I just wear a kilt and a dark Argyle jacket to black tie stuff.
bouncer/waiter problem removed.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:43, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

er
since when did a kilt solve the problem of things bouncing around?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Kilts are GAY
Everyone looks a cunt in one
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I have to disagree.
And a disproportionally high percentage of ladies get all flustered over them, so you're missing out there.

If you don't want a kicking though, it helps to have enough Scottish heritage to justify it. Even if it is all 18th century made-up arse.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

I was going to say
surely being an Englishmen living in Scotland, wouldn't wearing a kilt make you something of a target for belligerent, inferiority-complex fuelled ire?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:53, Reply)

My mother's family is Scottish
And I'm "entitled"* to wear MacDonald so, no, not really. I mean, I'd not try it in the wrong part of West Lothian, but mostly it's OK.

*in so far, as I said, as anyone is or isn't entitled to wear some colour of cloth based upon a made-up thing 250 years ago.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

It does seem an awfully odd thing to get annoyed about
That said, I was at a wedding last year where the one chap who'd turned up in a kilt was enduring endless brickbats for doing so. Attempting to explain himself in the most cut-glass English accent in Norfolk was doing him no favours.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

"because it legally gives me the right to carry a fairly tasty fucking knife, old boy"
usually works for me.

Although there's no edge on the blade of my sgian, but they don't know that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:04, Reply)

That's what Ballroom needs;
taunt-preventative knife crime
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:07, Reply)

"and what do you call this one?"
"oh, this is the switchblade Tango"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I like this

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:11, Reply)

This, a bit
although it's boys in waistcoats and/or suits that do it more for me. You have to have the right kind of legs for a kilt otherwise it looks lame.
That said, you have to have the right kind of physique for a waistcoat, I suppose, otherwise you look like a bank manager...
(berk, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Wasitcoats? Tailsuits?
There's a Ballroom competition in Birmingham on the 13th that you should check out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Pretty much everyone looks a fucking tool in tails.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

There's a video of me on Friday night says categorically otherwise
If I may offer a compromise; "everyone looks a tool in tails unless performing a strikingly impressive Ballroom dance"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

hmmm.
hmmmm. I might also allow "...and when caught by a brief gust of wind which makes it look like they've just released the underpant equivalent of hurricane katrina"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

well, let's see it, then

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Should be on YouTube soon
Links will not be posted on b3ta, but I'll make sure you and certain select others* get it darling.

*Probably just you if I'm honest
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)

*feels special*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)

just google
"stupendous quenderism" and that should get you there.

only joking darth. I'd probably be mildly interested to see it. Need to maintain the illusion of benderism to keep Swipey off the scent, of course.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I'll see how unkind I'm feeling once the video goes up
As long as you can promise me you won't spend the whole time ogling the missus

EDIT: Hang about - you're proposing to throw Sipey off the scent by pretending to be a bender? Didn't work for the last chap
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:08, Reply)

A good suit can make most people look A LOT better

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Well, obviously
you can't polish a turd but you can cover it in glitter
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

it doesn't.
it does, however, prevent you looking like a bouncer, but of course you knew that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:49, Reply)

ME?
i am batting my eyelashes in total outrage at whatever you are implying.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)