Great late-night thread by my mentally ill login-thief there.
Even though it does reference 'cinema', something I'm 'really into', that wasn't me. It doesn't especially bother me but it's a bit fucking weird, eh?

Good weekend? Mine was tip-top. Warm weather makes entertaining a three-year-old considerably cheaper.

Alt: Good week ahead? Aside from being proposed to on Weds I've nothing exciting coming up.

Attn AA: Hitler film safely delivered, will spare the missus that one as she's going away later this week so I'll be having a Nazi weekend. Thanks a lot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:32, 118 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm tired
I was awake all night waiting for a bent Gooner to text me.

I'll bet you watched the Oscars last night.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:36, Reply)

I sure did. I played an Oscars drinking game because I am a hideous wanker and that's what we do.
I will have the desired information for you this morning. I was a little refreshed after Needoo's and things went slightly awry.

Soz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:42, Reply)

I'm not surprised
What with your team winning and everything.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:45, Reply)

The 'Other Side' won something?
Was there a voguing contest in Shoreditch again?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:47, Reply)

Busy week ahead.
Mum and dad are coming to help me pack tomorrow because I'm Mr Trebus and need help.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:50, Reply)

Will you be living with your fiance when you move?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:58, Reply)

Yup, in that there Scotchland

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:58, Reply)

Och aye the fuckin' noo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:03, Reply)

whereabouts is your new place?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:12, Reply)

West End

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:18, Reply)

sweet.
haymarket? dean village?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Dean.
13 min walk from Primark. Sorted.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:22, Reply)

Where do you live, btw?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:28, Reply)

Don't you know where you live?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:29, Reply)

Well I have only seen it on the internet
so it could be a workie's hut for all I know.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:39, Reply)

By the botanic gardens. Inverleith/Canonmills
I reckon I'll see you drinking in stockbridge. Dean's a nice little place.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:33, Reply)

There's a little street with a few pubs near us
Bert's bar etc etc. Any good?
I will also be befriending the old men in the Oxford and the Cambridge.
Where else do you suggest? djtp wants to go to Lebowski's cos it's his favourite film.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:35, Reply)

haha, I was in lebowski's on sat night.
Berts and teuchters across the road are good. there's no old men in the cambridge, it's a rah pub really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:37, Reply)

That pains me.
It looked like an arld fella's pub. Oh well, The Oxford is an arld man's pub isn't it?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:38, Reply)

it's half wankers and half Rebus fanboys with a few old men in for good measure
mathers, bow bar or stockbridge tap are your old man pubs. Or spiers, but that's up by me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Ta.
And I mean nice old men. not ones with pitbulls or in and out of the betty for a flutter.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:41, Reply)

that rules out spiers then, too. extension of the Coral next door.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:43, Reply)

I have been spoilt for quality old people in my pub

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:44, Reply)

oh roota, i had no idea
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rooter (number 4)
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Oi you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)

shut it you slaaaaaaaaaaaaag

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)

you meff!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:24, Reply)

sweatty sock!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:38, Reply)

I am from the People's Republic of Scouseland

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:42, Reply)

but your moving to edinboruough
so your even worse than a real sweatty sock
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:50, Reply)

No, I'm Monty Boyce
^MORE FILM^

My weekend was pretty goood, thanks. Ranging from the chavviest kids birthday party I've ever been to, to a decent slap-up lunch round at a chef friend's house.

Alt: Sorry girls, I'm already married. Apart from receiving more records through the post I have nothing to look forward to.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:50, Reply)

So how old was your kid on the weekend?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Old enough to know better than to join in with the breakdancing lesson at the party.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:04, Reply)

I do hope you are not disparaging the noble art of the b-boy here.
I don’t want to have to battle you, Tangers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Would this battle take the form of a "dance-off"?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:08, Reply)

No that would be bent.
A b-boy battle is not the same AT ALL*


*it's kind of the same. Kind of exactly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Weekend: test drove a couple of cars, decorated, rugby, cooking, pub.
This week: firing 6 people, buying a car, celebrating Mrs Battered's birthday on Thursday.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:07, Reply)

I prefer fake Monty
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:12, Reply)

I broke my arm, so not really.
Alt: I plan to spend the week discovering just how many fucking things it's impossible to do with only one hand.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:13, Reply)

haha, victim of domestic violence^^

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:14, Reply)

she totally smacked me up.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:15, Reply)

and you deserved it for not making the FUCKING TEA

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:15, Reply)

true dat.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Hockey or booze?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:17, Reply)

hockey.
I've been boozing for many years so I'm quite good at not injuring myself doing that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:18, Reply)

I always feel disappointed if a massive booze session does not result in some kind of injury

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)

grass hockey or real hockey?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)

neither, although probably what you mean by the former.
but it's against the rules to play on grass. Ice hockey is for screaming Marys that need body armour.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:21, Reply)

Why can't you play on grass? i learnt to play on grass back in the day

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:22, Reply)

it's too unpredictable.
be like playing cricket on an uneven wicket. You're allowed to play lower league stuff on grass I think but national league and international is forbidden.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:31, Reply)

grass hockey is real hockey

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:21, Reply)

real hockey the gayest sport imaginable
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:23, Reply)

football is the gayest sport ever

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:26, Reply)

gayer than a bunch of boys frolicking in a field in knee high shorts with sticks
shouting 'ta-ra!' at each other? yeah football is gay too
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:27, Reply)

a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/182884_10150159900795185_510100184_8565388_5573924_n.jpg
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:29, Reply)

RIP Labs

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:31, Reply)

haha. win.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Football is 'uber-gay'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:29, Reply)

i'm not arguing with that, i don't like football
but you can't tell me taht hockey is any straighter?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Sport is bent. All of it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:38, Reply)

surely not Ultimate Fighting?
theres nothing i've seen thats gay about two men in their pants holding each other on the floor
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:41, Reply)

NOTHING WHATSOEVER.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Fucking hell. I am agreeing with YOU. Blimey.
Football is as bent as Stunned gargling cum in the showers at Chariots on a Thursday evening.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Or "dinner" as I prefer to call it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:14, Reply)

Aren't you a bit old for roller skates?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:30, Reply)

NEVAR.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:33, Reply)

I have a new flat to move into with an extra bedroom and stairs,
I have found someone to rent my old flat for just £50 PCM less than the new place, meaning I have more space for almost no money.

Weekend included very exciting and yet ultimately disappointing rugby.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:17, Reply)

*phones the Inland Revenue fraud office*

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Good of you to hand yourself in Rory

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:20, Reply)

My company accounts are regularly inspected by various bodies, from a professional point of view I remain squeaky clean
UNLIKE MR NAKED APE THE TAX EVADER U AND THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS DISGUST ME
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:24, Reply)

i hope youre allowed to sublet, plus that you get a deposit from them thatll cover the old one, and that being one that will be protected.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Morning Monty
Glad to see the DVD has arrived.

Not a bad weekend, although I do feel a little sick at the minute.

Friday - Had a night with housemates, drank, smoked, just a good laugh really.

Saturday - Went out with friends, headed back to a mates house, drank and watched films til 4am

Sunday - Watched 2 cracking games of football, potted up my curry, attempted an early night, failed miserably.

Alt: Gig tonight, then seeing b3tans next weekend, so I hope so!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:22, Reply)

2 cracking games?
because if you're including the carling cup in that, I hope you were on strong hallucinogens. It was fucking woeful.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:42, Reply)

It was enjoyable, Cardiff played their heart out

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:45, Reply)

neatly summed up
here, i reckon
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Good morning all.
Good Weekend thanks, watched my new World at War DVDs on Sunday, Apparently it was the Nazis that did it.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:42, Reply)

It's a fair cop guv.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:48, Reply)

I've got £18 to last me 'till wensday, but I have fags, so I should be alright as long as I don't see a will smith DVD on special offer.
Sometimes I think I'm the most retarded man in the history of retarded men, why did I think FIVE DAYS before pay day that it would be a good idea to buy a new playstation !?!??!?!
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:45, Reply)

oh hiz Gonz, hows your Vita?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:46, Reply)

its great, uncharted is really engaging, the back touchpad works well, movies look great on it.
Its like a kindle for games, you can just download them, sometimes cheaper than shops too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:59, Reply)

did you go 3G or Wifi?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:05, Reply)

wifi, dont

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:07, Reply)

don't what? do you reckon the 3g isn't worth it just for downloading games?
(or playing online? what?)
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:11, Reply)

sorry, pressed enter early
Don't see the point of 3g, it cost like
£5 for 500mb, each demo alone is like 2gb. And I can't imagine live gaming being any good on it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:36, Reply)

£5 for 500mb? Playstationa re having a giraffe!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Anybody fancy a snog?
I have a chest infection and I'm feeling generous.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Go on then.
No scat though. Not on the first date.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:05, Reply)

i'd love to, but won't your girlfriend get jeal...
oh, soz
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Great weekend and a pretty good week lined up too!
Drank a fair bit, didn't watch either of the competetive mincing games* on Sunday, played lots of guitar and had chinese food twice. All good!
This week I are mostly working (yeah right - like what I do is work) with occasional outbreaks of decorating.

*Football
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Arsenal won the derby!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:18, Reply)

They were lucky. ;-)
Monty, your fellow Gooner, was delighted.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Lucky! They were brilliant. I was very pleased.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:22, Reply)

I had a lovely weekend thanks for asking.
No internet shut-ins, so that was a good start.

Went to West Ham on Saturday and then watched the rugby afterwards. Pub on Saturday night.

Yesterday was glorious, I did nothing.

Alt: I am Billy No Mates this week.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

oh what, you mean you didn't go to sit in a pub with monty, battered and whoever else
and sit around going 'OMG YOUR GAY, I'M DEFINITYELY NOT GAY BUT YOU ARE' all night?

disapointed is what i am
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Relieved is what I am.
You forgot the bit where one of them makes a joke about the Nazis.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:23, Reply)

I thought it was you listening in to our conversations last Saturday.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:24, Reply)

bet your gutted i forgot to list you

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:26, Reply)

I was more gutted at you not being there tbh.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:27, Reply)

cos you wanna cuddle?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:30, Reply)

I'd rather be molested by a moose.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:33, Reply)

thats no way to talk about your wife

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:35, Reply)

That's right, Barters.
How were you holibobs?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:26, Reply)

Very relaxing thanks.
The cottage can best be described as looking like a ginger bread house. Lovely open fire. which we kept blazing away. Good pub within stomping distance.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Nice.
You had a decent week's weather too. For February.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Yup, only a bit of a shower on Wednesday.
Went to Tonbridge Wells on Thursday and got sun-burned.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:35, Reply)

5-2 stunners, from 0-2 down!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:23, Reply)

I watched it, Boaby. I set my face to stunned.
If only Walcott could play like that week in, week out. 2nd half play obv.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:26, Reply)

He is a bit pony but did well in that roLe

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:40, Reply)

It's gonna be another successful season for the gunners

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:26, Reply)

i don't think they should be allowed weapons, it sets an unfair advantage

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:27, Reply)

Oh silly Quinten it's got something to do with Arsenal really being a South London side

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:29, Reply)

\o/

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:31, Reply)

From my hometown of Woolwich.
Had the first McDonalds in the UK.

True Story.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:37, Reply)

+and thats why i'm so rotund

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:38, Reply)

No, that's because
everytime I fuck your Mum she gives me a biscuit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:39, Reply)

hahahahahaahaha!
poor mama :'(

bankrupted by McVities
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 10:40, Reply)