Best thing: I have all nice things in a nice flat in a nice area which is very nice. I saw a Le Cruiseyay pot yesterday that I want, it's purple. I saw it on the way into nandos that I went to with a friend, Despite there being two of us ordering serporatly they would only sign me once, Sad Times, One Per Store Per Person Per Day, jobsworth cunt. The lady who was serving us went to give our food to the next table and she said "I'm so sorry, in other Nandos staff have been shanked for less", and it took her 25 minutes after my friend started to serve my food and she was like "I've decided to allow you some food this time". I wanted to walk to walk out without paying for dersert, thinking it was a gift for wait for so long.

The worst thing is that there are a group of lads who play carpark with their car music on really really loud 'till about 11ish most nights behind me.

My earliest childhood memory is being in a pram in trent park with it raining and I had the seathrough cover on the pram down and it was the coolest thing in the world because I was indoors inside a forrest.

I am not a homosexual, I have kissed a bloke before, but I didn't think anything of it and I didn't want to use my willy, where as when I kiss a girl, I normally do want to use my willy.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 9:59, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You should complain to the council.
They take their Nando monitoring duties very seriously in that part of London.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)

It's OK because the lady made me laugh, she made us laugh quite a lot.
I wasn't a fan of the chips with peri-peri salt, they tasted chemically to me. They should have chicken wings as one of their side dishes so I can be like "Yo' Dawg, I got yo' some chicken with yo' chicken so you can be eatin' chicken while yo' eat some chicken". I want to try their steak next time. Uncle Tone doesn't eat poltry, because when he was young, they kept chickens and he was the one who had to slaughter'n'pluck them, he won't like it in Nandos.

I was thinking of calling the non-emergancy 999, but they always stop at exactly 11, so I reckon they've been told about rights'n'stuff.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)

So, what you're saying here is that when you kiss your Mum, you get the horn?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)

He is.
That's what he's saying. Wot a dirty cunt, eh readers?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)

I would like for it to be known, before and rumour start, that I do not think of my mother in any sexual manor.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Too late.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)

I wish I had a sexual manor, I'd ride around it wearing a hunting jacket and nothing else
and my mount would be a model for the bravissimo catalogue.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Can you imagine how annoying it would be to have a human mount?
If you were riding arond sitting on her back with her down on all fours, then she won't be able to get very far, they're not strong like a horse. Or if you were mounting her in terms of her being down on all fours and you were inside her, then as she's moving forward, you'll have to kindda tip toe with your knees bent down. It would be quicker to just walk.

When people have doggy-style sex in a bed, is it normally the girl is on the floor or the bed? I imagine if she was on the floor, her knees and hands might ache after a while. And if she's on the bed and you're standing on the bed, then the bed might be very unstable and you might fall over... I don't even like standing on chairs.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Unless it's a water bed, you're okay.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 10:44, Reply)

The highest of high class brothels.

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 10:23, Reply)