All my jokes are terrible
But yesterday I had a hysterical laughing fit. My wife phoned me in floods of tears. When I asked her what happened I was expecting her to tell my that a relative had died or something tragic so when she told me between sobs that she was walking down the stairs and my three year old had lobbed an unused bar of soap down the stairs at her and smacked her in the back of the head I did what every normal person would do and laughed my ass off. When I got home and she was all cross I thought I could make it all better by reminding her the she once threw a hardback book at me as I was walking down the stairs after a row and that its just like mother like daughter. It didn't work.
( Peej, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:46, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:49, Reply)

This just reminds me of Vipros hitting himself in the face with a book
And as a result, I am now also lolling quite heartily.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:50, Reply)

An ex-colleague of mine used to pull the phone away from your head whilst you were using it
Your natural instinct is to pull it back, at which point he left go and you smacked yourself on the side of the head with it, while still trying to keep a straight face and talk to the customer.

The cunt
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:52, Reply)

That's quite amusing
in a 'but I'd be annoyed if someone did it to me' way.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:59, Reply)

It is very funny to watch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 13:03, Reply)

I used to convince people that by attaching a paper clip to a rubber band, you could make it go far further
However, I'd discovered (painfully) that you couldn't fire it from your thumb if you did this, as it'd usually rocket quite hard straight into your nail. It seems that I wasn't the only one who hadn't considered this could happen, as everyone I suggested this to ended up with very sore fingers.

Very funny to watch, very painful to have it happen to you.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Haha
Once at work, I'd been using the mouse at someone else's desk, and not paying a huge amount of attention. As I stood up to walk away from the desk, the phone rang, and no-one was available to answer it. So, I walked swiftly back, and picked the phone up.

What I hadn't realised is that I'd laid the mouse wire over the phone cable, so when I picked the phone up in a hurry, the mouse took off, nearly hitting me in the face. The next 10 seconds were some of the most difficult of my life, as I tried desperately not to laugh as I put the customer through.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Sorry but your wife doesn't seem to have a sense of humour.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 13:03, Reply)