Am ignoring your questions and instead posting a dilemma.
My in-laws have invited us on holiday at Easter. They want to go to one of those big campsite/holiday villages in Normandy. While the idea of a free holiday is appealing, my reservations are:
a) it's 'same shit, different location' in terms of running around after a (non-sleeping) toddler;
b) my idea of camping is more Ray Mears/wilderness/blissfully getting away from everyone rather than a week in a mobile home surrounded by a holiday village full of English people complaining about the food and weather;
c) I'd have to entertain small child in a car, on a ferry, and then again in a car for pretty much a full day each way.

So do I grit my teeth and go or do I fuck off back to Mumsnet?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:28, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Back to mumsnet with you
We have turned down two free family holidays this year, it just wouldn't be relaxing. Instead we're leaving sproglet with the grinners and fucking off to France.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:34, Reply)

Surely the point of having kids is actually having these holiday experiences with your child?
I say this of course as someone without kids so feel free to point out how "everything changes" and "I wouldn't understand".
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:36, Reply)

EVERYTHING CHANGES, AL, YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:37, Reply)

I knew it.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:39, Reply)

Actually I would like to take her
but we are going to a wedding which would be difficult especially as I'm an usher. Also she won't remember it anyway.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:38, Reply)

Tattoo your best memories on her leg
then she'll never forget.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:39, Reply)

I need to find a way of declining that doesn't make me look like a snob.
"A week in one of those dreadful mobile homes in some ghastly holiday village? Oh, I'm not sure if I can make it that week."
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:36, Reply)

Why not? everyone has different standards? I'd rather stay at home than go to a caravan park

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:39, Reply)

My brother in law has a rule about not spending more than a week with anyone's parents, including his own.
If it is short with a definite ending you can grit your teeth and tolerate it for 7 days.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:38, Reply)

Good tule, though I'd make it 3 days max where my family are involved.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:43, Reply)

If you count two of those days as travelling
and arrange to do something separately on one day, that only leaves four days to slowly drive each other mad.
In my family it helps that my dad usually spends two days not speaking to anyone.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:46, Reply)

I want to go on a family holiday, just not there.
I was thinking maybe a nice cottage in Devon or something near to a beach perhaps, with a little cafe where they serve cream teas. Yes, I'm old and middle class and incredibly boring.
*goes back to growing vegetables*

If I'm going to go to France I want to stay the hell away from English people and very close to unlimited wine.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:39, Reply)

You grow vegetables?
You must be an awesome person.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:40, Reply)

esome personful bore
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:41, Reply)

I bet you've never even seen a vegetable unless it comes out of a packet with "Iceland" written on it.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:43, Reply)

Not true
I saw one wheeling down the road just the other day with a little bobble hat on
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:43, Reply)

You saw Monty?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:44, Reply)

yeah, I threw some change at him as I felt sorry for him
but then he started ranting about "owing me a suck job" so i pushed him into traffic
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:46, Reply)

I'm a marathoner too.
And I hope someday to construct a fence.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:41, Reply)

It's so fucking cold,
I was getting stomach cramps from drinking my squash while doing my 4 miles on Tuesday.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:44, Reply)

I did my four miles last night and they hurt.
I was trying to keep up with the much younger and fitter person ahead of me who was running home from work with a rucksack on.

Actually, that's another reason I don't want to go somewhere unknown at Easter - I'm going to have to be doing an 18 mile run that week.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:46, Reply)

I'm think I'm getting quite good at running in "a low state of arousal"
I'm taking that to mean that I'm not thinking about how long I'm running in total that day as I've already planned my route so I know how far I will be going, and when I'm running I'm concentrating on my breathing and my pace but not worrying about how fast I'm going overall or getting cross and struggling up hills.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:49, Reply)

Yep, I think going by distance rather than time is a huge mental bonus.
In fact, I'm going to go and do my three miles right now.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:51, Reply)

I'm gonna see how cold it is tonigh and I might do mine in the gym
and then do some weights.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:52, Reply)

I reckon you should leave Catface and the baby with them
and then take yourself off to a remote mountain location where you will practice running through the snow whilst being watched by soviet agents. You can improve your upper body strength by chopping wood and hauling it to the top of a hayloft, and then you can spend twenty minutes being punched in the face by Dolph Lundgren.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:38, Reply)

This is pretty much my perfect holiday.
*hums Eye of the Tiger*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:41, Reply)

How old is the kid?
If they like to run around I can recommend ditching the car/ferry and travelling by train for getting to France. It takes about the same length of time and your sprog might cope better if they have the freedom to move instead of being strapped into a car seat.
However, if your child is a screaming nightmare then you will spend the journey trying your best not to piss off the other passengers.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:42, Reply)

19 months
so still at the 'walk short distances, stops to examine every small blade of grass, falls over regularly' stage
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:45, Reply)

If they fall over a lot the train might not be so good then.
They scream louder in small enclosed spaces containing pissed off businessmen.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:50, Reply)

simply attach a hose to the exhaust and redirect the fumes into the car
remember to crack a window though, we're looking for a shortterm coma, not death.

/Mccanns
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 8:45, Reply)

Do it, 24 hour baby sitters
so you and catface can eat in nice bistros and read.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 9:52, Reply)