copy and paste some legal sounding stuff off the internet into a email
it means you skip past the "meat shield" of retards on the front line and deal with someone who actualy knows (sort of) what they're doing.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:32, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

he should get rachelswipe to write something up on her shotgun bastard & dribble headed paper

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:33, Reply)

No need.
I am now getting a brand new handset tomorrow (with another year's warranty), and the same monthly package for less, due to my FEARSOME TELEPHONE BULLYING*

*phrases such as 'ARE YOU SERIOUSALY TRYING TO TELL ME' and 'IN MY TWELVE YEARS AS A CUSTOMER OF YOURS I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A RIDICULOUS' were employed
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:34, Reply)

+ 'I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE' and 'I AM GOING TO RAPE YOU UNLESS YOU GIVE ME A NEW PHONE'

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:39, Reply)

'I HAVE YOUR KIDS HOSTAGE'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:44, Reply)

+ BECAUSE I CAN'T HAVE MY OWN

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 May 2012, 11:47, Reply)

*stern face*
Now steady on.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:50, Reply)

bender x

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 May 2012, 11:56, Reply)

Ouch!

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 9 May 2012, 11:53, Reply)

I've just been forwarded a customer complaint,
from a customer who has BEEN MEASURED BY MENSA TO HAVE AN IQ OF 155!!!
and who is also BRITISH TO THE BONE!!!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:41, Reply)

Well I hope that now you will take my complaint seriously, Narinder.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:44, Reply)

nothing to boast of
I got either 156 or 165 on one of their poxy tests and I'm not exactly a fucking genius.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 9 May 2012, 11:46, Reply)

Never a truer word said.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Did it also test for dyscalculia?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:50, Reply)

Oh v good

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:50, Reply)

Silly tangles
CQ is not a vampire
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:51, Reply)