You've got to pick a pocket or two

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I was Oliver in my school's production.
Don't ask...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

DADT has been abolished in America now
so give us the details.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 11:02, Reply)