So I was round the bird's house last night.
We were sat there watching some shit on telly and I suddenly fancied a munch so without much talking I got right down to it. There I was lapping the bean when the cow goes and drops a muff guff or a queef as you people like to call it. Well I call it a muff guff so fuck you. Now I don't know about you but a misplaced proot, whether it's from the snapper or the crapper is bang out of order if my heads down there and this resulted in me losing interest. A bit later I went off to the bog to empty my arse and to my disgust I saw, sitting on top of the bin, a cuntplug tube. This would explain the rather irony aftertaste I got when I was down there munching the growler like a bulldog eating soup. I got the last laugh though as it turns out wimmin don't think a loud sustained belch IS funny when you're in the middle of slurping out their snapper. She is so totally sacked! Fuck you!
(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:22, 43 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Cool story

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:24, Reply)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I didn't know autisms were allowed to do that

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:26, Reply)

you're not

(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:31, Reply)

your the best poster this forums ever had, i think we need to hook up and do weach other hard

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Fucking hell I'm being groomed!

(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Fucking hell
When Autisms Collide - Volume 3
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:35, Reply)

3 4
Needs to be an EVEN number!
*touches lightswitch 48 times*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:39, Reply)

My humble apologies

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Hooray!
Out comes the comedy mental health weapon. Well done. Most original.
At least it wasn't Down's so I clicked it.
(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:50, Reply)

What was the point of posting your "story" as a new thread?
No question and did you expect anything other than abuse for the story? It reeks of "smell my fingers" to me

EDIT:
Almost forgot - you mong
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:54, Reply)

MONG! Hooray. Hahaha. Always make me giggle that one does.
Abuse? Expect it? THIS IS b3ta you silly twunt. Of course I expected it. I'm having a smashing day here. Nice mug of tea and a bag of Krispy Kremes and raising a few neck veins. Fucking hell I might crack one out to celebrate in a minute.
(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Haha!
Do you think you are winding people up here?

Go and sit back down, there's a good boy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:04, Reply)

imma internetting scoobydoobydoo
posting bolix, just like you.
(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:10, Reply)

i've printed this off and put it on my fridge

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:30, Reply)

so you can fist one out later right?

(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:32, Reply)

i'm a permafister, its always lodged in me colon

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:33, Reply)

paraffin and a spoon
shifts anything up there you want out.
(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:36, Reply)

I prefer the truth fairy.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:31, Reply)

you couldn't handle the truth fairy

(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:34, Reply)

alright fairy?
what's for lunch?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:35, Reply)

flan

(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:38, Reply)

You should change your name to The Bullshit Fairy
surely no woman would go near some as inarticulate or cretinous as you?

www.b3tards.com/u/260dc0d40192ddcfe80a/jimmy.png
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:38, Reply)

The use of the word irony in the post needs to be moved slightly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:39, Reply)

His english teacher thought it was in the right place.
Still got an f though.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Totally agree
but then take a gander at the Jeremy Kyle show and it might even give you some hope of getting spadged one day.
(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:40, Reply)

FuckBert has got a point
Inarticulate cretins do seem to get far more than I ever have. Although they do tend to have marginally lower standards than me.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I am married and have fathered a child. So I am very content with both how much sexual activity I partake in and my fertility
Perhaps once your testicles descend and you've finished school you may hope to become sexually active one day. Don't hold your breath though.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Well done for spunking the roe.
You sound like you need an angry wank.
(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I do actually. Back in a few minutes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:57, Reply)

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TURN OFF YOUR WEBCAM!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:00, Reply)

hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:55, Reply)

FUCK YOU!
It's not funny.
(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:04, Reply)

hahahahahahahahahaha
yeah
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Is your name in any way related to your relationship with darth?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Is your name any way related to baldmonkey?
And they have the cheek to call me autistic.
(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:57, Reply)

*punches wall with stolen dildo*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:59, Reply)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Haha!
Who sung this?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:02, Reply)

sung?

(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:13, Reply)

best RIS ever!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:03, Reply)

Best reply so far.

(Unconcerned of Tunbridge Wells got to be innit to winnit, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:08, Reply)