Take one Quentin Oftiweak
Burn liberally with a welding torch
Mock endlessly for 3-4 working days
Remove extremities over a period not exceeding 24 hours (hacksaw recommended)
Load trebuchet with remains
Aim at France
Fire

This will not cure your man-flu, but you'll feel a hell of a lot better
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:41, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

this is supposed to be the nice board, thats what lou said

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:45, Reply)

That was nice.
If it was mean, he would have Maddie'd you first.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:46, Reply)

It is.
You should go and spend sometime elsewhere and find out.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:46, Reply)

I hear Mumsnet is well fucking vicious

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:47, Reply)

In their defence
I probably shouldn't have posted all those pro-abortion links.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:48, Reply)

No, this is the mean board.
Someone here once said Darth's wife looked young and he went mental. Understandably.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:48, Reply)

I'd be offended if they said my boyfriend looked like a young woman too.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:49, Reply)

are you telling me that darth foxtrots wife is a peado?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:50, Reply)

5 mins without a reply means its a fact, darth foxtrots wife is a peadeo

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:55, Reply)

POTD

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:46, Reply)

rn m
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:59, Reply)

woo! yeah

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:00, Reply)

You sound like a 'Hip-House' record

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:01, Reply)

a hip house is that a care home?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:01, Reply)

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:06, Reply)

enjoyin these, like your effort

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Just realised it should actually read

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:11, Reply)

best one yet

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Just shut up and get on with it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:13, Reply)

too small to read, could you blow it up in big white letters on a black background plz?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Acually hang on.
Maybe you are one.

1) irrelevant - check
2) widely despised - check

You are Doug Lazy AICMFP
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Did you mean to post that to yourself?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:03, Reply)

I'm CERTAIN I'm not Doug Lazy.
Hang on, I'll check just in case...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:04, Reply)

I have no idea who Doug Lazy is.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:05, Reply)

He was a hip-house artist.
Late 80s house/acid with rapping on the top. Some of it was quite good, despite being hampered by fucking terrible MCing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Either that, or poor poor pop-punk band, Zebrahead.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:06, Reply)

hahaha this isn't bullying Gary.
Fucking hell, he feels bullied by darth.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:01, Reply)

He doesn't know he's fucking born.
Everyone else simply wishes he hadn't been.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Gary's ok. He's a friendly little troll and you lot DO think he's funny.
You popular page him a shit load.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:05, Reply)

see

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:06, Reply)

fucken well loved mate

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:06, Reply)

'Fucken' well bent mate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:16, Reply)

i'm taking that as a kiss with tongues

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:16, Reply)

I think he's a fucking flid.
It's not me clicking him. I might catch something from such unsavoury activity.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:10, Reply)

The more you show your internets rage, the more he'll post.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:12, Reply)

I know.
I'm pretending in the hope of causing an IRL meltdown. If you look at his posting stats he's dangerously unstable as it is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Dunno. Just roll with it and try some better put downs than the disabled jibes.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:15, Reply)

YEAH YOU PRICKS

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Shut up Gary.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:21, Reply)

oh mmps, your the only one here who means anything to me :(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Christ Quentin, you're embarrassing

( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:22, Reply)

FUCK OFF ADFAM YOU SHIT PRICK CUNT FUCKER BITCH WHORE COCK

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Fucking hell Adam. Don't infect OT with your shite.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:23, Reply)

yeah adam, you prick

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Wasn't even thinking about coming here
before Gary started pissing and moaning about some fella called darth and his wife being a fiddler.
Then I thought "uh oh, what's he done now?" and came to look.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:25, Reply)

your wife's a PEADO!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Seen as your here, stick the kettle on son. Milk and two.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:26, Reply)

Nu-uh, you spotty ned
This teaboy's a copyboy now
( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:27, Reply)

I'm off, have fun
And don't let gary stay on too long, okay?
( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:28, Reply)

GOING HOME

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:28, Reply)

I *mumble incoherently* you too Gary.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:24, Reply)

i fucken love you man, you were my first
you mean so much to me
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:25, Reply)

:'(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:15, Reply)

oh please
his spakka flipper clicks "i like this" on himself
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Does work more than once.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Self clicks don't count in b3ta.
Is that what you do swipey?
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Would it work if you used one account to click another?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Only once per account.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:15, Reply)

great, so we establish that this dull as shit dullard has many accounts?
marvy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:16, Reply)

nah i've tried that before it dunt work

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:16, Reply)

i have never clicked my own "i like this" button
if that is what you are asking...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:15, Reply)

You've never clicked your own button?
The rumours on this board would appear to be false.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:17, Reply)

it almost sounds as if you are trying to make this innocent conversation into sleazy smut
shame on you. SHAME ON YOU.

and as for you, battered...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:20, Reply)

never often c f "i like this"
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:17, Reply)

its been pretty upsetting actually, i don't aprecate you makin light of it

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:05, Reply)