Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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ProblemsI may have mentioned that I have the squits. I'm here til 6pm minding the phones; someone has to do so every day. My colleagues have gone home. There's just me here.
And I need a shit.
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:12, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Two buckets, mateand ideally some kind of sound suppression device so I can fill 'em up under my desk
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:15, Reply)
I am going down the pub with Battered tonight.Hopefully that will somehow comfort you as the explosive, foetid gouts of stinging faeces jet down the insides of your trouser-legs on your journey home.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:15,
Reply)
You see, this is much more like what I expect of youWell done. You can have a click, if you promise to keep Battered of the fags tonight. He's giving up, you know.
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:17, Reply)
He!?!?!? I thought you were a chick.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:19,
Reply)
he is one ugly fuckin chickno offense battered
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:19,
Reply)
Not during the week he's not.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:20,
Reply)
Nah', he just moans like a bitch.BO-YAH
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:30,
Reply)
Initially a crippling cramp wracks your tortured stomach-lining,but the blessed relief at its subsiding is quickly replaced by horror as the realisation hits you: that your tortured shit-hoop is about to spew forth rusty, acidic water once again. Any solidity to your stools is long gone and all that remains in its place are high-pitched, feminine-sounding whiny guffs, and a kind of dirty mucus that looks like it has turmeric in it.
Why, oh why, you cry to yourself, did I agree to go for that 'pint' with Marc Almond at lunchtime....?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:19,
Reply)
Very good. One question...why are you putting even more thought into my anal expulsions than I am?
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:21, Reply)
*sighs*The Human League had a hit single called 'Human', the chorus of which began 'I'm only human'.
Never mind, poo-lord.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:29,
Reply)
Your knowledge of 80s synth-pop is impressive for a self-proclaimed heterosexual(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:31, Reply)
All darth's colleagues are gonna bully him at break time tomorrow.Shitty pants! Shitty pants! they will all shout.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:18,
Reply)
More likely to be "Santorum pants" given his interests(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:20,
Reply)
I'll have to rename myself Pooflakeand reap all the B3ta-related worship that follows
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:20, Reply)
Shit in your bosses draw, and stick a post it with a and a note saying,LOTS OF LOVE FROM MARTIN 32 TELECOMMUNICATIONS ANALYST FROM NORWICH
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:18,
Reply)
I actually get on really well with my bossSimilar levels of geekiness. Otherwise this is a flawless plan
(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:19, Reply)
You're right he may take it as a 'sign' and invite you round for a coffee table morning
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:21,
Reply)
The future of the human race is marginally less fucked than I anticipated(, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:25, Reply)
Don't worry bert will redress the balance when he gets his hands on his sister again(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 17:26,
Reply)
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