I'm ill, so don't expect too much.
1. No.
2. Yes, two of my mates went missing for two days. They were last seen scrawling incoherently on the cover of the guest book at my wedding.
3. No
4. Yes. Unless they are turkey and mayonnaise toasties.
5. I like the rest of Europe, the food's better.
6. I've heard they're going for more than the price of a Heston Christmas pudding on eBay.

Did I mention I was ill? It's like manflu, only real.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:39, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Get well soon bbz x x x x

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:45, Reply)

I'm expecting you to lead the public display of teddy bear, floral-themed grief when my very bad cold is pronounced terminal.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

*places order with Interflora*

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I am touched. That's quite a few steps up from the petrol station carnations I was envisaging.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

You deserve it petal.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Nah, you don't get to winge about it.
You have to be like the wimmin in the Boots advert and just get the fuck on with it while doing 17 things at once.

Sorry, I don't make the rules.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I tried that and I got more ill and had to get antibiotics.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Pah!
This makes you not a real woman.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

*gives back womb*

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:00, Reply)

I don't want it.
Give it to Boyce, he'll probably snort it or something.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Mayo is vile

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Psst she's actually from Northern Ireland, AA

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 13:53, Reply)

OH COME ON NOW THIS IS GOOD STUFF HERE

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:06, Reply)

is this supposed to be read in an Oirish accent?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

that's why it is so unpopular and no one buys it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:05, Reply)

£10 says he prefers 'Salad Cream'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

he is frightfully common

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

+ northern

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

No comment
Maybe
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)