Someone has written something so rude in that last thread that nit is now blocked by our firewall
I'll just chill up here by myself....

What are the chances of me getting my new router to work this evening? I'm guessing slim to none. What are you useless at?

alt: what are you unusually good at?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:44, 94 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

:(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)

was it the word whore?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:46, Reply)

No idea, sometimes individual threads get blocked
anyway if I knew I really wouldn't tell you as you'd put it in every thread
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:47, Reply)

more likely to be your "they've fucked off" group?
routers are usually OK as long as you remember to save any changes before logging off or rebooting it.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:50, Reply)

Have you tried reading the instructions and not being a spastic.
/Your bentness is not related to setting up a router.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:48, Reply)

Actually they say put in cd
follow instrcutions
profit

last time I did this though i had to phone talktalk and there was all kinds of shit about "plug ins" or "drivers", i don't know what a driver is.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:49, Reply)

it's a little peiece of software that helps your comuter talk to your router/phone/printer etc

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)

Fuck the CD off
just plug your computer into it.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)

is that a technical term? I'm scared to do a "fuck the cd off" google search at work

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:52, Reply)

Just plug your computer into the router and turn everything on.
It'll work.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)

then open a web browser
type 192.168.0.1 (if this doesn't work try 192.168.1.0 or 192.168.1.1)
login to the router and fiddle til fixed
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Thanks everyone, i shall report back my imminent success!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Shouldn't even need to do that.
Windows has a dynamic IP by default, so it'll use whatever the router issues to it. He shouldn't need to go to the web portal unless he wants to open ports.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:00, Reply)

true, he shouldn't
i thought he was having problems and asked for help, otherwise he should be able to plug it in and go
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:02, Reply)

nah, haven't strated yet

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)

and it isn't one you've bought by yourself? it came when you ordered an internet service from BT/Talktalk etc?
then you should be able to just plug it in and go
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:05, Reply)

I've bought this one from ebuyer as the once talktalk provided isn't strong enough for the new flat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:06, Reply)

well then you will need to dial into it using the 192... thing up there
set your username and password (as in the login details for your broadband), then the rest will be automatic
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:07, Reply)

Whoop thanks Q and others

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:09, Reply)

there'll be instructions with the router
just don't stray from them
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:10, Reply)

Oh my God.
I'm glad you don't have my number.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:11, Reply)

I'll just pop over to cippenham and do a massive steaming turd on the pavement
that should flush you out
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:14, Reply)

I tried to open ports once to increase download speed
I didn't do very well as you can imagine and I accidently opened a portal to the nertherworld instead
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)

This is basically why the IT departments around the world exist
to stop hapless users from opening the port to Hell. This is where most viruses come from, you know.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:08, Reply)

^this
all the CD sent by your ISP does is rebrand Internet Explorer so it says "provided by talktalk" and put other crapware on. Windows already has everything it needs to connect built in (except wireless on a desktop )
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:55, Reply)

Drivers explain to your computer what a piece of hardware does,
so you'll have drivers for your mouse, your dvd drive, your modem and everything else.
They're basically a set of rules to make the thing that are plugged into your computer work properly. Learning how to update your own drivers to the latest version will mean you get a lot less computer problems.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:52, Reply)

Interesting
although I'm now imagining a little chauffer in my mouse
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)

It wears a little hat.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

I am utterly useless at maths.
alt: everything else (hello, ladies)
( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:49, Reply)

was it me?
I said rape!
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:50, Reply)

STOP TRYING TO GET MY THREADBLOCKED

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)

actual lol

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)

cunt shit piss wank cock
fuck arse
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)

RAPIST RAPING RAPER RAPE RAPE RAPE

( Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Fuck off you cunting slut bucket

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

i'm hurt :(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)

When I get home, I'll make a dictionary of every word in that previous thread that isn't on this one and we'll have our answer.
Unless it's a phrase.

I mean, if I could be arsed
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:07, Reply)

how was your date gonz?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:08, Reply)

I had a great time but as a date? I FONT KNOW =((((((()
We meet up the next day, should have asked her to crash round, I'm so stupid not saying that
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:27, Reply)

next time, get the futon ready

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:29, Reply)

futon jar of oranges
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:31, Reply)

All the boys love it when you say rape
because your eyes secretly say yes even when you scream no and try and unite your hands.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)

i kinda like death cab for cutie
I must be old too
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Nah that puts you firmly in the retro hipster group K

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:02, Reply)

does it?
I didn't know there were such a thing!
I don't feel like a retro hipster
Do I need to dress differently?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:05, Reply)

You'll need a moustache

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:05, Reply)

You need heavy rimmed glasses
a scarf, a battered blazer and a smug expression.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:05, Reply)

Is that like a normal blazer but really fucking small?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:16, Reply)

I just got this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:25, Reply)

a new Naked Apre record!
well done big guy!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:30, Reply)

cheers bbf

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:30, Reply)

That router's going to make him its bitch :(

( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:31, Reply)

I know, it's been nice knowing you all
My last laptop actually caught fire at one point
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:32, Reply)

You have no idea how happy this knowledge makes me.

( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:34, Reply)

I tried ctrl alt delete
But it just kept on smoking :(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:39, Reply)

Right, Bob Diamond says he wants to keep his job so he can make sure it doesn't happen again.
I have to wonder, why, when the guy is clearly so rich he never has to do a days work again in his life, does he bother? Why not just go "Ahhh, fuck it, you'll never pin anything actually illegal on me, so I'm off".
( Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:01, Reply)

It is I suppose possible if highly unlikely that a sense of professional duty might be the reason.
By which I mean EVIL FAT CAT BANKERS STEALING ALL OUR MONEY, OCCUPY LONDON NOW!!!!, obv.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:03, Reply)

Don't justify them, they're cunts of the highest order,
If you can be arsed read the full report, and be shocked at firstly how obvious the fraud was, and secondly (in the second half) how obvious all the other LIBOR submitters were doing exactly the same thing.
www.fsa.gov.uk/static/pubs/final/barclays-jun12.pdf
(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:10, Reply)

Will resignations follow at the top of all the main banks now?
They were all at it, so surely if a Barclays chap has had to go, there should be more, right?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:15, Reply)

None have been charged/fined by the FSA.
Barclays admitted it and so got a 30% reduction in their fine. I bet the rest will deny everything and maybe 1/3rd of them will be eventually fined. So some people will get away with it scott free.
The ones that that can have it pinned on them by the FSA will probably lose board members.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:17, Reply)

But that will only be a reshuffle from board a to board b.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:24, Reply)

It's not just about the money, it's about the power and the "legacy"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:03, Reply)

The kind of person that rise to those sorts of heights probably can't imaghine not working
it's in their very being.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:03, Reply)

I wonder if they actually feel any sort of shame or guilt for what they do?
I reckon they don't.

I think that's perfectly good reason to stop considering them as humans and therefore eligible for being shot with rifles for sport.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:06, Reply)

I suspect you are right
manipulating some numbers on a screen leave you so far removed from the reality of waht's happening i guess. And well everybody else is doing it and will get better bonuses than you unless you do it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:08, Reply)

because some people like the power
or can't handle not working.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:09, Reply)

I am useless at cooking
I keep trying but it never goes right.

Alt: I'm pretty good at writing. Found an old half written novel I abandoned and was reading it through without realising it was mine. It was not bad at all.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)

how did it end/

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:05, Reply)

we'll never know
:O
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:06, Reply)

It didn't. Thus the half written.
I got bored.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:06, Reply)

Did you get naked in it?

( Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:06, Reply)

it was called fifty shades of Gove

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:07, Reply)

"Michael opened the door to his dungeon, his attempt at a chin wobbled up and down as his pigeon chest heaved as he came close to hyperventilating
"I've, i've never actually touched a real woman" he said as I slid my hands up his tie and began to undo it, as my fingers brushed against his neck he convused suddenly "GAAAAAGH!" he exclaimed.

I looked down at a rapidly growing damp patch on the front of his shiny grey trousers.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:11, Reply)

PORNOGRAPHIC TIT JOBBY

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:11, Reply)

That is truly disgusting
and I wouldn't be caught dead in a dungeon.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:13, Reply)

If you're in a dungeon you've already been caught.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:14, Reply)

Oh whatever
You're a Tory, you'll be into auto-erotic asphyxiation before you know it.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:17, Reply)

the only oranges in her fruit bowl
are soaked in amyl nitrate
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:18, Reply)

She has a massive jar of them
like the jars of pickled eggs you get
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:19, Reply)

As long as it isn't any of that
Fifty Shades of Grey nonsense.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:18, Reply)

I've never read that book.
But I understand it to be like porn, but for women.
( Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:19, Reply)

Here's a taster
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA
(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:22, Reply)

Haven't read it either
not my thing. I don't blame people for reading it though, it's like the porn equivalent of James Patterson- shit but apparently popular.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:28, Reply)

It wasn't a picture book

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:13, Reply)

Money management, DIY and indeed anything else of any practical use in life.
However if you want to know about pointless stupid shit I am your man.

Alt: Fuck all, sadly. I am 'pretty good' or at best 'really pretty good' at lots of things but excel at nothing other than idiocy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 17:06, Reply)

Alt: Cunnilingus

( Peej, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 18:24, Reply)