Well the day has to start with fingers and lube, obviously.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:26, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

considering I'm in my mate's house, and they're all blokes, I don't think they'd take that well.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:26, Reply)

You really don't understand men.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:27, Reply)

I think you'll find they'll take it extremely well.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:27, Reply)

^ this ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:29, Reply)

^^ agreed ^^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:29, Reply)

Not if one of them is gay, one is taken, and the other two are just not interested.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:34, Reply)

just not interested clearly also gay
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:36, Reply)

Or pretending not to be interested to ncrease the chances of seeing her tits.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Really... Yeah men hate that stuff

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:29, Reply)

I dunno about you, Bob, but if an attractive girl started frotting herself in my house
I'd throw her right out on her ear. I mean, you'd never get the stains out of the chaise longue, would you?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:30, Reply)

I for one would be appalled with this sort of behaviour.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Well an attractive girl I would allow, poppet* on the other hand...
*has never seen poppet
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:35, Reply)

They also really hate it when you make them cups of coffee.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:30, Reply)

+ bacon sandwiches.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:31, Reply)

And fetch you beer.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:33, Reply)

And iron your clothes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:34, Reply)

do all that yourself you lazy cunts.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:35, Reply)

Wimmin's jobs, innit.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:36, Reply)

Tell you what, once you've washed the car I'll take you shopping for something small and lacy.
How does that sound treacle?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Sounds like you can shove it up your fucking jacksy.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Hahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:39, Reply)

You know, I'd quite happily exchange washing the car for a purchase from Agent Provocateur
When I still had a car I used to have to wash it and I didn't get anything for that.
(berk, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:45, Reply)

you got a clean car.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:46, Reply)

But clean car and dirty knickers sounds so much more fun
NB, I do not mean 'dirty' as in 'soiled'.
(berk, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:53, Reply)

yes, you did, you terrible harlot.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 11:00, Reply)

I like to think that I'm pretty open minded
but pre-worn pants is just grim.
(berk, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 11:05, Reply)

....
yes.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 11:24, Reply)

+ just wearing a thong.
(note for Poppet - this is the Queen's English use of 'thong' as in a skimpy lower-half undergarment. While I'm pretty sure some people would reach Def Con Bongle on the back of a lass just wearing a single flipflop, that's not my bag. Soz)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:33, Reply)

Aren't you like 16 or so?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:33, Reply)

I think she's about 20 or sutin now.
Apparently, time passes on here. Fuck knows how.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Okay, that aside, this is still a creepy subthread.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)

You're right, actually.
I've been here too long, I've caught low level creepy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:38, Reply)

creepSy
i, for one, am maintaining shambles' most excellent improvement of this word
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:40, Reply)

She's 20.
Which, apparently, is enough.
( Kroney, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Enough for what?
And yes, I'm 20.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:35, Reply)

For open field sweaty-handedness.

( Kroney, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Oh BOY.
Can't wait for that to start.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Enough to be creeped at by internet weirdos.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Take a look around you
you've been here long enough. You felt you needed to say this?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:45, Reply)

Half your age plus seven is the youngest you should go apparently.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:35, Reply)

Again, a bit spergishly creepy.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:41, Reply)

It was on xkcd.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:45, Reply)

The prosecution rests.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:47, Reply)

The "rules" say I'm not allowed to touch anything under 25 now
Fucking rules.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:35, Reply)

19 for me.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:35, Reply)

26 for me.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:36, Reply)

158 for me

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)

We're talking about ages, not restraining orders, Chompy.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:44, Reply)

Ha ha.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:46, Reply)

"rules" "wedding ring"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:40, Reply)

No, the wedding ring says I'm not allowed to touch anything.
The rules, on the other hand, specify the age of the things I'm not allowed to touch anyway.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:41, Reply)

oh
it's like a double lot of rules.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:42, Reply)

This is why I don't wear a wedding ring*



* not true, I simply don't like wearing jewellery.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Technically, right now mine is on a thing around my neck.
So I'm not wearing it either. terrible husband.

Edit - you'll get a lot more ladies trying it on if you do wear one, though. IME.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:44, Reply)

My wife isn't bothered in the slightest that I don't have one.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:45, Reply)

i think they should be fitted with tasers, myself

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:48, Reply)

wives? or wedding rings?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:48, Reply)

men's wedding rings
"i wasn't staring at that bird's arrrrrrrrgh"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:51, Reply)

Maybe we shouldn't have to wear them in the first place.
We aren't pieces of meat to be tagged with some kind of symbol of ownership. It's like when farmers stick plastic tags through sheep.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 11:13, Reply)

I was told by the ex that I *would* be wearing a wedding ring
regardless of my feelings on the subject.
( Kroney, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 11:15, Reply)

WE ARE MEN, NOT OBJECTS

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 11:17, Reply)

I told her she didn't have to wear one if she didn't want to, either.
I have never worn a ring in my life and I wouldn't be comfortable with suddenly wearing one all the time. No dice. I would wear one and that was that.

I didn't really think that was fair.

I'd have been ok with wearing it around my neck or something, I think. She wasn't OK with that.
( Kroney, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 11:19, Reply)

Did this conversation take place in the Jorvik Centre?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 11:23, Reply)

Hahaha no
Some time before that. She was a stubborn woman.
( Kroney, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 11:24, Reply)

I frequently fiddled with my ring (hohoho) and kept dropping it,
which pissed the ex right off. I hate gold as well, so I thought it looked shit.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 11:24, Reply)

My wedding ring isn't bothered in the slightest that I don't own an wife.
Probably because it got melted down after I flogged it.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:49, Reply)

You stay away from me.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:41, Reply)

I'm a caring and considerate lover.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:42, Reply)

boooooooooring

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 10:42, Reply)