tonight is girls night out at work
It consists of make up, handbag, and dance class reps and us trying to pretend we're cheery and awesome, but it's shit and I'm not coming.
what do your girls night/boys night consist of?

Alt fifty shades, what's the deal eh?
Alt alt what book do you want made into a movie?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:08, 84 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Don't really do 'girl' nights
but I have a party at my house tomorrow for work people and there are only women there. So, I guess the answer is cake and red wine.

alt: it's a fucking disgrace and should make women everywhere embarassed for it's terrible anti-feminist ideas. Not that I've read it. I just borrow opinions from other people...
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:16, Reply)

the reviews I've heard arent really considered words, more mumbling and animalistic growls

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:19, Reply)

It is embarrassing badly written
Genuinely, it's not people being snobby it's awful. It's purely read for interests sake
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:20, Reply)

the plot is something like
20 year old leaves college, creepy middle aged rich dude makes her sign a contract that he controls her life and makes all her decisions. This happens and apparently is not at all creepy (tracking her phone, etc.). Then badly written sex.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:22, Reply)

'my inner goddess'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:23, Reply)

i know I am
wait...no...that's...eugh
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:25, Reply)

oh and according to the author
women like it because their lives are all difficult and they have lots of things to do and so having someone make all their decisions and controlling them would be awesome and sexy and stuff.

*facepalm*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:24, Reply)

You're totes a cross betwixt Bella Anodyne and Wicca'd Witch.
I'm totes a cross between Pat Bateman and Midge Ure.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:27, Reply)

im guessing my friends are only interested in the apparently sexy bits

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:28, Reply)

Beer, sport, lewd jokes, banter the normal really
Alt: she kills him in the end
Altalt: Spot's supper
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:17, Reply)

Sports nakkers?
Aint that a dirty word in this site?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:28, Reply)

Hey K I'm listening to city of evil on the bus

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:24, Reply)

Beer, birds, bumbles, beats.
Alt- EL James is a real-life spankyhanky and is therefore lapped up by plebs, nonces, idiots and Pratchett fans. Poorly written sex lies, offline.

Alt alt- Atomised by Michel Houellebecq.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:25, Reply)

Poker nights, drink beer, eat food and gossip.
I'm not planning on reading 50 shades.

And "The Belgariad" by David Eddings a five-book fantasy epic. one of my Fav reads as a kid. The movie would be way better than (gay)lord of the rings
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:26, Reply)

did you just imply that EDDINGS is better than Tolkein?
seriously?! Eddings is formulaic 12 year old's fantasy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:27, Reply)

unlike Tolkien
Lol
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:29, Reply)

Tolkien just rambles on and on and on and ariston

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:30, Reply)

alot of it's pretty racist and misogynistic

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:39, Reply)

Wow Rory are you white knighting me?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:41, Reply)

tolkiens not only a Racist and Misogynist
but more unforgiveably deeply boring
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:43, Reply)

this.
Rory is 100% here.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:43, Reply)

Fuck will the internet break if I agree with you?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:47, Reply)

i'm very agreeable

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:48, Reply)

Rory speaks a lot of sense.
His role on OT is like Lear's Fool.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:48, Reply)

I was 21 when I finally got round to reading tolkein
and I read the whole hobbit/LOTR set in one go. I fucking loved them.
The films bored me rigid though. I don't think I've managed one yet without falling asleep about half an hour in.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:40, Reply)

you just have no imagination

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:47, Reply)

You're probably right.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:51, Reply)

you do realise that five-book sci fi/ fantasy sagas are for spastics, virgins and the clinically obese, right?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:28, Reply)

As i said as a kid.
At the time I read them I was a virgin.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:29, Reply)

I am right though, yes?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:30, Reply)

no

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:31, Reply)

Soz, I missed autists and larpers from the list of shame.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:32, Reply)

you're like the guy who inexplicably wrote on of the text books on sci fi
I read for my Masters whose viewpoint was basically 'all sci fi is for losers, except these 3 books i found which actually are very clever and I am very clever for finding them and knowing they are good' while missing all the other literary, conceptual and insightful sci fi in the world.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:36, Reply)

especially shatners tekwars

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:41, Reply)

and this classic
www.amazon.co.uk/Shatnerquake-Jeff-Burk/dp/1933929820/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342028628&sr=8-1


(actually, I've not read this one, but my friend has - he describes it as shatnertastic)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:44, Reply)

Damning with faint praise, what?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:45, Reply)

is there nothing william shatner can't turn his hand to

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:46, Reply)

acting, singing, writing...

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:46, Reply)

'the Shat's' cool man

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:47, Reply)

he is the punchline to a tired, casually offensive joke.
Why is Uhura black? William Shatner. Etc etc.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:50, Reply)

But who would win in a fight "the Shatz" vs "The Hoff"?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:50, Reply)

Society.
If they both died as a result.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:51, Reply)

Have a click

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:54, Reply)

'the hoff' is a big guy and twenty years younger
you should really be asking who'd win between the hoff and jan michael vincent
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:55, Reply)

Are they allowed to use KITT and Airwolf?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:59, Reply)

I like Gibson and Ballard's sci fi stuff.
But I draw the line at fucking sagas and serials. If an author is that tedious that they want to discuss slavery, technology, fascism, genetic engineering, then fine, go ahead. I just don't see why they fan't just make their point concisely. A good author knows when to stop, a sci fi fantasy one knows when spinning out their didactic shit to 8 books long will wring the most amount of cash out of Warhammer players.

I'll stick to magical realism and literary fiction thanks.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:43, Reply)

Yep you probs are right.
In my defense this was in the days before the Interweb
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:31, Reply)

Dune?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:31, Reply)

It was OK.
Micheal Moorcock's books also ok
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:32, Reply)

Dune as well.
I still lol at the film. What was Lynch thinking?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:33, Reply)

the film misses a lot of the points of the books

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:36, Reply)

Ah yes, the points.
Didacticism.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:46, Reply)

Drink, usually.
And giggling. And talking about willies.

Having said that, I don't have many female friends, so I'm more into the whole 'watching football, drinking and shamelessly flirting' nights out with the lads.

alt: I've heard it's shit. If I wanted to read badly-written unbelievable porn, I'd read QOTW.

alt alt: most of the books I like are series, and would make great TV. David Hewson, Chris Kuzneski, James Rollins. All top entertaining thriller type novelists. Look them up if you care to.

alt alt alt: for some reason, the codeine I took upwards of an hour ago is really playing havoc with my head. i feel proper drunk.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:35, Reply)

I'm too tired to answer the question.
Sorry K. I might answer it after dinner.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:49, Reply)

Just agree with me instead, you bumwit.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:50, Reply)

Ohhhh about 7 years ago whilst on holiday the villa had books and I read most of this......
Otherland written by Tad Williams a science fiction/cyberpunk tetralogy. enjoyed it that much I read the rest of the books when I got back. I think that it has the twists to make a good film.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 18:59, Reply)

I prefer mixed group outings. The next male only evening will either be tomorrow or Saturday with Boyce and Stunned.
This will involve lots of beer, but the it would also be beer based if any of our wifes/ girlfriends attended. I am too old for stag do-type events.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:07, Reply)

Evening Batts.
The whole clubbing type environment lost its appeal to me years ago. The crappiest stag-do I ever attended was in Amsterdam
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:10, Reply)

Ooh.
I was sent a email late this afternoon by a recruitment company asking how interested I am in a contract they are trying to fulfil.

This could be interesting.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:21, Reply)

is it a contract to assassinate someone?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:22, Reply)

I hope not.
But if the money is good....
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:27, Reply)

all money is good, more money is best.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:29, Reply)

well opined socrates

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:31, Reply)

Recruitment companies,
They only want to put you in the exact job your in for the commision. I had a rather frank discussion with some twat who thought that my 14 years experience, might not be what the Company was looking for and a post Grad. would be more suitable, I managed to find out who the company was and applied directly and got the position. He refused to even put my CV forward.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:29, Reply)

bobby used to work in recruitment
he let slip that another bloke sucked him off for tea one day. What a loser
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:32, Reply)

WTF he paid in Tea for a blowie from a man?
Ohhhh which one is Bobby?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:34, Reply)

nah, he was feeling bi and some other gay in the office sucked him off
that's what they do in recruitment, they're all fags
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:36, Reply)

bobbys the fat kid

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:37, Reply)

I'm still none the wiser, but thats Probs. a good thing not to know.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:40, Reply)

Bobby is Thundercunt.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:40, Reply)

AAARRRRRrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.
Can somebody pass me the mindbleach
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:43, Reply)

Sure, I'll chuck in a free sample of mental floss as well.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:44, Reply)

Cheers.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:45, Reply)

I'm very magnanimous.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:49, Reply)

Yahoo actually, and it wasn't a blowie it was a reacharound.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:42, Reply)

Of course they want
The commission. That's their primary revenue stream. But at the same time, if they don't put good candidates forward to companies who they work with, that company will use someone else.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:34, Reply)

is it a long-term insurance contract with an investment element?
With Profits lols.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:25, Reply)

This joke needs a lower level
Of granularity.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:26, Reply)

I got sent an email yesterday for a nine month contract
Doing hands on grant work for the programme I used to lead on. There are several advantages to applying; I know the job inside out and could do it standing on my head, it's nine months guaranteed work until next June whereas I'm only contracted until this September at the moment (although it could be extended / become permanent), the pay's better than I'm currently on... but... do I really want to swim in the same river twice?

I'll probably apply anyway because of the longer job security attached to it, but the prospect of working for a group who's madder ideas I had to veto on a regular basis is a bit, I don't know...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:33, Reply)

where's beegeebee man?
she ent gone loopy again?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:38, Reply)

Nah, she's coming to visit at the weekend.
Just got a lot on work wise. She'll be touched by your concern Rory. I'll tell her.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:40, Reply)

i've got my creepy matrix to keep updated

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:41, Reply)

Neololz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:44, Reply)

The difference is that Rory is sat in his pants in front of a bank of monitor screens
and doesn't know Kung Fu.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 19:50, Reply)