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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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SERIOUS ADVICE THREAD
Tracey's due in today right, and Tracey's bloody lovely.
Trouble is, Malc's alot better looking than I am, and more charming, and talented, and better in almost every way. I've tried undermining him by pointing out that he has a criminal record, earns less than i do, has a kid that he rarely sees and a girlfriend, but he still seems to be ahead in the Tracey stakes.
What would you do to woo a woman? How would you cover up your infidelity if you weren't sure you still had a girlfriend? How would you beat the competition?
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:13, 159 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Tracey's due in today right, and Tracey's bloody lovely.
Trouble is, Malc's alot better looking than I am, and more charming, and talented, and better in almost every way. I've tried undermining him by pointing out that he has a criminal record, earns less than i do, has a kid that he rarely sees and a girlfriend, but he still seems to be ahead in the Tracey stakes.
What would you do to woo a woman? How would you cover up your infidelity if you weren't sure you still had a girlfriend? How would you beat the competition?
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:13, 159 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I would spend the whole time going: "ooh ooh look at me, don't look at Malc, loook at meeeeeee"
which I think you've got covered
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
which I think you've got covered
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:15, Reply)
nah i've been playing it cool, which was working for a while
but he's getting ahead again as i played it too cool
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
but he's getting ahead again as i played it too cool
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Generally girls are brainwrongs that get more interested the more you ignore them.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
I think you could have stopped that sentence after brainwrongs.
Morning.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Morning.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
not in this case, malc was all flexing his muscles yesterday and being all dashing
and tracey was like ooooooh and they were fawning over each other and i went :(
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
and tracey was like ooooooh and they were fawning over each other and i went :(
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Wooing women is for queers.
I would never cheat on a girlfriend - if I wasn't happy with mine I'd simply split up with them. My natural good looks and charm ensure that I always 'beat the competittion' - although I don't like that phrase/attitude one bit - it's not a 'competition' that one needs to 'beat' others at - that's tawdry and cheapens the chivalrous purity of courtly love.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
I would never cheat on a girlfriend - if I wasn't happy with mine I'd simply split up with them. My natural good looks and charm ensure that I always 'beat the competittion' - although I don't like that phrase/attitude one bit - it's not a 'competition' that one needs to 'beat' others at - that's tawdry and cheapens the chivalrous purity of courtly love.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:17, Reply)
You know how people always say ' just be yourself'?
Yeah, don't do that.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Yeah, don't do that.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:19, Reply)
oh quince, i too am in the same spot.
You need to lower her self esteem til she just doesn't care anymore.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
You need to lower her self esteem til she just doesn't care anymore.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)
hmm, its a pickle
i don't need to lower her self esteem, tracey seems ok, not over the top confidence wise, but she's going wibblty at the knees cos of malc
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
i don't need to lower her self esteem, tracey seems ok, not over the top confidence wise, but she's going wibblty at the knees cos of malc
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Indeed.
Plus it shows you're not afraid to show your sensitive side - this can be achieved by crying as you do the wanking.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Plus it shows you're not afraid to show your sensitive side - this can be achieved by crying as you do the wanking.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Man the fuck up and talk to your existing "girlfriend"
Bin her off and ask t'other one out. If she says yes, job done. If she says no, it's back to wanking
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Bin her off and ask t'other one out. If she says yes, job done. If she says no, it's back to wanking
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:27, Reply)
shut up you don't know what your talking about
I love my girlfriend-non-girlfriend and wouldn't cheat on her
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:30, Reply)
I love my girlfriend-non-girlfriend and wouldn't cheat on her
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:30, Reply)
cos i'm not sure we're still on anymore, cos she kind of wants to be on her own for a bit as she has alot on
although we have been better lately, more casual so happier
i'm not seriously asking for serious advice on how to cheat on anyone, you stupid cunt
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)
although we have been better lately, more casual so happier
i'm not seriously asking for serious advice on how to cheat on anyone, you stupid cunt
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)
i've been staying in the office or going home
going to meet the gf-non-gf for lunch today though
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:37, Reply)
going to meet the gf-non-gf for lunch today though
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:37, Reply)
i dunno
i went away and when i came back something funny was there when it weasn't before
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:01, Reply)
i went away and when i came back something funny was there when it weasn't before
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:01, Reply)
that is a complete contradiction of what i have seen in the last 5 months
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:02, Reply)
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:02, Reply)
You taught her to love Sportscow's meat?
ERRRRRR!!!! BENNY ON THE LOOSE!!!
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:46, Reply)
ERRRRRR!!!! BENNY ON THE LOOSE!!!
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:46, Reply)
She does
Oh, Felicity, Felicity
You fill me with electricity
But that does not mean you are shocking
Oh, no, you are nice
Like Sugar and Spice
Like a proper girly ought to be
(Even though I am sure you have radical views
On the subject of equal opportunities)
Your Second name is Kendall
Which if you jumble up all the letters
And take some away
And Add some others
Makes "I love you"
I adored you as the star of TV's "The Good Life"
And I'm not being sexist but I think you'd make a 'good wife'
How about it, Filly?
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:14, Reply)
Oh, Felicity, Felicity
You fill me with electricity
But that does not mean you are shocking
Oh, no, you are nice
Like Sugar and Spice
Like a proper girly ought to be
(Even though I am sure you have radical views
On the subject of equal opportunities)
Your Second name is Kendall
Which if you jumble up all the letters
And take some away
And Add some others
Makes "I love you"
I adored you as the star of TV's "The Good Life"
And I'm not being sexist but I think you'd make a 'good wife'
How about it, Filly?
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:14, Reply)
take two teaspoons of cement and harden the fuck up
is the correct answer to everything.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:31, Reply)
is the correct answer to everything.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:31, Reply)
I just chat to them
If they're interested, I go for it. If not, I don't.
I spent 45 minutes telling this girl about how amazing my mate was, she went over to chat, the social retard in him then emerged, and he barely said a word to her. I could have fucking killed him.
I've spoken about infidelity before, it seems to get the frothing masses going on about how much of a wanker I am, etc. Those times are done, so the less said, the better.
And if it's a competition, I don't bother competing, as Ican't be arsed know I'll lose.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:50, Reply)
If they're interested, I go for it. If not, I don't.
I spent 45 minutes telling this girl about how amazing my mate was, she went over to chat, the social retard in him then emerged, and he barely said a word to her. I could have fucking killed him.
I've spoken about infidelity before, it seems to get the frothing masses going on about how much of a wanker I am, etc. Those times are done, so the less said, the better.
And if it's a competition, I don't bother competing, as I
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:50, Reply)
Indeed
And I don't mind because things are currently pretty good with said wife, though the oven glove has left me.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:03, Reply)
And I don't mind because things are currently pretty good with said wife, though the oven glove has left me.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:03, Reply)
I bumped in to a guy I hadn't seen since school at a rugby match the other day
We got chatting and I told him I now had two kids and he told me he also had two kids. He said his were 1 year and 10 months old. Whilst I tried to work this out I noticed he looked crestfallen. Yes he had got his wife and his girlfriend pregnant at the same time, he now has neither. Suddenly my life seemed fucking great!
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:07, Reply)
We got chatting and I told him I now had two kids and he told me he also had two kids. He said his were 1 year and 10 months old. Whilst I tried to work this out I noticed he looked crestfallen. Yes he had got his wife and his girlfriend pregnant at the same time, he now has neither. Suddenly my life seemed fucking great!
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:07, Reply)
Not bad
Everyone in my department is either on holiday, off sick or fucking incompetent which means I am having to do all the work so I thought fuck the lot of them I'm going on b3ta
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Everyone in my department is either on holiday, off sick or fucking incompetent which means I am having to do all the work so I thought fuck the lot of them I'm going on b3ta
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:10, Reply)
That's showing them.
Our place is fucking deserted today. I may go and do some light drinking.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Our place is fucking deserted today. I may go and do some light drinking.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:17, Reply)
I am going to see a punk band on Saturday night, I'll have you know.
We out later?
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
We out later?
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
Ladies and gentlemen
it give me great pleasure to announce that, contrary to previous reports, it appears that PUNK ROCK is in fact still alive after all.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
it give me great pleasure to announce that, contrary to previous reports, it appears that PUNK ROCK is in fact still alive after all.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:18, Reply)
One of the girls I know is planning a 'punk rock' night out for her birthday, despite her being about as punk as Tracey's left testicle.
Should be fun(!)
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
Should be fun(!)
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
I'm wearing my Anarchy T'Shirt and have put safety pins in my ears
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:20, Reply)
I think you should kill yourself
then she would know you cared enough to pay to ultimate price.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:25, Reply)
then she would know you cared enough to pay to ultimate price.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:25, Reply)
I he's so great why did he die before he put Edwards hands on
and why did he think it a good idea to give him scissors instead?
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
and why did he think it a good idea to give him scissors instead?
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
have you ever tried wrapping a present, cutting the tape and sticking it at the same time?
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Because he was a magnificent cunt.
and you type like you have scissors instead of hands
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
and you type like you have scissors instead of hands
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
On no account let her see your pitiful attempts at flirting with me in the last thread
Or anything else to do with your personality
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Or anything else to do with your personality
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Don't be sweetheart
Just accept your failings and learn from them. You go girlfriend.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
Just accept your failings and learn from them. You go girlfriend.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
i can't believe i'm being patronised by a man who wears frilly shirts
and does a two-step with a polish dayglo transexual
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:33, Reply)
and does a two-step with a polish dayglo transexual
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:33, Reply)
you crossed a line here bro, my mum's not dead
that's out of order
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
that's out of order
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
I just got a copyright infringement notice from Facebook for putting up that video with all the non celebs singing let it be.
Hypocritical cunts. Everything about their fucking site is nicked from elsewhere. I hope Zuckerburg gets cancer.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
Hypocritical cunts. Everything about their fucking site is nicked from elsewhere. I hope Zuckerburg gets cancer.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
One of my pals
got shitty threats from Virgin after posting his old band videos on YouTube.
1. Their stuff has been out of print for about 20 years
2. It didn't sell that well even then and
3. My pal wrote the songs and it's him in the video.
Fucking ridiculous.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
got shitty threats from Virgin after posting his old band videos on YouTube.
1. Their stuff has been out of print for about 20 years
2. It didn't sell that well even then and
3. My pal wrote the songs and it's him in the video.
Fucking ridiculous.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)
Morning sweetheart
I'm sure I was appalled at you for not being able to guess one of my drawings but I can't remember what
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
I'm sure I was appalled at you for not being able to guess one of my drawings but I can't remember what
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Hair dye. Looked like a fat, shit, Keith flint. Had me perplexed.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
there is some bitch doing her nails on the tube and it fucking stinks.
Why do women and emos paint their nails?.... Cus their fingers are fucking ugly.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
Why do women and emos paint their nails?.... Cus their fingers are fucking ugly.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they smell.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Because they're ugly and they smell.
( , Wed 11 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
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