loads of footballers live by my dad
if i could spell veeeeditch, i could tell you that he lives next door. and rooney rented the house opposite until his mcmansion was ready.

alex ferguson is a mate of my dad's, so occasionally (and i mean about once a decade) i come downstairs to see him guzzling whisky in the lounge. when i was about 15, he said to my dad, "you're not letting her out in a skirt like that, are you?"

i don't know whether to be happy or cross this morning. happy because i did 90 mins in the gym before work. cross because my new granola cereal was six fucking pounds fucking seventy fucking five fucking pence for a 500g bag. i did not realise this until i was already at the till in the deli. anyway, it's fucking RANK.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:35, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Well it would taste rank if you buy the cheap stuff.

( Peej, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:37, Reply)

i like lizzi's granola
the black treacle and pecan one is AMAZING. it's hard to find good granola that hasn't been ruined by those twin cunts, raisins and sultanas. and their evil bastard mate, coconut.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:38, Reply)

I don't eat breakfast
So I am missing out on a whole world of Breakfast foods
( Peej, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:39, Reply)

I had bacon this morning
This is infinitely better than granola.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:43, Reply)

all i heard is
blah blah i'm wrong blah blah
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:44, Reply)

A lack of bacon does affect hearing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:45, Reply)

She's just being pig ignorant

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:47, Reply)

You are on form today sir

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Nice.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:48, Reply)

it's just my STYle

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Trot on

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:55, Reply)

i guess you reap what you SOW

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:56, Reply)

When telling porkies

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:09, Reply)

I can't help porking my nose into other's business

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:09, Reply)

You're such a food weirdo.

( Kroney, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:39, Reply)

food

LOL!!!
( Kroney, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:40, Reply)

This is quite impressive
You were almost nonced by Fergie
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:41, Reply)

he has a very dry sense of humour
it took me about 20 years to work him out.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Your Dad must be fucking minted

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:45, Reply)

he's done alright for himself
he still puts ketchup AND brown sauce on his baked beans though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:50, Reply)

Ugh, ketchup in beans?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:51, Reply)

baked beans are fucking rank
ketchup is fucking rank
brown sauce is fucking rank

the whole thing is.... fucking rank
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:53, Reply)

FOOD
WEIRDO
( Kroney, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:55, Reply)

KISS MY POO CHUTE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:56, Reply)

Sorry, I don't double dip.

( Kroney, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:59, Reply)

You're just odd.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:57, Reply)

It is OK when it arrives in there by accident but I'd not put it in on purpose
/euphamism
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:54, Reply)

Brown sauce in beans at breakfast is perfectly acceptable though

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:55, Reply)

I prefer a little branston pickle
and some chili powder.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:10, Reply)

Branston in beans?
Hmm, not tried that. I wouldn't have it with breakfast though, I don't think it'd work.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:17, Reply)

It sounds rank.

(berk, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:18, Reply)