Alt:
I've been offered a FREE HOLIDAY to Iceland to see the Northern Lights. How about that, you fucking cunts?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:42, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You cunt. Give that holiday to ME.
NOW.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Sure*



*no.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:44, Reply)

This is a tale of outstanding cuntishness in it''s own right.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:47, Reply)

You can get a 3 day break package from icelandair
for about £300, which includes flights, hotel and a day trip. Good value. Iceland's not nearly as expensive as you'd think, either.
(berk, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:50, Reply)

not any more, no
not since we fucked their currency into a cocked hat.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:50, Reply)

We looked into this last night.
Using my 'pint of beer and pack of fags index' it seems prices are about the same as London.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Yes, that's about right actually
booze is bloody expensive though so make sure you buy some in the duty free on the way out.
(berk, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Noted. Ta.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I will look in to this. Thanks.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Boo-hooing and woe-is-me-ing are VERBOTEN

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:50, Reply)

I went on one of those, city break to Reykjavik is it?
the northern lights didn't come out to play when I went, sadly, although the blue lagoon is a truly incredible experience.

In answer to your original question, some besuited and suitcased cunt shoved me as I was getting on to the train the other day, causing me to fall over and smash my knees in to my bike. He then tutted at me and stepped over my bruised and bleeding carcass. Instead of screaming abuse at the inconsiderate fucker I silently wished a slow and poxridden death upon him. The curse of being British...
(berk, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Being a well-mannered Englishperson will always be to your credit.
Particularly in these dark times, when most Englishpersons no longer have this attribute.

Fie, I say - fie.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Nobody offered to help me up, either
Commuting appears to turn people in to total cunts.
(berk, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Some of us are already cunts. Just saying, like.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Of course.
This is why the South-East of England, despite it's obvious attractions in some ways, is somewhere I will never live again.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Wimp.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I know man.
I'm such a coward for living in a beautiful city with no serious overcrowding, no major traffic problems and an exponentially lower level of cunts than London.

It shames me, CQ. Shames me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:59, Reply)

It's OK badge, lot's of people can't hack it
Enjoy whatever sub-London conurbation you have chosen and pretend there's not a reason everyone want's to live here.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:02, Reply)

it's cos you're all sub-deviant masochists
actually, I reckon you'll find it's mostly "cos that's where the jobs are" rather than it being any direct personal choice.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Some of this
also some of that's where all sorts of other stuff is. I was just making the point that the problems you mention are caused by lots of people wanting/choosing to live here. I mean there are jobs in other places, OK they pay less, but property is way cheaper too, there's only a few people, like me and Monty, who work in London-centred industries, and I could find work in Slough or maybe Bristol, but frankly I'd rather die.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

British English

I would, and have, screamed abuse at any fucker who done that sort of thing.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:57, Reply)

They'll never take your freedom.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:58, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7312128
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Are you from one of the colonies then?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Bongo-bongo land, I think.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I'm a scotch.
HOOTS MON!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Yay!
That makes 3, depending on what you count as scotch. Dozer is proper scotch and I'm scotch the way a lot of Americans are Irish.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:04, Reply)

I just about qualify to play for the Scottish football team
but I'd never say I was Scottish. Especially not whilst in Scotland. Or to a Scot.
( Kroney, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:05, Reply)

But would you want to?
2 minutes into this world cup qualifying campaign and already Scotland are eliminated, what do you make of that Archie?
Well, it's certainly a big improvement on last time.....
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Well, I wouldn't be any worse than any of the other players.
And I don't have any legs.
( Kroney, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Probably an improvement in all honesty.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Yeah, how much is that then?
I reckon I'm 1/8th, but I also have the surname, and a scotch spelt first name so that should be worth something.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Grandparents.
From Goven. So I'm dead classy, too.
( Kroney, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:08, Reply)

GOVAN!
fucking english
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:09, Reply)

With a hint of Dutch.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Don't give me that
As if the majority of the inhabitants are capable of spelling their own name, let alone the town they live in.
( Kroney, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Sure they can, I see them scrawling it on walls everywhere.
BAZ LUVS ZENGA and RFC NO1 FTP.

Govan is charming.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:15, Reply)

I imagine that's why the grandparents left.
I've heard tales.
( Kroney, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:17, Reply)

They'll probably all be true.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:21, Reply)

If that's a qualification
I'm Scotch too.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:37, Reply)

There's plenty of mericans think they're Scotch too.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Quite likely.
But I don't think they have massive drunken parades on St Andrews day.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:19, Reply)

No, they pretend to know what haggis is on burns night.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Ahh, good point.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:40, Reply)

CRIVENS LADDIE!

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:05, Reply)

HELP MA BOAB!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Where you from MMPS?
I reside in Scotland's capital.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:09, Reply)

*spits on the floor* Oh. You're one of THEM.
GLASGOW YA BAS q:o|
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:13, Reply)

*backs away*
My sister lives over that side. The first time we went out in central Glasgow I was invited outside - and not in a good way.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:16, Reply)

I would suggest they test nukes here.
In fact fuck that, all the gold sovs would just throw the guidance systems off.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 10:19, Reply)