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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Tattoos are shit and it's only ever attention seeking wankers who get them.
If you want a disfiguring mark that makes people look at you, set fire to yourself.
What's better, toast or crumpets?
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:09, 70 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Bacon.

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:14, Reply)
This boy has his finger on the pulse

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:15, Reply)
Some tattoos are fucking brilliant
Some not so good. That scarification is proper grim though

Crumpets
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:14, Reply)
Weetabix is shit

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:14, Reply)
crumpet, buttered, plus marmite
Fried egg on top, cheesy beans on the side.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:16, Reply)
Stop being so alternative with your waqqqi meals and your piercings.
I bet you have the Mo Wax logo tattooed on your penis.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:21, Reply)
I have your dad's face tattooed on your cock.

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:25, Reply)
I have your dad's cock tattoed on my face.

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:26, Reply)
I have my cock tattooed on YOUR face.
No returns.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:28, Reply)
There's some cunt in my hometown walking around with the No Fear eyes tattooed on the back of his mangy balding badly shaven head.
He got proper upset at me for laughing at him the first time I saw him.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:26, Reply)
That's...unfortunate.

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:30, Reply)
what a dick
I mean you Monts, not the stylish tattoo guy.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:33, Reply)
The Brittas Empire is a British sitcom created and originally written by Andrew Norriss and Richard Fegen.
Chris Barrie plays Gordon Brittas, the well-meaning but incompetent manager of Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:37, Reply)
I was in Asda a couple of years back
and this bald fella was walking around with a vest on, sporting an extremely tasteful, large tattoo of a skeleton on horseback, with the ever popular phrase 'WHITE POWER' emblazoned across the top. I ended up going down the cheese aisle to avoid him. I didn't need any cheese.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:32, Reply)
Oh my dad's alright really.
As long as you're not, you know, 'dusky'.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:35, Reply)
The artwork was very impressive, I'll give him that

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:44, Reply)
I saw a guy with his top off in Waitrose of all places, witha Swastika over his heart
American History X style
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:55, Reply)
That's really not very Waitrose.
I hope they overcharged him at the deli counter.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:02, Reply)
I bet they charged him for Pimento stuffed olives when ACTUALY he ordered the cheaper garlic stuffed olives
IN YOUR FACE FASCISM!
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:03, Reply)
taking down facism
one piece of tofu at a time.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:03, Reply)
Oh man Hitler is going to be so mad!

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:07, Reply)
I used to know a chap who got his mate to tattoo him with the Motorhead logo.
The bloke spelled it wrong so they gave up - for the past 20 odd years he's walked around with 'Mota' on his forearm.

Toast is more versatile so if it's one or the other forever I'd go toast please.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:18, Reply)
shit like that
Is why I think Chinese tattoos on non-chinese-reading people are hilarious.

I can't read it either but I like to imagine what it REALLY says
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:49, Reply)
I couldn't give the tiniest fuck what people do with their own bodies
I prefer crumpets to toast. Jesus.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:22, Reply)
You wouldn't say that if a vagrant sat next to you on a train and started wanking.
Thought for the day.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:23, Reply)
As long as he's paid his ticket like me, he can do as he pleases
I'll have my headphones on and be lost in the greatest hits of Glenn Medeiros
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:27, Reply)
He's so dreamy!

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:33, Reply)
When he sings 'Nothing's gonna save my love for you'
I pretend he's singing it at me!
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:34, Reply)
What a controversial post, this is sure to get some people argueing!!!
both toast and crumpets have their place, i do not se one as a day to day alternative for the other.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:31, Reply)
Crumpet wins
as toast is not a seventies sitcom euphemism for sex.

Tattoos aren't my thing, but the really well done ones can be excellent. The bad ones however......
Tramp stamps and/or neck tattoos = chav
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:50, Reply)
I balance my attention seeking tats
by having a cockload of disfiguring scars as well.

There is no "better" ... they are different comestibles, AB. That's like asking what is better, steak or bacon? There can be no answer.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)
STEAKON!!!!

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:09, Reply)
I'm now thinking of a big juicy steak with a line of fat down one side
sliced "horizontally" into pseudo bacon. I think that would be quite nice.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:17, Reply)
I don't have any tattoos
and I make negative assumptions about people I see with them.
It seems pointless to argue the relative merits of two different foods.
They both have their place and can be enjoyed in their own way.
Personally I find toast to be an acceptable breakfast food, whereas crumpets I think are better suited to an afternoon tea or perhaps late at night toasted on an open fire.
I don't think these views are particularly controversial or ground-breaking.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)
but they are endorsed by Two Hats

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:58, Reply)
They are indeed.
It adds a certain gravitas to my words.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Crumpets. Official Two Hats official buttered material of choice.

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:00, Reply)

crumpets bumholes
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:00, Reply)
that too.

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:01, Reply)

t p
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Crumpets, like bumholes have the potential to be great
but it's all in the preperation
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:14, Reply)
And there is nothing quite like a well prepared bumhole

(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:16, Reply)
I'm so alternative
I have piercings but no tattoos.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:09, Reply)
Crumpets obv
Don't have a tattoo, don't really care about them. I think some look nice but once you've got more than 3 or 4 you've crossed the line into freak territory. It's like once you've had a few drinks a few more sound like a good idea but they're usually not.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:13, Reply)
toast and marmite
Also, I think some tattoos can be really nice but I don't like the whole sleeve thing or tattoos that cover a large area of the body.

Tattoos that reference popular culture are beyond the pale.in a few years
(, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 9:46, Reply)

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