Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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That thread seems to have degenerated into internet name-callingand so a winner must be declared.
I declare autism the winner.
Anyone know a good cure for man-flu?
Alt: weird folky/old wives cures that actually seem to work for you?
Alt alt: Is it still too early to talk about xmas?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:26,
155 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
There is no cure, only timeDrink water, rest, man up.
Alt: No
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:27,
Reply)
Oh and Alt alt: The religious festival talk began while you were deadSo I guess not...
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:29,
Reply)
I'm going with the drinking/resting/keeping warm/waiting strategybut I could do with a large dose of MTFU, because I'm a big fat gayer when it comes to being ill.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:30,
Reply)
Haribo cures the flutrufax
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:30,
Reply)
There is some evidence that supplementing with zinc will reduce the severity and lifespan of a coldBut you should have started taking it as soon as the symptoms began.
Oh and it might not too.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:31,
Reply)
Maybe I should just play it safe and sacrifice a goat(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:32,
Reply)
Feed a cold, starve a fever(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:36,
Reply)
That's what mr b3th keeps telling mebut the downside (or possibly upside) of a cold is that it completely kills my housewhale appetite, and I just don't feel like eating.
Or were you suggesting I eat the goat?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:38,
Reply)
If you are proper flu fucked then rest, rest and more restIf it is the snotty nose, head cold, tired thing then lots of fluids and more rest. Get a fucking spicy curry and snot your face off
Alt:
99% of headaches are sorted for me with a drink of water. Sitting down in the shower and having the water pour over my head for 5 mins cures a hangover
Alt Alt:
We already did!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:30,
Reply)
Your alt is correct.A lot of my headaches are mostly dehydration, and are almost immediately cured by large drinks of water.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:31,
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I hate to take pills for no reasonI'm sure most of the time when people take 2 paracetamol it is the water they take them with that sorts it.
I know when I'm getting dehydrated as I get really narky (I know!)
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:32,
Reply)
That's what I thoughtbut I seem to have missed some xmas related japery. Have we already put the decorations up in here?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:33,
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The fucking whats?No we have fucking not.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:38,
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Absolutely.Nothing warms my heart more than having round the clock adverstising for pink plastic vulgarity and vile Iceland party 'food' rammed down my fucking throat. I fucking LOVE it.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:46,
Reply)
I've now seen that advert that everybody hatesand i can see why they all hate it. Kid, your mum isn't 'wicked', she's a fucking spastic.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:49,
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The worst by far is for Disneyland.The pressure these cunts put on poor parents is fucking disgusting.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:58,
Reply)
If you're not taking your loin-fruit to Disneylandyou obviously don't love her AT ALL.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:00,
Reply)
don't watch tellyI've not seen a christmas advert yet except about 3 seconds when I looked up at the screens in the gym.
The real horror is the christmas lights round here
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:49,
Reply)
Do they have electricity in Wales now?That must have been exciting for teh troglodyte natives.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:51,
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yeahyou can see all the stalactites now and the canaries stopped dying, you can't move for the little yellow bastards nowadays
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:52,
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I don't watch a lot by any means, and 99% of that on iPlayer.However I have to deal with tubes/buses/billboards wherever I go; the shit is all-pervasive.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:53,
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It's almost as if we live in a capitalist society!/decadent west blog
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:55,
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Everyone is too much of a twat to be able to sign up for a party anyway. (
thealternativefact, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:33,
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I really can't be arsed to try and organise anything. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:34,
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I feel the same way.We can do something in the new year perhaps.
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thealternativefact, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:35,
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Just pick a night and go to the pubChristmas party sorted.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:36,
Reply)
This is why I can never go out for a meal anywhere on my birthday.Everywhere is full of office parties and restaurants automatically double their basic prices for the whole of the month.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:42,
Reply)
Screw them and their stupid xmas menus!*December birthday fives*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:45,
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Yup, me too.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:57,
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Nope.Alt: None of them.
Alt alt: yes.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:33,
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i go away for half an hour and look what happens.alt: orange juice sugar and ginger. I might make some for me now
alt altr. yes.
also - woe is me! Car is now in surgery and will cost a million pounds to fix :(
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:33,
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My car is off in for a free winter check on Thursdaywhich will no doubt cost me loads
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:34,
Reply)
Your poor car.You may have to sell a kidney.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:35,
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:(i'm like a money spending machine at the moment.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:39,
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www.b3tards.com/u/260dc0d40192ddcfe80a/foq.png
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:39,
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You cocksucker! I work for Dick Jones! Dick Jones! He's the Number Two Guy at OCD. OCD runs the cops.
You're a cop
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:42, Reply)
Nice.you're getting better, your almost as good as the parrot.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:25,
Reply)
My pleasure. This may be the first in a series of these I create. Shame they will have to be SFW
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:02,
Reply)
By the wayI'm not dead. Just so you know.
Well, I'm nearly dead, but not quite. Just enough to worry my family and that. Or not, apparently. *sulks*
Got your heating sorted yet?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:44,
Reply)
Glad ur not ded bludThey're flushing the frigging thing this week then coming back next week to drain the shit out of it. I've been right for two years!
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:46,
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You're always right! Don't they know this yet?I hope you're getting a huge reduction in rent for all this fannying about.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:47,
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I bet it certainly is 'cool'what with the heating being off and everything.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:49,
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Man-flu is deadly, sorry.However, if it's simply a headcold, and you need to be functioning, I find the lemsip max strength tablets to be a godsend. I can't actually do my work properly if I have a thick head, so I need them.
Alt: None that I'm aware of.
Alt Alt: Yes.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:36,
Reply)
I'm calling it man-fluI have a feeling it might actually be Jeffaids :-(
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:40,
Reply)
Alt: Gyppoes really ARE bad luck. Choking them to death with heather works as a preventative measure.As does sneaking into the fair at 4am and burning down the dodgems.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:37,
Reply)
I wish someone would spread you out over a few counties.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:39,
Reply)
Oi!(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:58,
Reply)
How can Miss Graham live with herself?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:38,
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She's only the getaway driver and mobile-phone camerawoman,her hands are relatively clean.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:39,
Reply)
Bet the rest of her is filthy though *hopes*(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:52,
Reply)
fucken perv you'd never have a chance even if she was blind deaf dumb mute dipped in hunny and thrown at you naked(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:07, Reply)
Take one Quentin OftiweakBurn liberally with a welding torch
Mock endlessly for 3-4 working days
Remove extremities over a period not exceeding 24 hours (hacksaw recommended)
Load trebuchet with remains
Aim at France
Fire
This will not cure your man-flu, but you'll feel a hell of a lot better
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:41, Reply)
That was nice.If it was mean, he would have Maddie'd you first.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:46,
Reply)
It is.You should go and spend sometime elsewhere and find out.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:46,
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In their defenceI probably shouldn't have posted all those pro-abortion links.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:48,
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No, this is the mean board.Someone here once said Darth's wife looked young and he went mental. Understandably.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:48,
Reply)
I'd be offended if they said my boyfriend looked like a young woman too.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:49,
Reply)
5 mins without a reply means its a fact, darth foxtrots wife is a peadeo(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 16:55, Reply)
You sound like a 'Hip-House' record(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:01,
Reply)
Just realised it should actually read 
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:11,
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Just shut up and get on with it.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:13,
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too small to read, could you blow it up in big white letters on a black background plz?(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:23, Reply)
Acually hang on.Maybe you are one.
1) irrelevant - check
2) widely despised - check
You are Doug Lazy AICMFP
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:02,
Reply)
Did you mean to post that to yourself?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:03,
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I'm CERTAIN I'm not Doug Lazy.Hang on, I'll check just in case...
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:04,
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I have no idea who Doug Lazy is. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:05,
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He was a hip-house artist.Late 80s house/acid with rapping on the top. Some of it was quite good, despite being hampered by fucking terrible MCing.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:09,
Reply)
Either that, or poor poor pop-punk band, Zebrahead.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:06,
Reply)
hahaha this isn't bullying Gary.Fucking hell, he feels bullied by darth.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:01,
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He doesn't know he's fucking born.Everyone else simply wishes he hadn't been.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:02,
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Gary's ok. He's a friendly little troll and you lot DO think he's funny.You popular page him a shit load.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:05,
Reply)
I think he's a fucking flid.It's not me clicking him. I might catch something from such unsavoury activity.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:10,
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The more you show your internets rage, the more he'll post.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:12,
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I know.I'm pretending in the hope of causing an IRL meltdown. If you look at his posting stats he's dangerously unstable as it is.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:13,
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Dunno. Just roll with it and try some better put downs than the disabled jibes.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:15,
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Fucking hell Adam. Don't infect OT with your shite.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:23,
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Wasn't even thinking about coming herebefore Gary started pissing and moaning about some fella called darth and his wife being a fiddler.
Then I thought "uh oh, what's he done now?" and came to look.
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Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:25,
Reply)
Seen as your here, stick the kettle on son. Milk and two.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:26,
Reply)
Nu-uh, you spotty nedThis teaboy's a copyboy now
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Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:27,
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I'm off, have funAnd don't let gary stay on too long, okay?
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Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:28,
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I *mumble incoherently* you too Gary.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:24,
Reply)
oh pleasehis spakka flipper clicks "i like this" on himself
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:12,
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Self clicks don't count in b3ta. Is that what you do swipey?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:12,
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Would it work if you used one account to click another?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:14,
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great, so we establish that this dull as shit dullard has many accounts?marvy.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:16,
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i have never clicked my own "i like this" buttonif that is what you are asking...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:15,
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You've never clicked your own button?The rumours on this board would appear to be false.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:17,
Reply)
it almost sounds as if you are trying to make this innocent conversation into sleazy smutshame on you. SHAME ON YOU.
and as for you, battered...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:20,
Reply)
its been pretty upsetting actually, i don't aprecate you makin light of it(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:05, Reply)
It's all abit caancel estate to be bangin on about Christmas in fucking novemberYou'll be goin on about paying a fiver a week into the Christmas box since march cos your a div with money but you and Tracey still want the perfect chritmas wif snow and everyfing
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:02,
Reply)
innit doh?We were driving through an 'estate' earlier today, and saw one house with enough xmas plastic bling in the front garden to drain the National Grid. In the middle of fucking November!
Although, to properly clarify my pikey roots, I was heartened the other day to see that you can still get paper xmas decorations. I thought they were all foil these days. I did my old git happy face.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:08,
Reply)
I'm sure your 'old git' did have a 'happy face' if you 'did' him.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:12,
Reply)
WhiskyLots and lots and lots of whisky.
You won't feel any better but on the plus side, you won't care.
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Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:06,
Reply)
Dinner tonight will involve hot toddy, hot bath, and early night.and more drugs.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:24,
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This^ actuallyMake honey and lemon with real honey, lemon juice and lot's of whiskey, won't make you better quicker, but makes life more bearable.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:33,
Reply)
Fuck the lemon and honey. Drink it straight from the bottle, all of it.Not only will you feel better, you'll feel invincible. The flu will just be some prick giving you hassle and you'll give it a peice of your mind. Admittedly it won't make any sense but in your head you'll be Bamber fucking Gasgoigne.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:39,
Reply)
Amphetamines.Never had a cold for about five years.
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girlinthehole, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:42,
Reply)
just osteoporosis, missing teeth, a ruined stomach lining and amphetamine psychosis...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Sorry I genuinely don't know why I am being so foul today.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:45,
Reply)
Time of the month, I suspect.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:49,
Reply)
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