the old best thing/wors thing cop-out eh?
must be friday. ok i'll bite.

best: do-goody nature allows for slight offset of my asshole footprint.

worst: tossup between the commute, and the fact i'm currently doing one and a half people's jobs, while sweeping the metaphorical floor with an equally metaphorical broom clenched firmly in my metaphorical sphincter.

Alt Alt: revenge for the 'why do birds suddenly appear' song. admittedly, rather prescient of them.

Genuine alt alt: much like whales, we attribute too much human sentiment to the noise they are making. in reality, if you could translate, it's a delightful mix of 'will fuck for nesting materials' 'have nest will fuck' and 'are you lookin at ma fuckin LAWN pal? eh? eh?
sparrows i imagine to be shouting 'OO ARE YA? OOO ARE YA???' then breaking off into 'FUCKIN GET HIM HARRY! PUT THE FUCKING BEAK IN SON! BREAK HIS FUCKIN WINGS MATE! QPR! QPR! the little feathery cunts.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:51, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Typical bird hater.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:53, Reply)

don't kid yourself
those feathery little dinosaurs are one opposable digit away from decimating us. we've all seen 'the birds' we know what they're capable of. i say we start with robins, garrotte the little cunts, hang em on lamp-posts as a warning. cheerful little red-breasted bastards. show em we mean business like.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:55, Reply)

I've tried roaming round the streets of a friday evening
begging for sex in exchange for nesting materials. Didn't work on humans. Worked on birds - got a couple of good shags, but then took a tern for the worst. Felt a bit of a tit, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:58, Reply)

after a while
I realised I had more custom than I could handle and had to employ a wren-t boy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:02, Reply)

someone
validate me

i just need a little lol
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)

a teeny tiny
bit of attention

that's all I require
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)

for my little
jokettes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:06, Reply)

fine
see if I care
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:08, Reply)

sterling work on the wren-t boy
i tried to sneakily grope some tits once. they weren't that gull-ible though.
but one of them let me have a gander.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:08, Reply)

all this rent boy talk's got me a right stork-on

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:11, Reply)

i can hear you puffin

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:14, Reply)

Nope, sorry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:10, Reply)

fuck you boyce
the bluenamer dude is cooler than you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:11, Reply)

he should take an overdose of heron!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:12, Reply)

i think he's already
dunnet
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:14, Reply)

i hope he used a dirty need-owl

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:19, Reply)

The 7th level of hell is cooler than me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)