Everything the dispatch manager says at my work is bullshit.
You HAVE to do it like this, that, and so on, yet there are always quicker ways of getting the exact same result. When you try to show her a quicker, easier way of doing it, she'll argue, tell you to 'fuck off', and do it the long winded way again.

Alt: Fook knows.

This weekend, I found out it's likely that for the first time in my life, I won't be seeing family on Christmas Day, and will likely be spending it alone. This is bothering me far less than I thought it would.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 11:58, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

They've finally told you that they hate you?
never mind, at least you won't have to eat the piss soak christmas pudding this year
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I can't stand Christmas pudding, vile stuff
Nope, as my step-brother is spending Christmas with his housemates, and my parents have decided they want to volunteer this year, we're not going to do anything on Christmas day, and instead see everyone on the 27th.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Sit around in your pants, wanking and drinking vodka straight from the bottle.
It's the only way.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Might make it whisky instead, it's Christmas after all, I should treat myself.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:08, Reply)

vodka is superior to whisky/whiskey in every single way

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:10, Reply)

BOLLOX
vodka is a bland girly drink
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Except taste
and smell
and colour
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:16, Reply)

they do PINK vodka
when they do PINK whisk/ey, you can comment.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:17, Reply)

you could add fruit and barley to it

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:19, Reply)

BUT
what if you're wearing green whilst holding the pink vodka? It'll clash HORRIBLY
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:19, Reply)

it is sweet that you think i would be holding it for long enough

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:21, Reply)

It is permissable to savour an alcoholic drink rather than just necking it, you know
*flawless poker face*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:24, Reply)

You really have to ease up on the foundation matey

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Asimov is an unforgiving master

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Both are shit, Gin is the best of all the spirits
but only mixed with slim line schewepps
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Whisky is foul stuff.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:19, Reply)

to think, your parents will be spending Christmas day with monty instead of you
You really should consider killing yourself, Speedily
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:12, Reply)

That really is in phenomenally poor taste
plus I made the pun better below
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:19, Reply)

i thought it was convaluted
i also thought he was Welsh so it took me even longer than usual to understand
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:22, Reply)

He was indeed Welsh
but he lived in Cheshire, hence "was found dead in his Cheshire home", etc
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:22, Reply)

I only read the headlines, because I couldn't give a shit about fottballers*

*actually I feeel extremely sad for his family, having had a friend go through the same
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Sorry to hear that mate

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:26, Reply)

yeah it was pretty awful

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:30, Reply)