I am useless at cooking
I keep trying but it never goes right.

Alt: I'm pretty good at writing. Found an old half written novel I abandoned and was reading it through without realising it was mine. It was not bad at all.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:04, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

how did it end/

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:05, Reply)

we'll never know
:O
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:06, Reply)

It didn't. Thus the half written.
I got bored.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:06, Reply)

Did you get naked in it?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:06, Reply)

it was called fifty shades of Gove

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:07, Reply)

"Michael opened the door to his dungeon, his attempt at a chin wobbled up and down as his pigeon chest heaved as he came close to hyperventilating
"I've, i've never actually touched a real woman" he said as I slid my hands up his tie and began to undo it, as my fingers brushed against his neck he convused suddenly "GAAAAAGH!" he exclaimed.

I looked down at a rapidly growing damp patch on the front of his shiny grey trousers.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:11, Reply)

PORNOGRAPHIC TIT JOBBY

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:11, Reply)

That is truly disgusting
and I wouldn't be caught dead in a dungeon.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:13, Reply)

If you're in a dungeon you've already been caught.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:14, Reply)

Oh whatever
You're a Tory, you'll be into auto-erotic asphyxiation before you know it.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:17, Reply)

the only oranges in her fruit bowl
are soaked in amyl nitrate
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:18, Reply)

She has a massive jar of them
like the jars of pickled eggs you get
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:19, Reply)

As long as it isn't any of that
Fifty Shades of Grey nonsense.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:18, Reply)

I've never read that book.
But I understand it to be like porn, but for women.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:19, Reply)

Here's a taster
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA
(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:22, Reply)

Haven't read it either
not my thing. I don't blame people for reading it though, it's like the porn equivalent of James Patterson- shit but apparently popular.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:28, Reply)

It wasn't a picture book

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:13, Reply)