Alt: My mum makes beef made of fluffy dry suede and acceptable chicken.
Her vegetables are liquified.
Her roast spuds and the gravy my dad makes are second to none though, so I forgive her and I love Christmas dinner.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:18, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

STRIKETHROUGHGOLD
b qu
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:21, Reply)

vegetaqles?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:21, Reply)

QUEEF

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)

it would be qeef though, not queef

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I'MSTILLLOLLING

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Suede?
Fuck that's grim.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Cold dry fluffy suede

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Swede surely?

(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:32, Reply)

No. That's a vegetable.
I'm on about the meat being so boiled to death that it resembles a piece of suede.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Oh dear...that is grim

(Kid Presentable, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:35, Reply)

scouser innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:36, Reply)

why do people do this? Surely it's less effort to cook it less>?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:36, Reply)

She just dumps it in boiling water with a bit of seasoning then leaves it in the oven for a year or so.
She has the audacity to call it 'roast' beef.
She makes nice roast lamb/pork/chicken but for some reason she does this terrible thing to beef. It's her favourite meat too.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)

How can you possibly make an arse of roast beef?
Stick it in the oven for an hour or two, job's a good 'un.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:57, Reply)

She likes it boiled or braised or whatever the fuck you call it
She actually likes it that way so we have to lump it
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I think cooking has moved on a wee bit
My mum used to murder mince and tatties. I despised it. She stuck the mince in the oven for about a week and a half. It was horrific.

The 1st time my (now ex-) wife told me she was making it I nearly vommed. It was actually fantastic. It had flavours and all kinds of things that I wasn't used to.

My mum used to boil the fuck out of vegetables. Now I steam them. What a fucking difference.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 15 Dec 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Our stories are similar.
I even bought them a steamer for an anniversary once. For a few weeks we had lovely veg and then she worked out how to murder them in a steamer too.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 11:04, Reply)

this sounds delightful
Why you stick with the local tradition and get yourself down to "Chicken cottage"?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Is that one of those rip-off KFCs or is it a chicken carvery?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Rip off KFC, like "Texa Chicken" or "Chick o Ribs"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Krunchy Fried Chicken

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Oh i just remembered I saw a Chicken Cottage somewhere and took a photo because it sounds like a gay knocking shop

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)

One of them in Southport

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Unlucky Fried Kitten

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Nom nom nom

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Bet you go for a munchy box for lunch now

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Never had one
And I've not had the local equivalent in ages, as it's been closed for months.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:33, Reply)

needed your business to keep them afloat eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:34, Reply)

No, it burned down

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 11:09, Reply)

There's a PFC in Reading
They had an indian version of the colonel sanders as a logo until they got told to take it down.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)

did they simply draw a bindi on him?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Just coloured him brown I think.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:27, Reply)

It was animated so his head wobbled from side to side.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:31, Reply)

hahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I'm ashamed to say that I lolled at this.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:32, Reply)

You disgusting racist.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I'm not quite sure what you said there
as I'm having trouble in seeing out of the eyeholes cut into the pillowcase I am wearing over my head.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:47, Reply)

FCKF is best
'Fried Chicken, Kebabs and Fish'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Also, when you say it as a word, it sounds like you're saying 'Fuck off'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:29, Reply)

swearing is fun

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 10:30, Reply)